iDiet

[a weight loss story]

kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au

::15.1.06::

Once Upon A Time...

Last night I found out my sister had a copy of some photos scanned on her computer. These photos are from around 1999-2000 when my sister and I were producing our show on community television. We needed some publicity shots and so had a friend take these (I've cut my sister and friend out because I didn't think they'd like their mugs plastered all over my blog, especially since they don't know about it).

She didn't want to send them to me because she thought it would upset me to see how big I was then and, to be honest, it was quite a shock, but the thing that really struck me was how happy I looked.

My sister said our lives were shiny back then. We had so much confidence and really thought we could do anything we wanted. It was like we were on the verge of something good. About six months after these photos, I sunk into the biggest depression like I was in a giant hole with no way out.

It's funny though to think that I was so much happier then. You'll never hear that in any story in a diet magazine - this is when I was fatter but happier. But the reality is the two things aren't related. There is no magic equation. I've been fat and happy. I've been fat and unhappy. Now I just need to work on been healthy and happy.

Just for comparison, this is me in October 2005:

# 19 comments * Post a Comment

Wow!
thats about all I can say.
You should be very proud of all you have achieved. :)

By Ang, at 12:43 pm

you are looking so great...so much to be proud of...happiness is something i'm searching for too...i'm hoping being happier in my body will help that...in response to ur question, my gym is pretty cool, there are nice ppl there i'm too selfconcious to talk to anyone, I keep my head down and try to finish as fast as possible...when my friends came it was easier (although they were pikers) wish there was like a lil blog gym...now how cool would that be!!!!so much support...anyways, have a fantastic sunday x

By laura, at 1:36 pm

Wow...you have come such a long way!!

By Leighanne, at 7:04 pm

WOW what an awesome effort...you look unbelievable! You should be so proud of yourself!!

By Tina, at 8:36 pm

Oh my lordy lordy lordy ( very magda subanskiish) i cannot even see that that picture is you! Congrats sweety - you have done so well!

By Anonymous, at 9:07 pm

You look incredible. The difference in those pictures...well, I am lost for words.

To be healthy and happy I think is the ultimate goal in life. It takes time to put all the pieces of the puzzle together though. I have been fat and miserable, then thin and miserable, then thin and happy, then fat and happy, then fat and miserable again! I'm slowly getting to the point where I do feel healthy and happy for the first time in my life.

I think all of us have (or will) reached a point in our journey where we realise that the reason we were miserable and overate was not because we were overweight, it was for other reasons. And if we don't want to put the weight back on again, we have to figure out how to deal with those emotions without turning to food again.

I think you've got a lot going for yourself at the moment. You're looking bloody fantastic, you've written a novel, you've got so many prospects - your life truly can be whatever you want, just like you thought back then.

You should be so proud of everything you've achieved.

And by the way, well done on just being "above" your ideal weight, not "very much over" anymore! That's great! I can't wait to join you in the 70's!!

Have a great week xx

By philippa_moore, at 9:17 pm

You are looking fabulous hun! But depression is quite common in people who have lost weight. It's something you need to jump on top of. It's something you're probably going to need help tyo jump on top of.

remember we are all here !

By Jadey, at 9:24 pm

what a difference! you look amazing

By Rah, at 10:20 pm

The difference is incredible. On the outside, from the chin down you have completey changed, I guess that goes for the inside too.

A lady I knew 10 years ago had gastric by-pass and a mutual friend commented that she may have lost weight, but what's with the disappearance of personality? Before, she was bubbly, chatty and involved in all her kids sporting endeavours. After, she became all but a recluse, very quiet and softly spoken. I suppose that it was as you said, she just got on with life when she was fat, but then expected everything to right itself when she lost it. I haven't seen her in years, wonder how she is...

Going to see a therapist sounds like a fantastic idea. If you need a broken bone set, you see a doctor, if you butcher your at-home dye job, you see a hairdresser, but when it comes to emotions most people struggle through unaided. Maybe your gym can recommend someone.

By CaramelKitKat, at 10:21 pm

Wow!! I know you've come a long way, I've seen and read over your stats always, but to see it.

It's phenomenal, I am in awe of you. I totally agree with what you say about being happy and fat, and being unhappy and fat...

And you are SO right about it being unrelated, I think too many (myself included) get lost in hoping that when we're thin our problems melt away. That we will love ourselves and be confident.

You're beautiful, inside and out... before and after. Be proud of that!

Enjoy your week Darlin'

By Dee, at 10:49 pm

i so appreciate that you have been so honest about the whole skinny not necessarily meaning happier... thank you for telling it like it is. i really love your entries and often read them two or three times.

i think you look bloody incredible in the october shot! but the smile in the older pic is just gorgeous too. so here's to finding the place where they both meet :)

By Anonymous, at 4:18 am

An amazing comparison! I agree, size and happiness aren't necessarily linked, but it seems I don't have to WORK quite so hard at being happy now that I'm not so big.

By Sue, at 7:19 am

People need to know that losing any weight is not the magic pill that makes everything better. But it might just be the thing that gives you the strength to find out what will.

The difference in the photos is amazing - and that is only till October. Perhaps the next update will recover some of the smile from the first.

By Margaret, at 10:17 am

You are awesome, and a great inspiration. You should be very proud of how far you have come, it has been a damn lot of hard work for you. Well done.
Bri

By Briony, at 11:03 am

Look at you babe! I can see a gothy type ;-) I can totally understand that our physical appearance does not make us instantly happy but being healthier sure helps us deal with life's curveballs better I reckon. Keep up the great work!

PS. I have down time at work today so I thought I'd blog instead of twindle my fingers :-)

By Mary, at 11:07 am

Amazing photos - you have really come a long way.

By Cinders, at 12:15 pm

WOW! look at you! u r looking amazing! u have made huge changes - so inspiring!!!

By Angel, at 8:22 pm

I've been wondering what exactly to write, you look different! But what I noticed even more in the difference was that you looked years younger as you are now.

But you still glowed either way.

By Lucinda, at 11:03 pm

Wow! Thats unbelievable!!!!!
Your doing fantastic!

By Tiffany, at 3:30 pm