[a weight loss story]
*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*
After my wrestling with the chocolate demons last week, I've been thinking about the whole concept of "binge triggers". It's a term I use and I know a lot of other people use too, but do they really exist?
For example, I'd say bread was a binge trigger for me. Every week, Andrew and I go to the market and we go halves in a loaf of Turkish bread. When I bring that bread home, I think to myself: I must have control otherwise I'll be a total pig and eat this whole half loaf in a day. And, inevitably, I do. But, this is the question I'm wondering about, do I eat the whole thing because it's a binge trigger and therefore one bite leads to another until it's all gone OR do I eat the whole lot because by labelling it a binge trigger, I've put the idea into my head that I WILL eat the lot and, by thinking that, I set myself up to do it.
When I walked into the office where I was working for the past two weeks, I saw all the chocolate sitting there and thought I must resist that otherwise I'm going to go back to my chocolate-pigging ways. I struggled so hard with that thought that resisting chocolate was a constant buzz in my mind. When I think about NOT eating chocolate, the possibility that I will eat chocolate becomes stronger. I guess it's like setting up a black/white situation. Or, more accurately, a suceed/fail or good/evil. It gets down to two sides and the more you think about "winning", the more you open up the possibility of losing.
When you think about it, I have chocolate available to me 24 hours a day. The shops are full of the stuff. But I don't panic about that. I don't spend my life thinking - I mustn't go to the shops and buy chocolate. I worked in an office most of last year with chocolate sitting in the kitchen. I'd see it everyday and ignored it 99% of the time. It was just seeing so much chocolate, so easily available that caused me to panic.
It's the same with the bread. When I first started getting the Turkish bread, I won't pig out on it. Sometimes I'd end up throwing some out because it had been in the fridge so long, it had gone rock hard. Then, one time, I binged on the lot. Now I expect to do that every time. But it doesn't have to be.
Our brains are weird things, aren't they? We have to be so careful what we put in them. I'm going to stop thinking about foods as binge triggers and, instead, think sometimes I overeat that food, but sometimes I don't. I'm going to focus on the times I've had self control rather than the times I haven't. I'm going to make my brain work for me.
Sory I missed you at the run today. Perhaps one day we could meet up and go for a walk. You could show me the "inner city" walks. Bummer about teh job. How on earth do you lose that much weight eating chocolate. I am soo envious. I am with you on the triggers issue. My mind plays funny tricks to and I find at times I just have to binge to get it out of my system and others I am not even tempted. About the lopsided thing.. not game to look as I am sure all of me is lopsided. Gave me agood laugh though.
I totally agree with you about setting yourself up to fail with binge triggers. I went to a lunch yesterday where I had to make something sweet (dangerous for a sweet tooth like me!) While I promised myself I wouldn't eat the leftovers (and didn't need them if I was going to lunch) I did it anyway. We are definitely our own worst enemies!
I am sure Bri and I commented on this post yesterday? Anyways, GREAT POST! I think you have hit the proverbial nail and let's face it, we all make these excuses time and time again. We've got to kick the bad habit.
Very insightful post. Really gives me food for thought.
when i am craving chocolate a lot, i let myself have about 300 calories worth ie 55 gram bar or something after dinner. But i try to set some rules so that i feel ok about it, i have to have done my exercise for the day, and eaten my dinner with vegies and low fat meal first. There is also the odd stress day where i have eaten a big lot of chocolate due to tiredness etc. but sometimes i have felt like i just need to have some chocolate and so i use the craving to say i can have some if i eat well and do everything else right, by eating it with a protein meal, the chocolate is even more low gi, so i find i do not keep craving sweets afterward. i sometimes crave chocolate just before i have a couple of weeks of eating very well and losing heaps of fat. i am not sure what sparks wanting the chocolate, but i think for me it might be a feeling of my body transforming, releasing, feeling a bit vulnerable as this happens. it is fascinating that you bring up that issue of what sparks it. Also fascinating that you craved chocolate just before losing a lot of body fat again. With all the running you are doing, you must be burning up heaps of cals so maybe your body does need some extra foods and the chocolate was just handy and free at work. But i can so relate to the emotional assoication of wanting to be appreciated and paid better at work, and then feeling i need to hold onto any small freeby or token of sweetness being handed out. You have given me "food for thought" about why i associate some foods with feeling cared for
By 2:42 am, at
boobs: 100 cm
waist: 81 cm
hips: 109 cm
thighs: 50 cm
Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama
Week 1 - Drink more water
Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats