The other night I had a dream. In my dream I was looking in my dressing table mirror and realised that I was thin. It wasn't like I had lost a lot of weight just that this is the person that I am, only I hadn't been able to see it before.

I'm not sure what this dream meant but it has made me realise that throughout my life I have started diets and exercise programs but I have never really believed they will work. I have never been able to see myself as a thin person.

I have had a few setbacks with my diet plan, mainly due to my lack of motivation. But I am ready to give it another whirl.

My main problems are these:

1. Not having meals planned or organised so that I give in to the lure of the chip shop and Andrew's nagging.

2. The healthy alternative at the chip, a vegetable and tomato dish, actually having more oil than the chips. I only realised this the other day. I thought I was being so good until I noticed the oil floating on top. Oh chip shop, why did you betray me?

3. Cadbury Black Forest Chocolate.

4. Depression and life stress.

5. Being sucked into some huge time void by my computer. Eating while on the computer.

The action plan going forward is this:

1. Control temptations, get a small chocie instead of a family block or learn to not gobble the whole thing in a massive chocolate orgy. This could be extremely difficult -- I laugh at those diets that let you have a few squares of chocolate or one tim tam.

2. Exercise. Everyday. No excuses. I want to get a VCR since I have neither a video or DVD player and some exercise videos so I can workout at home.

3. Control blood sugar. I think this is what I should be concentrating on, not weight. Since I am diabetic I need to stop fartarsing around... take my blood sugar readings every day and remember to take my tablets. I am so slack at this... I run out of one of my tablets about a month ago and still haven't got the script filled.

4. Plan meals. If I have everything ready to go then I will be more likely to eat well. Buy diet coke.

5. Drink more water.

Big Brownie Points:

1. Feeling blah on Friday night and ignoring all the massive chocolate displays in KMart and Coles, buying a handful of dried apricots instead to calm comfort food cravings.

2. Making a yummy stir-fry on Saturday night while Andrew and his friend got pizza. Only scabbing one slice of pizza off them.

3. Going for long walk last week.

4. Buying low-fat icecream and fruit for healthy treats.

Go me! I can do it!