So much for good resolutions, I can't seem to stop eating lately. Binging on bread and honey, a whole packet of weight watchers biscuits. I must stop it. Must. Plus I've had no chance to exercise because I've been housesitting for friends and used the whole weekend to get writing projects done.

I don't know what my problem is at the moment. I'm bored and lonely and nothing seems worthwhile. I'm angry, deep inside. I feel like I have nothing in my life. Nothing that makes it worth getting out of bed in the morning and nothing that makes it worth keeping on going during the day. It is bloody awful. I try to manufacture things to make me happy but that doesn't work for long.

I need to get this sorted out but I can't see how. I don't want to go home, it isn't even my home. It's just a place I go to at the end of the day. I don't have anyone waiting for me. I don't have anything to do once I get there. So I run around all day to avoid having to face it, hoping that I'm so tired out by the time I get home that I just fall into bed and don't have to think.

There's no one I can talk to about it. I feel like I've worn out everyone's sympathy and now I just have to put on a smiley-happy face and make jokes. I'd really like a shoulder to cry on, someone I can be around and feel like I don't have to be strong. Someone who will be strong for me, just for a little while. Just so I can have a rest.