iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::8.1.06::

Friends

Friendships can be rocky roads, of the bad non-icecream kind. It's an area where I've always had problems. Not so my sister. When we were teenagers, she was the kind of person who always friends calling her up, asking to do things or go places. With me, it was the opposite. I'd make plans with my friends and they'd call at the last minute and cancel.

As she'd go off doing her stuff, Mum would give me a pitying look then compensate by cooking us up a treat or giving me money to buy snacks. So I learnt food was my constant friend. So an eating disorder is created.

I'm having friendship issues at the moment. I've mentioned before that two of my best friends, Tim and Simon, are overseas. For the first six months or so that they were away, it was fine. I missed them of course but things were fine. Now it's summer and I keep thinking of the things we always do in summer - how they'd call up and say come over cos they'd lit up the bbq or they were going to the beach. I don't really have any other bbq or beach friends.

So how do I deal with that? Not by eating, that's for sure. I guess by finding other things to do with other friends. By making the most of my time.

It's funny. My sister is still the popular one. She's always at social functions or going on holidays with her friends. She is constantly busy. I guess when you have the belief that you are popular and that people will like you, you project those things out into the world and the world responds.

I guess I'm just feeling a bit down tonight. It's nothing serious and I'll be over it shortly.

# 9 comments * Post a Comment

Having friends isn't always easy, and having a sibling (esp of the same gender) to compare yourself with wouldn't help.

Could you join a new group or something? Mixed netball or a running group? If you do that in a bayside area there's every chance of beach and maybe more to follow.

Moving cities made me have a good think about how you collect friends. I suppose it starts with the kids of your parents' friends, then school, sport, work. That's how it's been for me anyway. I have never had to go out and make friends, it has just always happened. Then I moved and work didn't yield anything. That threw me and I guess I am still thrown, so I can empathise in this department. I am thinking of taking a class in something to meet like-mined ppl....we'll see!

Hope being a bit down passes soon. Try and keep in mind that in order to have ups, you need downs.

By CaramelKitKat, at 11:38 pm

At least you don't compensate with food anymore! And I bet the friends you have now thank their lucky stars that they know someone as lovely and loyal as you.

By Sue, at 8:46 am

I can completely understand where you are coming from and, while I can't think of anything to suggest at the moment, I hope you are feeling on the up and up soon.
Take care and look after yourself !
Me

By Me, at 9:06 am

When I was at school, I used to get bashed up a lot. Not for any particular reason other than the mean girls didn't like me cos I was too smart, the popular girls didn't like me cos I wasn't pretty enough, and the smart kids didn't want to know me cos I was from the big city. (an outsider!).
My mother used to make us a hot tea cake every afternoon after school, with cinnamon and melted butter on it. I don't remember much about the nastiness and stuff, only bits and pieces, but I still remember how good that teacake tasted.
Bri

By Briony, at 9:37 am

It is difficult with friends because you have to put yourself out there and take risks and know that you are worth having a friend. I understand all to well. Keep smiling and try to be positive and keep being good to yourself. That is amazing about your running at ALbert Park. I am thinking about doing the run as well but know I cannot run very far. I do 4km run/walk in 30 mins and it kills me /But I think I want to try to do the 14 km beacuse I think it would be amazing. I guess if we keep training we will get there.

By michelle, at 11:27 am

*hug* if I ever get to melbourne I'll be your beach friend - or we could do a buffy marathon ;D

Very true@ projections and the world responds. Someone once told me to keep close the friends I made in High School, because it's really really hard to make new ones who'll stay or make such an impact on life after it.

My friends were bitches - I finally got rid of all their toxicness and I now know what they mean about how hard it is to find new friends.

I think it's a good idea to ring up other frinds and hang out, I hope you feel better soon

By Dee, at 12:44 pm

Hey babe, your my friend now and if I was down in Melboure, we'd have to go for cocktails (the spirit laden, no fat kind)! I totally understand where you're coming from, as I have a sister like that too and this is a common trait for us creative types. You're a great chick you know and I hope to meet you one day when I am down in Melbourne :-)

By Mary, at 1:04 pm

Moving from State to State as a child put paid to any lifelong friends, and moving away from family and being in a new state does make it very difficult. The only way I made friends here was to get knocked up and meet other likewise knocked up people. Lucky for me they turned out to be a great bunch and we regularly meet up 4 years later. However, no others. Other than the bloggers that I am slowly working my way through meeting.

I hope you bounce back soon. I understand how lonely it can feel when thinking about friends (or family) who are not here to share habitual haunts with. :) *hugs*

By Margaret, at 1:29 pm

I understand what you're saying because I was in a similar place not that long ago. I made some progress toward having more friends by joining a womens' volunteer organization and other volunteer opportunities. By putting myself out there for causes that I felt passionately about, I found like-minded people and also gave myself more purpose. Perhaps there's something similar you could do?

By Denise, at 4:24 pm