Help! I need a serious pep talk. I'm sliding into bad thoughts!

I feel so blah about everything. I've had a relapse with my flu so I still have not been able to start back on any exercise. I went for a walk the other night and that is the only exercise I've done in over 2 weeks. The next day I started feeling sick again. Not good.

I pigged out last night. I've been trying to keep my calories low so that I can still lose weight despite the lack of exercise. That's been going kind of okay until last night. I went to a friend's place for dinner and she made ham in coca-cola (a Nigella Lawson recipe) with roast vegies. It was pretty yummy. Then we had dessert, then more chocolates plus wine. Too much food.... arrrrgh!

I used to think that it was easier to not worry about watching the calories too much when I had dinner with friends - that if I don't eat too much and I've eaten well all week, then I could just sit back and enjoy myself. But I'm finding it not so. For one thing, I'm having dinner with friends on a more regular basis and for another, it is affecting my weight.

And lastly (deep breath) I went to the hairdressers (well hairdressing college training salon) last night with a definite idea of what I wanted. The hair style I wanted was shoulder length and shaggy - very soft and messy. The girl just cut my hair into a bob which is nothing at all like the picture I took in. Nothing.

Then her and her supervisor said they couldn't do the colour I wanted because of time restraints so I asked if they could just do an all over colour. Then somehow, someway, that I'm not really sure of, it ended up just being foils. I didn't want foils unless I was getting the rest of my hair coloured too. And instead of blonde they are a magenta red. It is a great colour but seriously does not look with my natural hair colour. I have a lot of grey in my hair at the moment and, instead of covering it, these highlights just make it more noticeable.

I hate everything about my hair. After she finished, she spent about half hour or more mucking around, styling my hair so it looked more like the picture I took in but it didn't work because the cut was nothing like the picture. I am so mad. She kept asking me if I liked and I pretended I did but I hate it.

I don't know what to do. Whether to go get it cut somewhere else or just leave it for the time being. I so absolutely did not want my hair cut in a bob. I spend ages looking for photos of hair styles that specifically weren't bobs. I just want to scream. It has no layers, it has no shagginess.

And I don't know what to do about the colour. Maybe I should go buy a semi-permanent colour and put that through my hair so that it tones it all in more. I dunno.

Maybe I should just wear my beanie everywhere for the next few weeks.

I am going to go to a real hairdressers next time. It ended up costing quite a bit of money and because it is the training college, I felt like I couldn't complain. If I'd gone to a real hairdressers then I would have made them fix the cut at least.

Every time I think about the groovy, blonde, shaggy hair I thought I'd have today, I want to cry. It is upsetting me so much. I don't want to have to go and spend more money getting it fixed but I also don't want to be seen with this hair. It is awful. Well maybe not awful but it is not what I wanted. Maybe I'm being stupid, but it is just so disappointing.

Then I did my weigh in this morning and I've gained weight.