[a weight loss story]
*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*
Still haven't managed to get on top of things but they are improving. I've dragged myself to the gym a few times and tried to not take out my unhappiness in food. I try to keep busy and that helps. I do a session at the gym and then walk home to keep the fat a' burnin'. That helps too. As a wise man once said, 'some days are diamonds, some days are stones.'
You know what is really bugging me at the moment. I've lost 10 kilos. That's quite a bit of weight, you'd think. But NOBODY has noticed. Well not literally nobody. Friends who know that I'm trying to lose weight have commented on it but I've not got that random acquaintance that you haven't seen for weeks comment on my smaller-ness.
In times past, I've lost a few kilos by accident and had people comment on it before I've noticed myself so why not now?
I'll 'fess up. I've even got in contact with old friends and suggested meeting up for coffee in the hope that they'll say something but no bites. Errrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhh!
I'm thinking a few things here:
1. Now that I'm losing weight, I've got rid of the old baggy clothes and have been buying stuff that is on the small side. No point buying stuff that is going to be too big in a few months, right? But, since my clothes are tigher, maybe that makes me look bigger.
2. All my friends are getting older and more senile. Maybe they just don't see that good now?
3. I just don't look like I've lost weight. Maybe I'm just imagining the difference in the way I look?
4. This is the biggy. Why the hell do I care? Why does it matter so much to me? I really feel like I need this validation and I'm not getting it. But I know I've lost weight, the scales say so, the measuring tape says so. Even the mirror says so. Maybe I just need to be less needy or something. I don't know.
Some might say its being self centered or attention getting but I think its completely normal. It would be like someone running their first marathon or discovering the cure for the common cold and no one even noticing. Its a great feat...thats why so many cant do it (or so they think) and havent done it. Maybe there should be tshirts made for such an event.
I can relate! What was hard for me for a bit was everyone exclaiming to Howie about his obvious weight loss, while not saying a word to me. He'd say what he'd lost, but I always felt like I'd sound like a needy whiner if I piped up with "yes, and I've lost xx pounds!". I was so jealous of him for a short while. I always am bragging on him to people, and I was a bit miffed that he didn't do the same. I felt really petty about even being bothered by it, but I was. It's hard to "compete" with someone who's lost 100+ pounds.
boobs: 100 cm
waist: 81 cm
hips: 109 cm
thighs: 50 cm
Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama
Week 1 - Drink more water
Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats