[a weight loss story]
*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*
I've been doing some thinking about my pig out on the weekend, wondering why I do these kinds of things and have really started to work out some of the issues I have towards food.
When I was growing up, my family had a real feast or famine attitude. When dad got paid, we'd have treats aplenty but then things would get sparser and sparser through the month until eating anything non-essential - a slice of bread after school, some leftovers from the fridge - would be a major issue.
To make things worse, my dad was a contractor working for small businesses so he always had issues about getting paid. There was no regular date when payslip would appear. Sometimes he'd have to wait a week or more after the due date to get his money. I remember being dragged along to his boss's house on weekends when dad would go to pick up his pay and not being sure why. Looking back now, I think it was because having the kids along (and more than likely whinging about being bored and wanting to go home) made the bossman more willing to pay up.
When we did have treats as kids, it was all about getting in there first and getting what you could. A fight for survival. If Mum baked a cake or bought a packet of biscuits, you had to be ready to jump in before it was all gone. If you were doing something else, maybe engrossed in a book or drawing or taking a nap, then you missed out. I'm sure in some way, it was to make Mum's stuff more important than anything else that was going on. Drop everything, grab as much as you can, or tough shit - you miss out.
Of course, it's all fine to analyse this stuff and work out WHY you do things, but the more important step is work out HOW to change. I think the lesson I have to learn is that I'm in charge of my food. If I cook treats, they aren't going anywhere. I don't have eat everything at once, I can save some for later and be confident it will be there when I want it.
My cold is back. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm cursed. I've taken today off work and I'm trying to sweat it out because I need to get back to the gym. It's less than 6 weeks to the City to Surf and I'm panicking about the meagre amount of training I've done. The longest run I've done lately is 6 km.
I think you rock!
Go you gorgous forest you !
I've been thinking about the same thing lately. I posted about it on my blog. I think our childhoods had a lot in common. Feast or famine--and so I was always in famine mode, injesting every calorie available just in case. I hope that over time, showing ourselves over and over that we are not going to starve, no one is taking our food away, will let us really believe that. Which could change everything, right?
aww hope u feel better again soon, i know that cold super annoyed u last time!
Hey Kathryn - so glad you shared that with us - it has really made me realise that every reaction we have can be attributed to something. I think the fact you have acknowledged this is the first step in overcoming it. I am not quite brave enough to put down why I think I use food as my crutch but I guess the first step is that I am thinking about it.
Funny thing is that a similar thing happened to me yesterday. I was eating lunch at my moms house and we had leftover peri peri chicken (which is my favourite) and I got into the whole mindseat that I had to eat really fast so I couldn't have 2nds before everyone else finished it. I didn't even want 2nds!! I was full!!! Its terrible. I know I do this almost every time I eat at my parents house, its ingrained but I just have to change it somehow.
Hope you are feeling better soon (((hugs)))
drown yourself in vit c and echinacea and rest!!! Or you will stretch a 2 week cold out into a 6 week cold and you;ll be too sick to even get to sydney.
I was discussing the cold thing with a friend last night.
Re: childhood eating issues.
boobs: 100 cm
waist: 81 cm
hips: 109 cm
thighs: 50 cm
Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama
Week 1 - Drink more water
Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats