iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::22.12.06::

Kathryn's Tips of Yuletidey Goodness

Around this time of year, you read articles in magazines giving you tips to make Christmas easier. Most of them are complete crap. Don't listen to them. Instead read my Tips of Yuletidey Goodness for the best Christmas ever.

1. Generic gifts, don't do them. Some friends of mine do the generic gift thing. During the year they buy up cheap candles and books from discount shops and the like then come Christmas, they divvy them for the people on their gift giving list. That really makes a girl feel special! If someone can't make the time and effort to go out and buy a gift especially for me then I don't want it. If you have friends who do this or if you do this yourself for people, then maybe it's time to stop exchanging gifts - you're only doing it out of obligation anyway and who needs that shit anyway!

2. Emergency Gifts, don't do them. You always read those hints about buying a gift or two to wrap in case an unexpected visitor turns up at Christmas time. What a load of bunk. Imagine this, right. I go home for Christmas and my mum drags my off to see old Aunty Whosit, that I've not seen since I was yay high. So she drags a gift wrapped cake of Cashmere Bouquet soap from under the tree. That's not going to make me feel all festively happy. I'm going to know it's her 'oh fuck' gift and she's going to know I know. It's going to be awkward and uncomfortable and really not worth the fuss for a cake of soap. Sometimes fine hospitality is the greatest gift of all.

If you forget to buy someone a gift then maybe it's because you don't really like them. Cut them off your list.

3. Don't get into insane gift-giving spirals of doom. So last year Mrs Jones from across the way gave you a plate of her homemade shortbread and this year you feel like you should give her something in return. It's never going to end up well. Within a few years, you'll be spending most of October and November sweating it out in the kitchen because you're giving gifts to everyone within a 5 km radius of your house. And think about it - did Mrs Jones give you those treats because she wanted you be guilt-wracked and anxious? Do you think she wants your obligation cookies? Sometimes receiving graciously is the greatest gift of all.

4. You don't have to buy EVERYONE gifts. I didn't know until this year that people give gifts to their kids schoolteachers. Who'd have thought it? Then I realised I gave them the greatest gift of all - I gave them the gift of my son to educate for the year. And that's like the most Christmassy thing of all because if you believe in the whole Christian thing, Christmas is about God giving his son to to the world. Also, teachers don't need another tin of talcum powder, really they don't.

That's it. The basic rule of thumb here is - if you don't enjoy it, don't do it. If you love spending hours baking cookies then that's all well and good but if you hate it then just stop. Eat the things you enjoy, be with the people you love. If people get offended then screw them. Hopefully they'll still not be talking to you by next year and that will be one less stress on the Christmas list.

# 12 comments * Post a Comment

lmao on this post Kathryn, I am so with you on all those points!!!
Especially could relate to teacher one. WTF is that about?? I have enough trouble buying for the people I have to without adding teachers to the scenario

By Anonymous, at 12:17 pm

heheh! I'm suffering a chronic case of the bah hambugs at the moment cause I'm stuck at work (note to self, working afternoon shift the week before Christmas does not make a happy Sarah ... but more of that later).

I have to agree with your tips, I hate generic gifts and I've been stuck in more than enough gift giving spirals of doom to know better.

By Anonymous, at 2:43 pm

VEry funny and oh so true Kathryn. Have a great xmas and hope it is stress free and full of lots of laughter..

By Anonymous, at 3:09 pm

amen! :)

By Anonymous, at 12:19 am

Hey Kathryn! This is such an awesome post, and so so sooo true. If I get one more Dusk candle, box of Ferreros, pack of body lotions/shower gels or bottle of cheap (but-not-so-cheap-it-makes-them-look-bad) red wine, I'm going to feel like no one knows me at all!
Giving is supposed to be about making someone feel good, not handing over $20 to any mass-producing retailer to cross a chore off your list.
Have a lovely Chrissy - thanks for your friendship and support this year.

By Kenz, at 12:29 am

So very true.

It is the thought that counts afterall, and if there's no thought, or at least not a caring one... then what's the point?

By Anonymous, at 7:21 am

ROFLMAO!! You ARE hilarious, but so darned right!
Bri

By Anonymous, at 9:48 am

so so true Kathryn. spot on. Have a happy Xmas, see u in the New Year.

By Anonymous, at 10:04 am

I agree! it was the lacy underwear given to me two years ago by my boyfriend's mother that made me realise that I could never buy them a present that conveyed my true feelings!

By Anonymous, at 11:56 am

I reckon you should buy gifts for teachers. Or service people, like your hairdresser, beautician, personal trainer etc If you have an established relationship with them.

We give our Garbo a 6pack of beer every year. It means he doesn't crush the garbage near our house. Before they did every week.

Maybe I think like this cause I AM a beautician though LOL. My clients get little gifts too. Like homemade choccy balls or gingerbread or whatever. It's just something small to show I care and I make them myself with love.

The rest of em are pretty spot on though I reckon. I mean seriously I am OVER Candles and Body Wash for Christmas. Do I stink or something? Nope it's just people don't think. How hard is it to think of something I would like? I'm a beautician FFS I can buy this stuff wholesale! In fact I sell This stuff!

By Anonymous, at 6:03 pm

Just LOVE your attitude, and agree wholeheartedly with it all. Why get all bent outta shape over things when it's supposed to be a neat time of year! Have a great time over the holidays, eat, drink and enjoy.

By Anonymous, at 7:06 am

Love this!

By Anonymous, at 2:13 am