I hope everyone enjoyed their celebrations last night. It's great to see so many people back blogging - I missed you guys over the holidays. We went to the Tote to see some bands last night. It was stinking hot so ended up sitting in the beer garden most of the night, which was fun - lots of friendly folk to chat too. The freaky thing was that one of my son's friends was there - way to make me feel old. We went into the sauna-like heat of inside to watch The Spazzys who were great, then back outside for a while then to a bar near home for a final drink. I drank too much but too too much - and did drink lots of water so am not too badly hungover today.

I thought I'd do a recap of 2005, like so many others.

Last year didn't start off well for me. I do temp work and had some problems with my agency at the end of 2004 and then the lack of work over Christmas made things worse. So I started the year with no money and lots of debts. I'd had to go on the dole just before Christmas and that only covered my rent with nothing over!

Mid-January, I got some work but it was the most awful job. I rang my agency several times to see if they could get me something else and was basically told to quit whinging - I'd worked with the same agency for nearly 2 years and never complained about an assignment and had every client love me before that so I figured I had a right to complain. Basically I'd go into work every day and they'd give me nothing to do - if I asked for work, they'd give me some little task then ignore me. I was going insane and trying to find things to do - offering to help the staff etc. Then one day, this horrid woman I worked with (ie not my boss) abused me for being lazy and not wanting to work. I was upset and walked out, intending to go back and have it out when I got back but then just kept walking. I got a call from my agency on the way home and they wouldn't even listen to my side of things.

Meanwhile I'd gotten behind on my rent, having decided things like bills and food were more important - it's so hard when you have to decide between having electricity or a roof over your head but I figured I'd be working soon and could catch up. Stupidly, I didn't ring my real estate agent and tell them that. At the time, I kept thinking I'd be working again soon. Then I got a summons to go to court over the back rent. I rang the agents and told them I wanted to get everything fixed up. They told me to get to court early on the day and they'd figure out a payment plan but we had to do it at the court so it could be all legal-like to protect both parties. So I left it at that.

I'd gotten some work though another agency by the time the court date came and had to chuck a sickie to go to the court appearance cos no way was I going to ask for time off to go to court. I also had an interview for a long term IT role that morning. I got to the court, thinking it would be a 10 minute thing. The guy from the real estate agent told me that they'd decided not to let me made a payment arrangement because they wanted me OUT. I was shell shocked. Not only had they lied to me, but I'd not even tried ringing anyone like the Tenant's Union because I hadn't realised I'd actually need to go into the court.

We got into the court and the judge was a total bitch. I know a bit about the law - I studied law subject in uni - but she spoke in incomprehendible legal talk and made me feel like an idiot, a law-breaking idiot. She wanted documents that I didn't have and showed absolutely no sympathy. I still feel so angry that I was lied to by my agency and that she treated me like that.

I got out of the court and was a mess. Then I got home and my temp agency called and said that the people I worked for didnt' want me back. I lost it completely and couldn't stop crying. I had no idea what to do.

The next few days, I was in a daze. I had so much to do but had no idea where to even start. I had to get all my stuff moved and find somewhere for me to live and for Andrew to live and no money and no job.

Friends offered to let me stay with them and my sister said she'd loan me any money I needed so I organised to put all my stuff in storage. At least I had a plan of action. There is one thing that really hurts me from that time - a friend was going overseas for a month and she asked someone she hardly knew to housesit for her knowing my situation. I know that she had no obligation to help but it would have meant so much and I know I would have offered my home to her if the situation was reversed.

The one thing that changed in my life during this time was the way I dealt with my problems. Every tiny little upset in my life had me reaching for the chocolate or the pizza, but instead I started exercising and eating right instead. If I was upset, I'd go for a walk. I started losing weight because my mum and sister were going to Weight Watchers and I wanted to prove I could lose more weight then them on my own. And it was like something clicked within me.

Andrew and I moved in with my friends. It was so wonderful of them to let us because they were in the midst of packing up their house to move overseas so the last thing they needed were house guests. Disaster happened again in the process of moving - my car broke down. It got all dodgy and would start sometimes and not others. Just want you need when you are househunting.

Househunting was hard. I had to decide if I wanted to move with Andrew or find separate places. I had been told I'd go on a Bad Tenants register so thought I had no chance of being able to rent a place through a real estate agent. Andrew had started uni and had been travelling for over an hour each way to get there and back so I wanted to find him somewhere close to uni. I figured the best thing to do was find us both share places to live but that involved a lot of running around. It's hard enough to find a place for one person, let alone two. I got some more temp work which was great financially but made house hunting even harder. I really didn't to stay with my friends any longer than necessary either.

Then things started going right - I got the long term IT job I'd had the interview for and it was really good money. We went and looked at a couple of places for Andrew - I had a bad feeling about the first couple then we went to a nice place (well he went in, I figure you don't want your mother going in looking with you). He came out of the nice house and said he liked it and had told them he'd call them back. But he'd missed out on a couple of places with his dilly-dallying so I went back in with him and asked if we paid the bond money on the spot, could he have the room? So we got that sorted.

The next day I looked at a few places. One was a dodgy set up - you rented the room directly through the owners with no bond, no lease. The house was nice but I was worried about how secure it was. They rang me back that afternoon and said I could have the room. It was $110 a week including bills (I think the owners don't want anyone to know they are renting out rooms cos they are ripping off Centrelink and/or the Tax department so want no record of anyone living here) I had many reservations but I was desperate and it was cheap so I said I'd take it. At least with no bond, it would minimise the money I had to borrow from my sister. And no lease meant I could look for something better. I'm still living there by the way and not had any issues with security although I did go buy the biggest-arsed padlock for my room the day I moved in!

I moved in and started work. I had nothing - no tv and no computer. The house had no phone lines so even if I had a computer, I couldn't get internet. I had basically nothing. First up, I didn't even have a cord for my stereo - Andrew had packed it and forgot the cord. When we moved we'd packed what we needed and left the rest. I figured I wasn't getting my bond back and was so mad at the agents and the owners of my old house that they could deal with the mess. Of course, half the stuff I left behind, I regret now but what can you do?

At work, I discovered we were paid monthly - arrggh! So when I started, I worked for 2 weeks and got paid for that then worked for another 4 weeks before I was paid again. That was pretty brutal. I'd not been worrying about my weight while I was in transit. There is only so much you can do living with other people. But after I moved, my car when completely insane with not starting so I walked everywhere. I found a gym nearby that had a $4 casual rate and started going there. I'd walk down to the internet cafe so I had some online access.

Gradually, I started getting my life back together - I got my car fixed, I bought a cheap secondhand computer from a shop nearby (and had a few trips carrying the bugger back and forth, it's a heavy machine!). I bought a tv and a dvd player but over the months without it, I got out of the habit of watching tv. I still rarely watch it and mostly use it for watching dvds. I found out about iBurst internet - a wireless service that you don't need a phone line for - and got that set up. I love the internet. Having the internet back, was one of the happiest events in my year. I actually began having money to spend on non-essentials like clothes.

After that, most of the year was spent going to work, going to the gym and bumming around. I began pushing myself harder with exercise - walking the 5.5 km home from work and signing up for fun runs and doing spin classes. I began going to the market every week with Andrew to get all my vegies and meat. I got to know lots of lovely people in the online bloggers community too. I had a few setbacks like the worst case of flu I've ever had in my life and straining my lower back but nothing has stopped me.

And that was basically that until November when my contract ended. Since then I've been taking it easy. I'll have to go back to work soon but have been spending time writing. It's so nice to not have the responsiblities that weighed me down at the beginning of the year - having to make crippling rent payments for a start, and knowing that Andrew is growing into a responsible young man who can care for himself, even if the state of his bedroom leaves me in despair. I think our relationship has grown stronger since he moved out. It's weird - I always believed that he should clean up after himself and contribute to the work around the house but now I go visit him and want to clean his room. I stopped doing that when he was about 8 years old.

Yesterday I caught myself thinking that if I'd worked harder in 2005, I could be at my goal now but I shooed that thought out of my head. There is always more we could do but sometimes you have to accept that you have done enough and leave it at that. I lost 30 kgs, got my blood sugar and cholestrol levels from dangerously high to within the normal range, surpassed what I ever thought I could do physically and survived what I really hope is going to be the toughest shit life can throw at me. I've discovered I have friends who are there for me in the bad times - Tim, Simon, David - who have been the best support ever, my sister who I've bitched about since ... well since the day she was born really but who went out of her way to help.

Enough of the mush. I'm going into 2006 invincible and know we'll all be whipping butt this year.