iDiet

[a weight loss story]

*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*

::26.3.06::

Blair Witch Wedding

I've just got back from my friend's wedding. It was mostly good and I enjoyed myself until the end of the evening. Then I was introduced to my friend's aunty. I was stirring my friend (the bride) about having kids now she's married and the aunty turned to me and patted me on the stomach and asked when mine was due.

Bam! She may as well have punched me in the stomach. I felt devastated. To hear that just tore me to shreds. It was like every insecurity I had came to the surface and I felt like all the work I've been doing for the past year was for nothing. Maybe I don't even look that much better? Maybe all the compliments are just because people know I've been dieting and they want to be polite.

She apologised but what can you do when someone says something like that? I told her it was okay and she apologised some more then told me how someone had done the same thing to her once and she felt awful for days. I don't get that - surely if you've been through an experience like that, you'd be a helluva lot more tactful in future.

The reception ended and my friends all headed off to the after party but I just wanted to disappear. I had to get the key to our caravan so I couldn't sneak off as quietly as I hoped, but I didn't want to tell anyone what had happened.

I started on the 20 minute walk back to the caravan park feeling like shit. I'd been walking for a while and got to a playground. Every other time we'd walked back, we hadn't passed a playground. I don't know what I'd done but I kept walking figuring I'd get back to a main road eventually and find my way from there. It was such a dark night and, since we were in the country, there were no street lights or anything like that. I just walked and tried not to think of horror movies or things jumping out of the trees beside the path.

Every other time we'd walked, the lake had been on our left. Suddenly it was on my right. But the lake was long and narrow and our caravan park was built around the tip of it. I figured so long as I followed the lake, I'd get back eventually.

Then I got to a path that divided the lake with trees each side. It was so dark, I could hardly see in front of me but there was a main road on the other side. As I walked onto the path, a whole flock of ducks rose off the lake, quacking and squarking. I screamed but stopped myself from running. If I ran, I'd panic.

I got to the road and had no idea where I was. I saw a couple of people walking and waved them over, asking for directions. They told me to go back the way I came. So I headed off again, not sure where I was going but knowing I hadn't seen the caravan park.

I took a different turn and the track got even darker. I couldn't see the ground in front of me and the only way I could tell I hadn't veered off into the parkland around me was the sound of gravel crunching under my feet. I had to switch off my mind, ignoring the russling of the trees and the animal noises and the absolute dead quiet, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I came to another playground and I realised I was totally lost, miles from anywhere. I didn't have my mobile phone and my friend's were all drunk at party somewhere. No one was going to help me. No one even knew where I was. I sat on a bench and lit my last cigarette. I just wanted to be home, safe in my own bed with my doona wrapped around me but home was over 200 kms away.

I thought about curling up somewhere and sleeping until morning but it was freezing cold and I was only wearing my party dress. I had to keep walking even if I walked all night. I wasn't sure if I was walking in circles and missing the caravan park by metres because it was so dark or if I'd gone miles off track.

Eventually I had a feeling I should get off the path and take a shortcut even though all my common sense that was the stupidest thing I could do. I did it and came into a clearing and saw a road and the lights of the caravan park in the distance.

I made it back okay but very shaken.

The next morning I told my friend what happened and they thought it was hilarious. Normally I'd joke along with them but it just wasn't funny. It was like the Blair Witch Project come to life. I couldn't wait to get out of that town this morning and I don't ever want to go back.

OMG!!! YOU poor thing!!! That sounds soooooo scarey. EEEK I would have been S#*(&$INg myself!

:) I'm glad you made it safely back tho.

PS Don't worry about the comment. Some people were just born with their foot in their mouth. Just think about how fit and fabulous you feel!! This has all been worth it, and you are doing fabulously. You are the exercise queen, and a great inspiration for me.

:) Take care
A

By Blogger Ang, at 4:44 pm  

That has always been my biggest fear. That someone would think I was pregnant. I NEVER ask someone when they are due. I waituntilthey volunteer that they are pregnant before I open my mouth. It is hurtful to just assume.

By Blogger Laura, at 4:45 pm  

Someone asked me the same thing the last time my band did a show. I just wanted to punch him. It also happened at my grandmother's funeral last year. It really sucks and just shows that some people have no idea. Try not to let it get to you, even though I know how hard that is. You have come such a long way and it's ridiculous that one comment from someone you hardly know, or don't know at all, can just bring everything crashing down to rubble.
I can't believe you made it back to the van park, I would have been a crying mess. I'm so glad you did though!
Blame it on the Aunty, if she hadn't said that to you, you wouldn't have walked.
Hope you have a great and positive week. Try to put it behind you hun.
Bri

By Blogger Briony, at 4:52 pm  

That's terrible Kathryn. You were very brave to leave by yourself. It's horrible enough being lost when your driving let alone on foot. You did well to keep it together.

You've got to love the 'when are u due comments' hey? All your hard work does show. You weigh 74 kilos - nearly at goal. That is really fantastic.

By Blogger linda, at 5:11 pm  

First - ignorant cow, I don't think I'd have been as nice about it as you!
Second - what a bizarre night. I bet you had the most surreal 'how did I get into this' feeling. I'd have been scard stupid.

By Blogger Sue, at 8:02 pm  

how scarey you poor thing. You did well to keep your head and find your way. Ignore the comment, no way do you look the same as 1 year ago, stupid woman.

By Blogger michelle, at 9:38 pm  

I can't believe someone would say a comment like that. I am SURE you don't look pg! *thinking* have I seen a pic?? I mean we are the same weight and I would curl up and cry if someone said that to me!

By Blogger Angie, at 10:12 pm  

Oh.

My.

Fucking.

God.

My worst night mare come to life.

My heart is pounding through my chest. I cant imagine how you felt.

By Blogger Beckie, at 2:18 am  

and that was just the pregnancy comment *wink*

No seriously, the dark, the quiet, the scaryness.

But I also cant bleive some people have their foot in their mouth like that. 74 kgs. HELLO, You'd be a HOT pregnant woman at that weight.

By Blogger Beckie, at 2:20 am  

It is absolutely not your fault that some moron made a comment like that. It has nothing to do with how you look (though my guess would be that you're "busty", because even more than a tummy, it makes people think you're expecting) but the truth is, it doesn't matter what *you* look like, physically. The only time it's appropriate to comment is when the mom-to-be brings it up herself, OR when you can see the baby crowning. Other than that, zip it, people.

About the night time adventure, sweet jesus, it's absolutely my worst nightmare. I'm so afraid of the dark, and I'm obsessed with scary movies and books; not a great combination.

breathe!

By Blogger Mia Goddess, at 3:31 am  

oh, bless your heart, that totally sucks when someone says that! I'm also sure you DON'T look preggers, but your line of conversation (re: young'uns) was what made the woman think you might be expecting.

to hell with her! I tell you, the scary night in the forest sounded about a million times worse! what a rough night! shudder, take a deep breath, and put all that garbage behind you. you just keep on keeping on witcha bad self!

By Blogger Wendy, at 7:26 am  

So glad you made it back safely!

I'm sure Aunty was drunk, and I know she was stupid. But I'm sorry you had to endure that situation, all the same.

By Blogger Zara, at 12:49 pm  

Oh my god, that sounds exactly like something I would do. I have been so choked up about a remark like that and walked off only to find half an hour later I had no idea where the hell I was. I would be so terrified too. Glad you made it through okay, but what an ordeal!
Hope you're better now. :) Sarah

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 1:34 pm  

OMG you are seriously one funny girl! I am so sorry but I can't help laughing because it sounds like something I would do too LOL :-) The main thing is that you are back home now away from any yukky stuff. People who don't know you shouldn't make such speculative comments! Stupid cow. Just remember how far you've come babe and know that you are looking and feeling better than ever! Keep up the great work.

By Blogger Mary, at 2:59 pm  

OMG I so feel for you right now. What an absolutely bloody stupid thing to say. And it happened to her she should know better. Sorry to be a bit harsh...but really....I can hardly believe anyone would say that without knowing for sure.

You have lost nearly 40 kilos for crying out loud!

I hope your not dwelling on it and are remembering that you only weight 74 kg right now (I would love to be that light)

really sorry it turned out to be crappy in the end

I got goose bumps reading about your walk home too...don't tell anyone but I think the whole scary quacking ducks on the lake thing would have made me pee in my giant knickers!

By Blogger A Girl Running, at 4:20 pm  

Oh sweetie, I'm so glad this wedding is behind you. Too many sucky aspects. I've had the pregnancy comments twice now, and once I weighed 130 lbs! A pregnant-looking belly runs in all the women of my family, so I'm surprised I've only gotten it twice.

Anyway, you survived a scary night, and you should feel proud of yourself for not running, panicking, and turning into a shriveling pile of crazy person, as I surely would have. It just goes to show how strong you are.

By Blogger totegirl, at 6:08 pm  

holy freaking BLAIR WITCH batman! that sounds awful. especially since teh aussie bush is always so full of crazy animals making crazy noises!

ohhh and that comment too... urgh. but as everyone's said, you are svelte and inspirational and oh... i wish people thought before they spoke!

By Blogger Shauna, at 2:21 am  

F&^%*K. I am sitting at home and I'm scared now. I just need to go and check the doors... Back again, sorry it took so long - decided to fix myself up a bourbon... Well you did mention drinks LOL

Glad you made it back safely and in one piece. That comment was tactless, rude, inconsiderent and just stupid. She was probably drunk and didn't have her glasses on too. Was she cross-eyed???

By Blogger M, at 9:57 pm  

inconsiderent???? Me thinks me drank too quickly :D

By Blogger M, at 9:59 pm  

 

stats:

current weight:
76.6 kg

start weight:
110.1 kg

total loss:
33.5 kg

goal weight:
70 kgs

 

measurements:

boobs: 100 cm

waist: 81 cm

hips: 109 cm

thighs: 50 cm

 

Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama

Week 1 - Drink more water

Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats

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