iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::2.3.06::

Call the circus...

I realised today, I'm a freak. Now this gets a bit personal but I'll try to keep it as nice as I can. See I was standing in front of the mirror at the gym with my legs apart, about to do some squats when I realised my "front bottom" is not symmetrical.

Here I am, thinking I'm single because of my obnoxious personality or my flabby gut when really it's because I've got a deformed vagina. Who'd have thunk it? Well not me cos for years my belly has hidden all my downstairs equipment.

So do me a favour... pretty please with a cherry on top... go put on something tight fitting and stand in front of a mirror with your legs apart. If you could put a spirit level along the line at the top of your legs and the bubble would NOT be centred, leave me a comment and let me feel less alone. We could even start a support group.

***

While I'm on the delicate subjects, chicks in g-strings should not bend over in the gym change room. Please. Especially when they are in the walkway. No avoiding that string up crack. Even a bare naked butt would be less offensive.

***

Weigh in tomorrow. I get to see how much damage the chocolate has done. I ate all my boss's chocolate today. The other night, the night she MADE me work late, she'd been to Haighs and bought a huge bag of chocolate. She put it on the filing cabinet and shared it around but didn't offer me any. Then, when my replacement arrived, she told her to help herself to chocolate. Maybe she assumed I'd help myself to some if I wanted but she'd asked everyone else and I'm not going to help myself to something without an offer being made. But, ha, she was away today and so I had some and I don't even care if I put on weight. It was so worth it. And anyway, her boss came in and told me to go home and not come back tomorrow so I'm not working there any more.

# 6 comments * Post a Comment

So, what? Did you get fired? Were they horrible about it or do they just not need the help anymore?

As for the other topic, I think I'm symmetrical but actually quite flabby! I once had a severe trim and was horrified to realised you can get fat there- and I had indeed gotten fat there!

By Lainey, at 8:41 pm

LOL< last week I forgot about underwear & wore a thong to workout. As I was changing back into work clothes, a lady walked in & I was so freaked out that she had to see my fat ass in a thong! I now have a 'spare' granny panty in my gym bag, lol!

BTW, I know our bodies are never symetrical, so it's not surprising that your hoo-ha is a little off. I have one boob that hangs lower than the other.

By Paige, at 1:35 am

This is probably too much information, but I actually have a vericose vein down there between the labia majora and the labia minora, so I ain't symmetrical either.

And someday years from now someone will find this comment while researching me for a job interview :) Hey there, future non-employers!

Actually, screw that, I'll just post this anonymously.

By Anonymous, at 7:36 am

LOL @ this post.

LOL even harder at anonymous!

I have never checked. But I do know that genitals lost weight.

Are you sure one lip wasn't just tucked away in your knickers better than the other one?

By The Candid Bandit, at 6:37 pm

Bwahaha, who the hell is symmetrical anyway!? If it feels good, it works, it does tricks and hell, it's all yours...who cares if it's symmetrical or not LOL :-) Hehe and I'm a g-string girl but not when exercising, how uncomfortable!

Sucks about the job but you're better off out of there. Some people are just plain bitches. What goes around comes around and you don't need to be in apart of that.

By Mary, at 8:57 am

Now see that's exactly why I DON'T go to the gym. Eeeeeooowww! Gross. I'll have to get back to you about the "abnormal" thing, i'll check it out for you and let you know. I'm pretty sure no-one would be symmetrical. Nothing else on our bodies is so why would that be. Plus I have war wounds from having a baby so mine isn't particularly eye catching anyway! hehe
Hope you're having a great weekend.
Bri

By Briony, at 3:16 pm