Firstly, I went for a 7 km run this morning. It was meant to be my easy, peasy, lemon squeezy 4k run from home to Ceres but I kept going. I suspect my unconscious motivation wasn't to get more exercise but to procrastinate on getting to work!

I'm starting to think that I push myself more when I run on the treadmill at the gym than when I run outside. It's hard to know though because at the gym you definitely sweat more, no chill cold wind to keep you cool! Also too, when I get on the treadmill and enter in a program, I feel committed to it and keep going whereas running outside I can slow down or turn around or lacken off. I think I need to crack the whip on myself when I'm running outside or at least set some challenging goals so I push myself.

Or maybe not. Maybe, because I'm pushing myself hard at the gym, I should just relax and enjoy my outdoor runs. Mmmm... novel thought.

I'm still pondering about my (ex-) housemate's rooms. One thing I didn't mention in my previous post, which is the big argument against it is this - I'm not sure when my contract at work will end. I can afford the extra rent now, but if I'm not working then it will be a huge struggle.

For the past few years, I've had contracts that end near Christmas time. It's incredibly hard to get another contract at that time of year - basically it takes until Feb for things to pick up - so I've got by on savings plus admin temping and the dole.

What really scares me is that a few years ago I got into a massive financial mess because of just such a situation. I had to pay a huge amount of rent - it was a struggle even when I was working - and I couldn't even get temp work. I kept putting off applying for the dole cos I was convinced something would turn up. But a week with no income is a long time and, when it stretches into two or three weeks, things get very dicey.

I ended up going into Centrelink a few days before Christmas to register for the dole. By this stage I was way behind on my rent and other bills. The girl at Centrelink referred me to an organisation that helped with housing. So I sat in their offices half the day and finally talked to someone. They told me they wouldn't help me because my rent was too high. The only way they'd assist me would be if I moved house to somewhere cheaper.

In a way, that made sense but (see above), it was a few days before Christmas. Hello! How do you rent somewhere new when everything is closing down?

I stayed in my house and got further behind in the rent. The dole paid enough so I could either eat or pay rent - if I paid rent, I had about $10 a week to live on. And I wasn't living in a palace either. This was a crappy little weatherboard house in the Western suburbs.

So anyway, I've mentioned on here before, I ended up getting evicted. It was the most horrific time of my life and it makes me wary of having financial commitments I might not be able to meet in future.

I also don't want to feel like I *have* to work over the summer. I'd like to have enough money saved by then to take some time off and just chill. If I get my living expenses down to a bare minimum, then I can do that.

One last thing - in answer to M's question - I will definitely be going to Sydney for the City to Surf.. and I will definitely be running in the City to Surf, even if I have to walk it. Even if I have to crawl it.