After my last post, I wanted to clarify that my friend isn't always so mean - she has paid me some lovely compliments - but sometimes those snide remarks come out. I've noticed lately it tends to when she's drinking.

It's hard at the moment because I know she's desperately wanting to lose weight. Not just for the wedding - I think the wedding has been a catalyst for her to realise that she's been putting on weight for the past couple of years. And, of course, having to try on dresses then parade them around a showroom filled with size 8 girls must be awful. A couple of times she hasn't wanted to come out of the change room.

What's frustrating for me is that she isn't the sort of person who accepts help easily. I've offered to help on numerous occasions and try to slip advice into conversations without being heavy handed about it. I'm starting to realise that being an example to follow works better than giving her advice - I guess we're all like that. I know I hate being given advice. Lately she's started drinking wine spritzers like I do. Because I usually only see these friends once a fortnight or so, if we go out to dinner I don't worry too much about what I eat. I just eat what I want and, since it's so infrequently, it doesn't matter too much. Now I'm wondering if that's being a bad example - that she sees me eating what I like and thinks I eat like that all the time.

Lately she's been reading information on weight loss on the net and some of the ideas she's got in her head are plain wrong. For example, that alcohol is metabolised differently by the body so you can't put on weight from alcohol. Don't we all wish that one were true!

She also thinks she doesn't need to change her eating habits because she eats healthy food. That might be true but healthy food can do damage. A huge bowl of toasted museli full of dried fruit might be a healthy breakfast but is still high in fats and sugars.

I guess the lesson for me in all this is to sit back and let her work things out for herself - to just be there rather than to take over.

***

Lately, being the end of the year and all that, I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions. For years I made the same three resolutions - to lose weight, to get out of debt and to work on my writing. Last year I got a bit more specific - I wanted to lose 10 kilograms this year and get my blood sugar levels stable, to finish my novel and submit 12 short stories, to save 10% of my pay and get out of debt.

Well a lot of unexpected things happened this year. I've mentioned before about the big financial disaster of early 2005 which resulted in me getting evicted from my house and basically hitting rock bottom. Despite that, I've achieved most of my resolutions.

I've well exceeded my healthy goals. Pretty clever of me to set my goal low - at the beginning of the year I figured 10 kilograms was something I could do and even a 10 kilo loss would make me healthier. I have to admit that I've been awful slack with measuring my blood sugar though - I need to go into the diabetes place and get strips for my blood sugar monitor and just keep putting it off. I know when my blood sugar is too high because I actually feel like my blood has turned into a thick, sugary syrup that flows slow through my body. I'm sure it's not nearly so dramatic but that describes perfectly the sluggish feeling I get - I used to get, I mean. It's so nice to ditch that feeling.

Financially I'm happy with the way this year has gone. I could have saved more, but that's always the way. I'm out of debt and that's the main thing.

And I've finished the first draft of my novel. At the moment I have a few people reading it and giving me feedback then I'll start on the next draft.

So, for next year:

I want to get to my goal weight (70 kgs) and then work on toning my body.

I want to save money and be in a comfortable position finanically. Being rich isn't important to me, but I'd like to have the reserves to go on a holiday if I so desire or get work done on my car. I really want to have a financial buffer zone in case I need to move house or have something unexpected happen.

I want to finish my novel and send it out to publishers. Ideally, I'd like to have it published. I am also applying to do a writing course next year.

I also want to do some things for me: To volunteer at Save A Dog - something I've been meaning to do for ages and to do life drawing class - something else I've been thinking about for a while.

Other than that, I want to have good times with my friends and family; I want to appreciate time on my own; to be open to making new friends; and I want to keep making progress on learning about myself.