iDiet

[a weight loss story]

*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*

::3.7.06::

Eating Issues

I've been doing some thinking about my pig out on the weekend, wondering why I do these kinds of things and have really started to work out some of the issues I have towards food.

When I was growing up, my family had a real feast or famine attitude. When dad got paid, we'd have treats aplenty but then things would get sparser and sparser through the month until eating anything non-essential - a slice of bread after school, some leftovers from the fridge - would be a major issue.

To make things worse, my dad was a contractor working for small businesses so he always had issues about getting paid. There was no regular date when payslip would appear. Sometimes he'd have to wait a week or more after the due date to get his money. I remember being dragged along to his boss's house on weekends when dad would go to pick up his pay and not being sure why. Looking back now, I think it was because having the kids along (and more than likely whinging about being bored and wanting to go home) made the bossman more willing to pay up.

When we did have treats as kids, it was all about getting in there first and getting what you could. A fight for survival. If Mum baked a cake or bought a packet of biscuits, you had to be ready to jump in before it was all gone. If you were doing something else, maybe engrossed in a book or drawing or taking a nap, then you missed out. I'm sure in some way, it was to make Mum's stuff more important than anything else that was going on. Drop everything, grab as much as you can, or tough shit - you miss out.

Of course, it's all fine to analyse this stuff and work out WHY you do things, but the more important step is work out HOW to change. I think the lesson I have to learn is that I'm in charge of my food. If I cook treats, they aren't going anywhere. I don't have eat everything at once, I can save some for later and be confident it will be there when I want it.

***

My cold is back. Why does this keep happening to me? I'm cursed. I've taken today off work and I'm trying to sweat it out because I need to get back to the gym. It's less than 6 weeks to the City to Surf and I'm panicking about the meagre amount of training I've done. The longest run I've done lately is 6 km.

I think you rock!

I think you have done so much in changing your attitude towards food, I think you are a concious gym rat now, and you still work on your outlook on food in a way that makes me really drop my jae at times.

Dont look at the one un-perfect tree mate. Look at the gorgeous forrest. You have made it happen!

By Blogger Silverella, at 3:03 pm  

Go you gorgous forest you !

Bummer about the cold! you have been sick for ages.... hmmmm time for some more vitamins?

By Blogger Ang, at 4:12 pm  

I've been thinking about the same thing lately. I posted about it on my blog. I think our childhoods had a lot in common. Feast or famine--and so I was always in famine mode, injesting every calorie available just in case. I hope that over time, showing ourselves over and over that we are not going to starve, no one is taking our food away, will let us really believe that. Which could change everything, right?

I agree with Silverella...you rock!

By Blogger Shaunta, at 4:14 pm  

aww hope u feel better again soon, i know that cold super annoyed u last time!

By Blogger Kt, at 5:25 pm  

Hey Kathryn - so glad you shared that with us - it has really made me realise that every reaction we have can be attributed to something. I think the fact you have acknowledged this is the first step in overcoming it. I am not quite brave enough to put down why I think I use food as my crutch but I guess the first step is that I am thinking about it.

Damn that pesky cold - Don't be stressing about the C2S - the fact that you are just going in it is important

Get better soon xxx

By Blogger littlegrover, at 6:21 pm  

Funny thing is that a similar thing happened to me yesterday. I was eating lunch at my moms house and we had leftover peri peri chicken (which is my favourite) and I got into the whole mindseat that I had to eat really fast so I couldn't have 2nds before everyone else finished it. I didn't even want 2nds!! I was full!!! Its terrible. I know I do this almost every time I eat at my parents house, its ingrained but I just have to change it somehow.

You've come so far and you are doing fine. A slip up now and then is okay and you must not beat yourself up for it.

I hope you get rid of this cold very soon!!!

By Blogger Beee, at 6:30 pm  

Hope you are feeling better soon (((hugs)))

By Blogger 123, at 7:28 am  

drown yourself in vit c and echinacea and rest!!! Or you will stretch a 2 week cold out into a 6 week cold and you;ll be too sick to even get to sydney.

BTW are you sure if you cook yourself treats they'd still be there? I mean your housemates stole your teatowel!LOL

By Blogger Jadey 0:-), at 7:42 pm  

I was discussing the cold thing with a friend last night.

My sickness (flu wise)has dropped dramatically (up to 85% less) since I gave up smoking.

I usually get flu symptoms now the day after going to a really smoky pub.

It'll be interesting to see what happens this time next year once you've given up too if that is what it is.

By Blogger Beckie, at 10:55 pm  

Re: childhood eating issues.

This was a very revelaing post. I completely understand where you were coming from.

In later teenage years, if my dad went away speedway racing for the weekend, my mum used to get movies, chocolate, lollies galore and takeaway food.

I learnt to associate the only time my mum was cuddly and happy was when she was like this. I like to recreate that feeling when I feel like Im not loved. Insane huh?

I never told her.

By Blogger Beckie, at 11:01 pm  

 

stats:

current weight:
76.6 kg

start weight:
110.1 kg

total loss:
33.5 kg

goal weight:
70 kgs

 

measurements:

boobs: 100 cm

waist: 81 cm

hips: 109 cm

thighs: 50 cm

 

Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama

Week 1 - Drink more water

Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats

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