iDiet

[a weight loss story]

*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*

::4.1.06::

Love

Way, way back in my day, lots of insults would get thrown around the school ground - scrag, moll and the one the boys at our school loved to us that we never really understood - ya frigid slut. But definitely, growing up in Australia in the '80s, the worst insult you use was that someone loved themselves - they had tickets on themselves or you'd tell them to go find a ladder so they could get off themselves. Heaven help the girl who had self-esteem, she'd soon be cut down to size.

Nowadays of course, we have people like Oprah and Dr Phil to help us understand that loving yourelf is the greatest love of all. Self-love (of the non-physical kind) is a huge thing. There are racks and racks of books in Borders dedicated to the subject.

But how do you love yourself? I have days when I think I'm the bee's knees - that I pity everyone else for not being me. But I also have days when I am the most wretched creature alive. It really is a lot of work actually liking yourself day in and day out - having belief in yourself, that you are good enough. That you are enough.

And in the end, that's what's most important isn't it? I mean it doesn't really matter what the scales say or what size clothes you wear. You have to like what you see when you look in the mirror.

I think that's a bad thing when you have been brought up to be self-depreciating - to focus on your faults and defects rather than your strengths.

I'd be interested to know what works for people. What do you do to make you feel good about yourself?

you know....

i always used to think i'd love myself when i got to goal... but i got there and then nothing had changed i was still the same person with the same problems....

i agree we should love ourselves for what we are not what we want to be... i mean how can we expect others to love us if we don't love ourselves

By Anonymous ali, at 11:26 am  

Hmmhmm good point, i'm not really sure i'm there yet. I like myself a lot better than I used to. I think we all have issues whether they're up front ones or those dastardly deep down ones, that stop us from really truly loving ourselves.
My little boy helps though, I know that he absolutely loves me unconditionally and that makes me feel much better about myself!
Have a great 'thought-provoking' day! LOL
Bri

By Blogger Briony, at 11:35 am  

I have those exact same days, the ones where I can strut and feel confident and look people in the eye when we cross paths and I can feel like I'm so horrible yuck that I can't let human eyes see me.

I have ups and downs and like you've mentioned it's not specific to overweight people. Everyone has it.

I don't do anything in particular, sometimes I can feel so sexy in makeup and an outfit and the next time like nothing is going right and all I see is bumps.

That being said tho, I can wake up and feel absolutely beautiful. Just.The.Way. I am.

I'm not talking about weight wise (because I know I need to be at least for health reasons, smaller and healthier), but there is just a calm in me knowing that I am enough, that I don't need to validate why I exist or who I am, I just am.

Lucky those days are coming more and more with building confidence. The luckiest people in the world? Yea, they're the ones that can see the perfection in their flawless and the beauty of existing.

By Blogger Dee, at 12:00 pm  

I love this post. Love it.

In my humble opinion, I believe this is the absolute ticket to weight loss success.

(stuggling with it myself)

Thanks for posting, I'm off to link to you...

By Blogger Beckie, at 1:50 pm  

SO, so true...i dont even think i come close to likeing myself...but it is more than the weight loss we will achieve this year, it will be the acceptance of ourself, the confidence that comes with it (or at least this is my hope) I love the drawing u did...very cute...of and how was narnia, i'm dying to see it (read all the books when i was little

By Blogger laura, at 2:41 pm  

It's unfortunate that what i see in the mirror and on the scales determines how i rate my entire life and myself. I actually love everything abuot my life except my problem with my weight and it somehow effects everything around me. Ultimately i wouldn't want to be anyone else in the world but me...just a skinny version of me ;) I suppose i do love myself a little - only just a litte.

By Blogger Madamx81, at 3:49 pm  

Good question. I find the whole self love thing a little difficult sometimes. But most of the time I have a lot of respect for myself because I can only work with what I got. But in saying that, I am also my own worst critic. If I am tired (like now) I can get a little depressed and irrational about EVERYTHING. I like to think I have a balance though especially now that I've done a lot of soul searching over the past year.

By Blogger Mary, at 8:36 pm  

Whoops, you asked what do you do? Umm...take time out and say NO to people. Take a day off and only do things for myself, nice things. I find that helps me.

By Blogger Mary, at 8:37 pm  

Excellent topic Kathryn. And Beckie is right. This is the only ticket to MAINTAINING a succesful weight loss.

Well, I did (and still do) therapy to take the courage and first expressed the anger, then admitted the self punishment through food, finally all the hatred and disgust about me and my body, and then, slowly I begun to see me, like me, and finally love me.

Im not totally there yet.

But I have found that getting physical with myself really does the trick.

Long baths, manicures, new shirt, touching my body with love when I put moisturising lotion, all of them and more that actually is nothing but taking care of myself the way I take care of someone I love. These are my tools, along with grocery shopping for organic food, or walking for exercise, cooking for me, etc.

right...huge comment...bye ;)

By Blogger Silverella, at 9:50 pm  

For me it is about forgiving the man who could of been a father to me, but instead chose to ignore and dislike me. As a child i know i interpreted his dislike of me, as me being unworthy of any love. I thought i was so ugly, so awful that it was my fault. That was the way i kept my love for him despite his having no love for me. i cried tears of rejection for a long time but that gave me no peace. Later i cried tears for him, his lonely life, devoid of love in his heart, and i felt so sad for someone who without love had nothing. Despite his money troubles, and his drinking and whatever else, i could of been the little girl that lit up his life and made it all worthwhile and bearable. After i cried a lot of tears for the sadness of his pain and his life, i no longer felt i needed to pretend i was so terrible just to keep loving him despite the rejection. i guess you could say, for me it was about forgiveness. It was also about letting out some anger about the situation, by using the kick bag, poetry etc. Plus the letter writing technique where you tell them the things you wish you could have, but do not send the letter. i had to realize i could never have his love, but i could keep loving him and love myself by realizing the extent of his problems. Then in my mind i send teh little child that i still am inside my own heart, the biggest hugs and love, and tell her she is beautiful and brave, and she was here to learn to love herself without the need for approval from another. I see her spirit shine with the struggle and then i let the tears of release out, and those tears make me feel beautiful in my heart. And each time i get to the core repressed anger and release some, i find that i start to attract people who treat me with a bit more respect. Man, its an ongoing healing to believe we deserve love. But at least people nowadays, have access to lots of healing meditaions, and self help books and processes. i plan to implement a few of Tony Robbins techniques this year, to furthur the self belief empowerment. I am glad you bring up these issues, as i think this could be a great year for delving a bit deeper for all of us.

By Anonymous Barbara, at 11:04 pm  

bloody cracker of a post!

self-acceptance is a daily struggle, but one i win most days now. i think i take the Argy-esque route to self love. like a l'oreal commerical, really.

By Anonymous dietgirl, at 2:28 am  

Like you said, there are days I think I'm wonderful and I really like the person I am. I'm usually very nice to everyone but, it's hard work being nice all the time. Very rarely I get mean spirited about someone, and then I'm shocked at how much pleasure I get from slagging them!! Yikes. Obviously I'm not as nice as I think.

Here's something to send to your friends:

It's hard to find a friend who's..
96% Funky
98% Loving
99% Talented
and
100% Sweet
so......
don't lose me, okay.

By Blogger Haloranch, at 7:50 am  

 

stats:

current weight:
76.6 kg

start weight:
110.1 kg

total loss:
33.5 kg

goal weight:
70 kgs

 

measurements:

boobs: 100 cm

waist: 81 cm

hips: 109 cm

thighs: 50 cm

 

Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama

Week 1 - Drink more water

Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats

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