Arrgghh... after the ugly photo incident below, I got on the scales - 75 frigging kilograms! That's a 5 kilogram gain over the past couple of months. I thought I'd die.

So I curled up on my bed, waiting for the Angel of Weight Gaining Death to come for me but apparently it isn't that easy. Instead, I've been plagued by black thoughts. I can't do this any more, I've lost my mojo. All my weight losing skills have gone!

What a crock.

It's so easy to get all superstitious about this crap - to think you need this or that, your lucky pants or the right mix of protein to carbs to lose weight but the honest to god truth is simple - don't put the freakin' food in your mouth.

I gave myself a pep talk, reminding me that I'm the one in charge of my life. It all comes back to me. I'd lost sight of that. It's so easy to go with the flow, and the flow is flowing into the local fish n' chip shop. I've been feeling out of control - eating crap and not cooking good meals, playing spider solitaire and faffing around instead of writing, going to bed late and waking up later.

But I'm taking back the power. It's not magic or the right alignment of the planets that I need. It's knowing my priorities and what I want from life.

ps. the scales are back to 73 kg so I think I must have been bloating :)