iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::20.1.06::

More updates...

I sent an email to my date from last night and I'd like to see him again ... got a very lukewarm response back so I guess that is that. Especially since all his previous emails have been quite effusive.

Between that and not losing weight today and this damn heat, I'm feeling rather lacklustre.

It bugs me when I don't lose and I'm not being that bad. Sometimes I get that bad voice saying well I might as well go on a killer binge if I'm going to gain anyway. I went to the market with Andrew this morning and did get some chocolate fruit and nut mix then I looked at the cakes and bakery treats and the voice was saying - go on, have some, this week is write off anyway and I can make it up next week. But I resisted. Well actually, I did think 'why not?' then looked at the cakes and bakery treats and decided they were so crash hot anyway. I did overindulge ... in plums and strawberries and apricots and nectarines. How much am I loving apricots at the moment? Damn they are good.

Oh yeah, funny thing happened yesterday. I was on my way to the gym and for a while I've wanted new workout clothes. I have two pairs of trackies but one pair looks awful - they are thin and clingy - and the other pair is thick and fleecy and they get very uncomfortable when I sweat. So on the way I went into K-Mart. I looked at the trackies then at the shorts. I've seen some of the people at the gym in shorts with leggings underneath so I thought maybe I could do that.

But I wandered around for ages thinking I can't wear that look - me in shorts? What am I thinking. The inner voices battled in my head - the "Mum" voice saying I'd look stupid and the other voice saying it would be a sensible option esp for Spin class. Then I held the shorts up against me at the mirror to see how they would look.

I had to laugh when I realised what I was wearing - a short denim skirt with 3/4 tights! The skirt I had on was shorter than the shorts I was too scared to buy. So yeah, I bought the outfit.

As for the date, I'm disappointed but not devastated. I think it can be hard in when things like that happen to not see it as MY failure - that I did something wrong, was too much of something or didn't do enough of something else or TOO FAT. I've done that in the past and it's just stupid obsessing, so that in the end it doesn't become about the guy but some kind of crazy test of whether I'm acceptable or not. But screw that. I went out, I was my most charming and honest self... I did end up showing a little cleavage too... any loss is his. And he was wearing a most daggy outfit.

# 10 comments * Post a Comment

Never mind! It wasn't meant to be. If he was wearing daggy clothes then he obviously wasn't good enough!!! :P

Keep smiling, and I'm glad you didn't have an all out binge, cause imagion how much harder that would have made next week!!

By Ang, at 8:03 pm

Daggy Clothes! I would have left at once!

On another note - there is CFP out for Meanjin...thought you may be interested to know.

By Lucinda, at 9:31 pm

I read somewhere that if they make no effort with their clothes etc on the first date, then they are not really worth worrying about as far as romance goes ie they make no effort then not good enought!

Still it is nice just to get out and about, and it is all good practice for if you meet someone nicer in future.

Apricots are so low in cals, and so good for you, We are very lucky living in this land of lovely fresh food. Maybe you did not lose on scale this week, cos your body is holding a pound or two of stress weight from the date and the extra paid work you just did. Hope you see continutation on scale soon.

By Anonymous, at 9:57 pm

So glad you got the nice workout clothes - it's like a reward for all of your hard work (which you totally deserve)!

By Denise, at 5:33 am

I'm with Lucinda...daggy clothes on him, forget about it :-) I think it's great that you went out anyway and gave it a go. You should feel empowered by that alone. You're a great gal and well done on NOT binging. Binging on fruit doesn't count. Mmm, apricots. I haven't had them in ages. Will look around for them. LOL at the clothes dilemma because I wear a mini and tights too. I so get that!

By Mary, at 8:56 am

well done for resisting all the treats at the market and on your shopping.. short denim skirt and leggings - fantastic.
daggy outfit on boy = d*ckhead...
ps. No AP tomorrow because of 41 degrees (I'm not that crazy)

By Cinders, at 9:05 am

I agree @ the guy - his problem, his loss. I love how you're approaching it too - I need to be more like you I've decided heh, very wise, everything always ends up with me never being good enough.

As for the tights, that's awesome! I think I may have to pop into Kmart today to check some out, I desperating need new gym clothes - I guess the best thing about working out at home is I can be daggy and it's ok lol.

Great work @ resisting the bakery too!!

By Dee, at 12:23 pm

It's his loss! And - more details on the daggy clothes please! White socks and moccasins? A t-shirt that said "I have a PHD"?!

And I'm with everyone else - bingeing on fruit doesn't count! Well done for resisting the bakery!

By philippa_moore, at 10:03 pm

Definitely his loss. I'm with you on thinking that I've blown it and then really blowing it - well done on choosing all that lovely fruit over the bakery goods.
Have a great Sunday.
Me

By Me, at 1:38 am

what i'm thinking is that u can do a heap better so dont b worrying....keep up ur work, ur gonna get there

By laura, at 5:39 am