iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::26.8.06::

Fishy Business

Our fish was fantastic except for one little problem - it had bones in it. They lied to us through fish sign!

The whole reason we don't like fish, I'm pretty sure, is because when we were kids Mum would give us fish and tell us it had no bones in it then we'd start choking on a bone and she'd be like - shut up, there's no bones in this fish - and we'd be writhing around the ground, blue in the face and she'd tell us we were putting it on so we'd cough up a bone and show it her and she'd be like - oh maybe I missed one.

That is not a background conducive to enjoying fish.

So we'll try again next week but this time we'll get something that is safe like flake.

The bad, bad thing is that apart from the fish, my eating has been terrible. Binge City is where I'm living. I don't know why I'm doing this. You'd think I had all the head stuff figured out by now but that's not the case.

One thing I know is that lately if I start eating sugar, I find it hard to stop. It's not so much emotional eating as the sugar hitting me like crack cocaine. Once I get some in my veins, I'm jonesing for my next hit.

The other issue is that rather than eating to fill emotional needs, as I once did, I'm now eating to fill physical needs other than hunger. Mostly this need is tiredness. Once upon a time, I binged for many reasons but tiredness was never amongst them. If I felt tired, I'd have a nap. The Queen of Napping they called me. Now I feel guilty about napping - I should be at the gym or running or doing something, not goofing off. So I get tired then I deny my tiredness so I eat.

The third factor in this problem is that I had to skip breakfast to have my blood tests. You know all that stuff they say about not skipping meals because you binge later - it's all true. I've never been a meal skipper. I've never even been a snack skipper. The closest I ever came to a starvation diet was reading about them in Cleo. So missing a meal has put me out of sync and I'm overcompensating. And yes, it was only 2 hours without food and surely I could survive that but wah!

My motto for the rest of the week is to only eat when I'm hungry. No more random snacking. No more going to the shop for mint slice cornettos (man, those things are heaven - why did I never know about them before).

The thing is after my gain last week, I haven't got back down to my goal weight. And that sucks. The other thing is that when I got to goal, I hit it exactly - 70.0 kgs. I want to see a number starting with 6! And not 600 either.

My new goal is 65 kgs but I want to do it slowly. I want to tone and add muscle at the same time so it's got to be a slow process. I don't care if it takes until the end of the year, but I do want to get there.

# 7 comments * Post a Comment

I'm cracking up about your fish background over here, lol! Too funny ;) I love fish, but only if it is freshly caught by someone I love. I don't trust anyone else for some reason.

By The Relentless Reader, at 12:59 pm

Your fish story brought back those exact memories for me. I'm horrified that we both hate fish for the same reason. But at least now I remember why I don't like it.
Mint Slice Cornettos? Jesus, what next? Thankfully I don't like Mint Slices so i'm cool with that, otherwise I probably would have been running out (nah, actually driving out) to get one! haha
Hope you're having a binge free weekend!
Bri

By Briony, at 1:00 pm

Thanks for that post- makes me feel better cos I did the same thing yesterday. I eat sugar.. which resulted in more sugar eating, which led to yet MORE!!

I had bought some cheap, chewy sweets- that tasted disgusting, yet somehow managed to eat all 3 packets of them :S This was classic avoidance tactic, kept stuffing them in my gob to try to remove anxiety about some work I have to do.

My "diet" involves eating whatever I want.. but I do think I'll lay off the sugar from now on.

It is easy to sometimes go into the mindless eating trap, but I've just accepted that its going to happen occasionally- also identifying that it isn't hunger is half of the battle. At least I do it very rarely now, as opposed to very frequently ( before this health plan.)

I do the tired = must eat thing too- any ideas to stop it?

I'm trying to drink lots of water instead. Or just force myself to go to bed with a good book until I get out of the pattern. Mostly it is working.

By Anonymous GP, at 2:51 am

I so agree with yo uabout the fish. Hard to know what to buy. And I am the same with sugar acting on me like an addiction. Just one little bit and off I go. Good luck getting off the habit again.

By michelle, at 11:02 am

Tiredness is pretty much my excuse this week, too. Need to get myself settled in travel routines...

By Sue, at 12:17 pm

Toning is definitely the next step and stick with it. You won't notice change straight away but then your clothes will start slipping off even though your weight stays the same and THEN you'll see it working it's magic.

Sugar as crack cocaine? Hell yeah!

By Mary, at 6:04 pm

I'm completely bone-phobic and like you, that's why I've never been a fish person. Bad childhood memories :S

I think the same as you about the napping. I'm mind ticks away that i should be doing something more constructive but succumbing to an hour's kip does so much for me, mentally and physically.

By Ails, at 9:08 pm