[a weight loss story]
*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*
Why do I keep waking up so early? I need more sleep.
I've been thinking about my chocolate problems and am going to try a different approach. Instead of NOT eating chocolate, I'm going to let myself have some if I really want it. At the moment, I'm in a constant battle with my chocolate wanting self and maybe if I stop making such a big deal out of the whole thing, the issue will right itself. I mean, if I'm sitting at work all day thinking "can't eat chocolate, can't eat chocolate" then of course I'm going to want chocolate because it's the only thing on my mind.
As I said below, my class last night (Novel 1) was fun. I missed last week's class because RMIT told me the wrong start date so wanted to get there bright and early but at 5.00 my supervisor came over and asked me to work late. The deadline for the project we are working on is today and I'd suspected all day that I'd be expected to work until later but she never said anything until 5.00 and that really shits me.
I hate dealing with that shite and I did feel guilty because I'd come in late - I had to see my shrink in the morning. But then I remembered I'd work back until 6.45 the night before. It's frustrating too because she's so disorganised.
So anyway, I told her I couldn't work back late because I had a class so she asked me to stay until they got someone to take over my work so I could show them what to do. I agreed, thinking it would only make me a little late (my class is at 5.30 but I had to catch the train into the city and get there). The woman turned up to relieve me at 6.00. Meanwhile, my supervisor is sitting around complaining because IT have done stuff that means she can't do her work until later that night. I was thinking why can't she do my work for a while then so I can go instead of bitching about having nothing to do, although in fairness to her, she has been working until midnight every night on this project.
Then one of the guys came over and asked about some stuff he'd wanted done. She told him it had been completed hours ago. He was really impressed and told her how wonderful she was. Yeah right - she didn't bother telling him who'd actually done the work. Me. Arrrgghh.
Anyway, I finally got out of there and then the train was late and it was after 7.00 when I got to the city. I was tempted to skip class altogether rather than walk in over an hour late but I figure missing the first two classes is bad.
I walked in and the room was packed. I tried to slip in discreetly but ended up tripping over stuff and making a huge ruckus. Then realised the desks were in a horseshoe shape and the only free space was a desk sitting on it's own in the middle. Great. Luckily, I only had to wait a little while until the break.
I know one of the girls in my class so that was good - I had someone to hang out with at break time. There is a cafe in our building (called Coffee on Cardigan which amuses me) but I had no cash.
After the break, we workshopped some work. It's weird, for much of my life but especially when I was younger and studying fine arts, if my work was different to everybody else's, I'd just assume that it was worse, that I wasn't good enough. I had a brief moment of that while we were workshopping last night but then I realised that I'm doing something completely different to the stuff we were reading. Their writing was very dense and literary and I don't do that. It doesn't mean my work isn't as good, it just means it's different.
Writing classes can be strange. You know those dolls that talk - you pull the string and they say one of five or six random things - well when you workshop writing you get a lot of that. People seem to have a set of phrases they use and just keep repeating them. Then a whole bunch of other people in the class go mmmm and nod. It's like they all went to a "Talking about Writing" class and learnt what to say. I don't know how useful that is. I'd much rather get someone's raw reaction than a pat comment.
Our teacher seemed a little senile too - he asked my name about four times then told me to come up after class and add my name to a list of contact details but, when I went up after class, he didn't seem to know what I was talking about.
So tonight I have my other class - Industry Overview. That's more a big lecture style class. And since I can't go for to the gym after work, I'm going to go for a run now.
I hate bosses like that - they just have no concept of someone having a life outside of their job.
I love chocolate, really love chocolate and it has always been my biggest food problem - one of many but my biggest. I have chocolate every day and fingers crossed it seems to be keeping the cravings at bay. I only have one of those mini bars but I have it every night and it seems to have really controlled the choccie urges. I can so relate to your comment in an earlier post about wanting to give advice to others that are overweight. Very very hard to keep your mouth shut!!
You current working conditions sound awful. You are pretty good to hold your tongue and not tell them what u really think.
I totally agree about the chocolate thing. I think that the more I deny myself something, the more crap I stuff in there in order to try to satiate my craving when I should just have a mini bit of whatever it is and be done with it.
It's because you do something differently that your writing is probably better. Is it better for critics, or is it better for the reader? Sometimes these are worlds apart, but courses like that do help get a different perspective and can help solidify the belief in your own style.
I have some sort of sweet/choclatey treat every day. Sometime it's only 60 cals worth or a wee 70 cal biccy but if it keeps me going and stops me feeling like I am missing out.
I'm not the kind of person (anymore) that takes crap like that. I would have piped up and said something. Mind you a few years ago I wouldn't have had the balls. Maybe it comes with old age? hehe
Hi, found your blog through the LITS forums - I just read this post and had a wave of nostalgia! I was in good ol' Building 94 for 3 years (2002-2004) and how I miss it! Especially sitting in the cafe! Sigh.
By 2:47 pm, at
I'm with you on the chocolate thing. I love chocolate and as soon as I decided to just let myself have it when I want I found the cravings dissipated. I kind of go in waves where every day for a week or two I'll have a mini choc bar then I wont have any choc for a couple of weeks. I don't think it's doing me any harm.
Man, all this talk about chocolate (and then the stress of my mum), I ate 3 snickers bars yesterday! LOL, bad. Not even the best choc out there.
boobs: 100 cm
waist: 81 cm
hips: 109 cm
thighs: 50 cm
Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama
Week 1 - Drink more water
Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats