I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm just not a happy little vegemite. I've been exercising well but my eating is like a runaway train and my mood has been the blahest shade of blah.

I think one of the problems is that that since I've stopped working, I need to get out of the house but getting out of the house usually means going to a cafe or somewhere like that and even if I choice wisely, the food is never as healthy as the stuff you make at home. I get frustrated with cafes because it seems like they are always trying to sneak baddies into your food - butter on the roll or a few chips on the side of the plate or fatty meat.

Last night we went to a gourmet burger place in St Kilda. I got a chicken burger and it was fantastic. The chicken was grilled so it was pretty healthy. The only problem was it had aioli on it. That stuff is so high in fat. I didn't realise until I got home and looked it up. What is aioli anyway? Is it like mayo with added lard? I don't even like the stuff but I didn't think to ask for it without. I need to be much more on the ball when I eat out.

The other thing is to NOT eat out so much. All calorific concerns aside, it costs too much money. Okay now and then but not all the time. Maybe I could make a nice sandwich or a salad and go to the park or somewhere and eat it. Then I'd be getting out of the house but not spending money. I could even pack a picnic lunch and go for a long walk.

Another problem is lack of sleep. I think sleep is just as important as eating well and exercise. But lately I've been neglecting that side of things. I must sleep more.

Oh yeah, plus I think I'm putting too many expectations on myself. Like if I go to a class at the gym, it's not enough to do the class any more. I have to stick around and spend time on the treadmill or the cross trainer. Then I feel bad if I do less than an hour of additional cardio on top of the class. Stupid, I know.

I think there are other issues too. Tonight I might have some quiet time and try an exercise that's worked well for me in the past. I actually got this from a writing book and it's fantastic if you have things that you need to dig out of the mire of your brain. You write a question at the top of the page then just freewrite for a couple of minutes answering that question without stopping to think about what you are writing. When you finish the first one you can keep going, digging further into things that come up. It's a lot cheaper than therapy anyway.