iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::24.7.05::

Compliments and Insults

About 6 or 7 years ago, I went to the pub with some friends for my birthday. At the end of the night we decided to grab a pizza and go back to one of the friend's houses to finish off the night. So my friend and I headed down the street to get the pizza then back to the pub to round everyone up.

I waited outside with the pizza while my friend did the rounding and as I waiting, the smell of the pizza beside me got very tempting. Bugger it, I thought and reached inside the box to get out a steamy, hot slice. As I started eating it, a guy walked out the pub door and saw me. He turned to his mate and said, "That's really what I want to see at the end of the night, a fat pig eating pizza." Yeah, nice one, huh?

I was thinking about this the other day. About the insults we get just for being overweight. They can be hurtful and mean and unjust. But you know something else, I wondered why I hold onto this stuff.

Every insult is like a small object, precious and spiky. I keep them all and every so often take them out and play with them. I know every nuance although the spikes hurt my flesh. Why don't I just throw them away?

You can bet there have been heaps of times when I've been at the pub and some guy has told me I'm cute or hot or have nice eyes - that's just the beer talking and it leaves my mind almost immediately. But when someone insults me, I don't dismiss that as drunken talk to be easily dismissed. It is a reflection of how the world sees me, at least in my mind, something I still remember and fret over years later.

I've got to stop this. It does no good. Hold on to the compliments, leave the insults behind.

# 4 comments * Post a Comment

Yes, I hate jerks like that guy. I had a recent experience just like that - only the @ss in question wasn't even drunk to excuse his rudeness. He wasn't looking while walking up crowded subway stairs - and I was going down. When he looked up, I was right near him, but walking around - and he cried out, "Holy Sh!t, go on a diet" - or something similarly charming. It's really ridiculous that someone behaves that way. An adult, nonetheless... I would never deliberately say something so hurtful to anyone (unless struck first, I should add - then watch out world!). I mean, do I gossip about the girl in too tight jeans with her thong hanging out - but never when she can hear me! That's just wrong.

Anyway, I hope you can put it beside you. It's not worth letting them get to us, though I understand how hard it is! Those who say things like this are just ridiculous, stupid, people - and I hesitate to call them people!

(hugs)

By Anonymous, at 1:42 am

That's just mean and not needed. I'm trying to lose 15kg that I stacked on after my wedding and I feel so self conscious of eating in front of others.

By Jezzy, at 12:05 pm

[I spun out that you commented on my page, because I was literally over here before - but needed to go to the shop before I commented. Wow! Glad to see another aussie here!!]

I hate comments like that. It's ridiculous people think just because we're overweight they're entitled to be rude to our faces. I guess because we wear our addiction/problem/instability so publicly on our body, people think they are just in reacting the way they do.

I like the analogy for insults, it's definitely how I see it. I think because we're so use to media, social, emotional negatively to the weight we feel that holding onto the pain is our punishment [or reward] for being overweight. It's taken a long time for me to love myself, I'm still learning how to accept compliments from people.

I remember I had a light bulb moment when I realise that I'm in control, not just of my weight but the way people effect me. I'm only insulted [and hurt] if I allow myself to be. Sometimes it catches me off guard and the sting of pain is easily remembered. But ultimately, I shouldn't give others that kind of credit.

I hope you learn to let go of the horrible insults, people normally lash out because of their insecurities. For most it's easier to pulls others down then to climb up to their level.

I'm sure you're a beautiful, intelligent person that could never be defined in a moment of stupidity like that or a single sentence. I will enjoy getting to know you ^_^

p.s. you're doing great so far, 15kgs is bloody awesome!

By Dee, at 4:41 pm

This is a great post and one which captures what I have been thinking about lately. Why do we hold onto the old stuff, why do we continue to carry around the negative. Well said. Geez and you would think that stuttering, stumbling, smelly, incoherent beer swilling drunk blokes would have a really good look in the mirror every now and again - but wouldn't do any good - they would be too drunk to notice how idiotic they look ;)

By Margaret, at 8:29 pm