[a weight loss story]

*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au*


Today is Blah Day

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm just not a happy little vegemite. I've been exercising well but my eating is like a runaway train and my mood has been the blahest shade of blah.

I think one of the problems is that that since I've stopped working, I need to get out of the house but getting out of the house usually means going to a cafe or somewhere like that and even if I choice wisely, the food is never as healthy as the stuff you make at home. I get frustrated with cafes because it seems like they are always trying to sneak baddies into your food - butter on the roll or a few chips on the side of the plate or fatty meat.

Last night we went to a gourmet burger place in St Kilda. I got a chicken burger and it was fantastic. The chicken was grilled so it was pretty healthy. The only problem was it had aioli on it. That stuff is so high in fat. I didn't realise until I got home and looked it up. What is aioli anyway? Is it like mayo with added lard? I don't even like the stuff but I didn't think to ask for it without. I need to be much more on the ball when I eat out.

The other thing is to NOT eat out so much. All calorific concerns aside, it costs too much money. Okay now and then but not all the time. Maybe I could make a nice sandwich or a salad and go to the park or somewhere and eat it. Then I'd be getting out of the house but not spending money. I could even pack a picnic lunch and go for a long walk.

Another problem is lack of sleep. I think sleep is just as important as eating well and exercise. But lately I've been neglecting that side of things. I must sleep more.

Oh yeah, plus I think I'm putting too many expectations on myself. Like if I go to a class at the gym, it's not enough to do the class any more. I have to stick around and spend time on the treadmill or the cross trainer. Then I feel bad if I do less than an hour of additional cardio on top of the class. Stupid, I know.

I think there are other issues too. Tonight I might have some quiet time and try an exercise that's worked well for me in the past. I actually got this from a writing book and it's fantastic if you have things that you need to dig out of the mire of your brain. You write a question at the top of the page then just freewrite for a couple of minutes answering that question without stopping to think about what you are writing. When you finish the first one you can keep going, digging further into things that come up. It's a lot cheaper than therapy anyway.

Kathryn, every time I make a major change in my life (working, not working, moving, relationship start, end, etc.), it takes me a few weeks (or longer) to reorient myself to whatever has happened. Perhaps your current struggle is related to that kind of transition; for example, feeling let down because you aren't with your workmates anymore. This is true even if the change is very desireable and highly anticipated. Those of us who have had a somewhat chaotic upbringing tend to forget that change has a hidden penalty, and it can be difficult to prevent ourselves from bearing down harder on ourselves when we feel it ("shoulding" ourselves as it were). Maybe a question you could ask yourself is: do you miss your former job?

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 11:06 pm  

Aïoli is mayonnaise with garlic, that's all - but mayo is a traitorous little condiment. The Light stuff we have at home is pretty healthy, thus lulling me into thinking mayo is OK, so I catch myself buying sarnies with the regular stuff in them when I'm out...

An hour of cardio on top of a class? How do you not fall from the crosstrainer with exhaustion? I'm pretty impressed by the people who do 40-minute chunks without stopping (I do 45 minutes, but in two sections with weights in the middle). I would be bored long before 40 minutes.

By Blogger K, at 11:37 pm  

Not only it is cheaper than therapy, but it is indeed one of the major tools!

Try to send your brain on holidays while you answer the questions. Our brain tends to rise all the walls when we hit issues that hurt.

Also, I got the two magical questions I have to reply to at most of the sessions I'm having. For instance,let's say I whine and say...shit, I dont really understand why I'm eating so bad lately, since when I eat good and exercise I feel like a trillion euros! And the questions my therapist always poses are:

Tell me 3 things you gain by this and 3 things you avoid.

Since you're on for the ride, you might want to visit this path too :)


By Blogger Silverella, at 11:45 pm  

I know that the weeks where I eat out I have the smallest loss or not loss at all. I sometimes wonder about them sabotaging our efforts. Hey have to have someone to blame right! LOL!! In saying all that you need to be able to live your life and never stop doing what you love. Just minimise it. XX

By Blogger Jodie, at 11:52 am  



Wish Pants

I bought a pair of wish pants (ie jeans I wish would fit me) a while back on ebay. They turned up today. They are a size 13, I wanted size 12 but I also wanted Jeans West because I currently have Jeans West jeans and wanted to know the sizing was proportional (or something like that, you know what I mean).

Lately my hip measurement has NOT changed. Not for weeks. But I don't know how accurate it is. I mean, it's all well and good measuring firm flesh but when you have a belly of such jelliness as myself it's like hitting a moving target. So I've invented a new concept in measurement. I put on the wish pants - it's a sure sign of my body's lack of proportion that they fit me perfectly in the legs - and measured from the edges of the waist band.

That gives me 28 cm to go for the wish pants to fit. So far I've lost 33 cm from my hips, give or take some cm. That means I have a long way to go although I kinda figure the weight has to come off my belly more now. After all, some bits of me have no more fat to lose. I can't even sit on wooden benches for more than 2 minutes now!

I am going to take my wish pants measurement every month until the damn pants fit. Then I will be happy and I can stop dieting and pig out on whatever I want. Only joking. Then I can maintain my weight and eat sensibly forever.

Love the idea of your "wish pants". I am sure they will fit you soon. I feel the same way about my wobbly stomach. I think that when the fat has gone from everywhere else it must eventually go from there too! I can also relate to harder seats now there isn't as much padding!
Hope your week is going well.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 4:14 pm  

wish pants r a fantastic idea - i actually have a pair of those i should start using.

By Blogger Kt, at 6:45 pm  

I have some wish pants in the cupboard ... they are huge in the legs though - but the waist is tiny...well not tiny, but you get the drift.

Lucinda :)

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:22 pm  

Thanks for your comments the other day. They were really great and did get me thinking. And after reading this post I know I am going to buy my wish pants tomorrow. Then I will keep trying them on and if they don't fit me by Christmas, well, then I'll just have to aim for New Years :)

Well done for tracking and getting back on top of it. After your job change (well it was!) it would have been easy just to chuck it all away but you haven't. Hope the writing is going well. :D

By Blogger M, at 9:21 pm  

My wish pants are an old pair of courdoroy slacks I bought at the beginning of high school that I would love to be able to fit into again. Actually, I have a box or two marked "skinny clothes" that are full of stuff that I'm looking forward to wearing again someday.

By Blogger PastaQueen, at 3:53 am  

That is such a good idea and definitely a motivator. Hrm, maybe I should do the same thing, because if there is one thing I can't stand, it is clothing that I cannot wear sitting in my closet :)

By Blogger snackiepoo, at 5:16 am  

I also work on the theory that I will lose fat off my arms and hips eventually because after a while there will be no more fat on the rest of my body to loose. Hope it works!
I get the whole harder seat thing now too and lying in bed isn't as comfortable all the time either!
Wish pants are such a good idea! Measuring is so hard cos I always forget exactly which spot I measured last time

Have a lovely day


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 7:57 am  

i have plenty of wish pants but they are all packed away at my parents place, maybe i will have to go and unpack my favorite ones and do the same thing, great idea

By Blogger Fiona, at 9:01 am  

I have a wish dress. It was my year 11 formal dress, size 12 - I lent it to my aunty last year for a Christmas do, so when I got back to Tassie for New Year, I'll be asking for it back, seeing there's a slim chance (pun intended!) that it might fit me again in the near future!

Hope you're having a great week!

By Blogger Philippa, at 1:18 pm  



Man, I've been Eaty McEats Everything In Sight lately. I dunno what's wrong with me. I'm not hungry, I think it's just bored eating and it's got to stop right now. It's bad habits and I don't want them taking hold.

Sometimes in life I think you just need to use a bit of self-discipline so I'm going to only eat at designated meal and snack times.

The wedding dress shopping was fun on the weekend. Well fun for me, not so much fun for my friend. I felt sorry for her because she's put on weight and isn't at all happy with the way she looks. Not that she's all that big, just bigger than she used to be. Of course, trying on all those fitted dresses does nothing for your self esteem especially when you have to parade them around a showroom filled with size 8 girls.

We walked out of one bridal shop and she just kept muttering, how did I put on so much weight? I told her it's easy.

I don't want to start bombarding my friend with advise so I've just been giving her a few hints and tips. She's just joined a gym and she has until March to lose the weight, which is enough time to get to her goal weight if she loses at a steady rate. But I also think she's in a state of mind where I can't say too much or it will just get her down.

One of the things I find weird is that she doesn't want the big fancy wedding. She doesn't even want to get married. But her partner wants it all done right. I'm sure it's pretty rare for the guy to be pushing for these things.

So anyway we are off to look at more dresses next week - we found one that is the absolute stand out from the bunch of white satiny things but didn't have an appointment so have to go back next week for trying on.

While we were looking, I found the wedding dress I want - it was a Victorian dress in purple with a black sleeves. Now I just need to find a groom! Andrew downloaded the latest season of the Gilmore Girls for me and I've been catching on up that. I think I'd like my potential groom to be a lot like Luke from the Gilmore Girls *swoon*. He's surly and manly and he fixes stuff. I love a man who fixes stuff.

Wedding dress shopping is hard work. So much hard work that I bought my dress on eBay! I just couldn't face the women in bridal shops, in fact I find it extremely hard to walk into those shops. I tried twice and ran away in a blind panic both times. That said, I am looking forward to being married! I just can't deal with the bridal stuff and the expectations.

:) Sarah

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 12:33 pm  

I know nothing about wedding dress shopping yet but now that brides maid dress shopping is bloody difficult!
At least if you found one you like it will be easy when you marry Luke from the Gilmore Girls!
I too have been eating everything in sight! and I have no idea why!

Have a great day


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 1:26 pm  

oh wow, your wedding dress sound lovely. I wish I had done away with the whole ivory/white thing and worn what i wanted.

I was a size 22 wedding was so damn depressing

By Blogger A Girl Running, at 7:36 pm  



Fun Run

The final Spring into Shape fun run was on this morning. I came home early last night, after an exhausting day of wedding dress shopping with my friend, so I could get a good night's sleep but it wasn't to be.

At 1.30 one of my housemates and his girlfriend came home for a night o' passion. I was woken by her verbal expressions of her love. I put the pillow over my head and tried to ignore it. She got louder and louder and didn't stop. Half an hour of listening to her moan like a wounded sea mammal was enough for me. I flew out of bed and explained the rules of ettiquette to them - well explained using lots of pounding and swear words.

I think it was really healthy and a sign of my growth as a person that I did this. I've always been a silent fumer, but silence fuming doesn't make people shut the fuck up. Yelling and pounding does.

At 5.00 am, the same housemate came home with his mates. They thumped up and down the hallway and talked. A lot. Luckily that didn't last long. It did raise some questions though. I think the situation had one of three explanations:

1. My housemate took his girlfriend home then went out drinking with his mates.

2. I abused the wrong housemate (but hey they got the message so it ended well) OR

3. My housemate loaned his room to one of his mates so he could get it on with some scrubber he picked up at some bar.

Hopefully I can continue my quest for recognition as being scary and a little bit psycho - it can only be to my advantage. Mostly people must learn - never, ever wake me.

So I got to the fun run this morning in less than optimal condition, met the lovely Lucinda who was recovering from a mammoth bike riding effort then walked my walk. I think I did a personal best time - woohoo! As I got to the end of the walk, I decided to run to the finish line. Well I tried but didn't quite make it. I stopped running and thought I was going to die. But I pushed myself and managed a little jog to finish.

Afterwards I caught up with Lucinda again then got a free massage. The massaging dude worked a miracle on my back. My back has been much better lately but it was like I had this big, hard ball of wool in my lower back and he untangled it all.

What a great morning - the weather is perfect, sunny with a nice breeze; the run was indeed fun; I got free socks, a free massage and I had a sausage.

Oooh, free massage! Bet you enjoyed that.

Your housemates sound very annoying, but unfortunately with uni and exams now over for the year, there'll be a bit of partying and late night goings on! It would be nice if they had a bit more respect for people who like to get to bed at a decent hour!

Good on you for going in the fun run and enjoying it! I hope to do one myself...soon!

Have a great week darl, take care :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 12:20 pm  

I would love to do a fun run but unfortunately we never get them in my area :o(
Sounds like very annoying housemates! Good on you for having a go at them! Fair enough too!


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 12:27 pm  

Well done on your walk/run after a night of interruptions. How annoying. Good on you for yelling and letting them know you were upset.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 7:26 pm  

Earplugs, maybe?

I'm never bothered by noise myself (well, I live with my parents, who don't make any, but when I didn't I wasn't) but that was seriously thoughtless, even if it wasn't the same housemate both times. But yeah, well done on doing the fun run despite sleeplessness.

By Blogger K, at 2:51 am  

I pick option 3. Go you for letting them know how you feel. Bet they won't try that on again for a while - well not without inviting you anyway :D

Whoo hooo for your fun run activities. What a way to beat your best time. Fantastic. And to meet Lucinda in the process. That is just so much fun. Hope your back is still feeling good after the massage :D

By Blogger M, at 9:19 pm  




I was listening to the radio this morning (Run Like You Stole Something on 3RRR) and they interviewed a doctor who has been running a study over the last 12 years on obese patients with type 2 diabetes - the study followed their weight loss and now their maintenance. This doctor (I didn't get his name) and a couple of other people who have been doing research into weight loss are doing a seminar on Thursday night at the Hilton. I'm really interested in going along. I'll put more details when I find out.

They also talked about a Chinese weight loss cure where they set the patients alight! I've heard of burning calories, but that's a bit extreme. The sad thing is, whenever I hear wacky stories like that, there is always a thought at the back of my mind of wonder if it works!

First day back tracking and I was almost too scared to put in my consumption for last night - a hamburger plus 5 glasses of wine. Yikes. But because I stuck to a plain burger - no cheese or bacon or other other extras, I wasn't too much over. Go me! I'm so glad I resisted the cheese platters at the bar because they were looking mighty tempting last night. Damn bars that sell Scotchman's Hill wines by the glass - that stuff is too yummy.

Must run. I'm meeting a friend today to go wedding dress shopping. I think a lot of moral support will be required.

i think if u can have a hamburger & 5 glasses of wine without going too much over your alowance, you my dear, are a bloody legend!

By Blogger Kt, at 10:45 am  

LOL KT - I reckon right!!

Kathryn - Geez @ the burning thing, that made me get shivers all over, I don't even understand how that'd help?? It would be interesting with the doctors and stuff - can't wait to hear what comes of that.

By Blogger Dee, at 12:11 pm  



Weigh In

Arrrggh! Half a kilo gain this week. This not tracking thing is obviously not working for me. I think I'll go back to tracking again this week. It's too easy to forget what I eat - having a little treat then later in the day having another little treat.

Thinking about it, my timing probably wasn't the best. Since I'm not working I've not got into a routine which makes things much harder plus I've been feeling a bit sick. Oh well, I'll track for the next couple of weeks then try it again.

Has anyone else noticed how once you start eating well, you seem to put on weight much more easily when you go off track? It only takes a week of not so good eating to put on a kilo or half a kilo?

But if you live on pizzas and Big Macs and family sized chocolate bars whilst drinking your body weight in margaritas every weekend sure you put on weight, but not a kilogram every week - I mean, that would be a 50 kilogram gain in a year! (Which would mean many more margaritas!)

Maybe my metabolism has changed and I've become used to eating low calories plus exercising often? Now my body goes haywire when I put junk into it but, if I kept eating junk, it would settle down to a slow and steady gain?

Of course, it could be just because I weigh myself regularly now. Once I'd weigh myself maybe once every 3-4 months so I'd not notice those fluctuations so much. Now I'm on the scales nearly everyday; nothing escapes my attention?

Oh well, I'll have a loss next week. Honest Injun.

PS. I just worked out, I need to lose 9 kilograms to get my BMI within the normal range so I'm challenging myself to do that in the next 9 weeks - ready for the Big Day Out. I might call it the Big Weigh Out Challenge. I think this will be my plan of attack:

* keep tracking for the next 9 weeks
* ensure I drink enough water (been slack on this since I stopped work)
* cardio 6 days a week plus some kind of toning exercises - my measurements having really been changing even as I loss weight which bugs me no end. Since I hurt my back, I've not been able to do weights, pilates or pump class but that doesn't mean I can't do some simple toning exercises at home ie. the evil tricep dips.

I think my reward, if I succeed will be a Stooges t-shirt. Woohoo!

yes, I've definitely noticed that the scale isn't fair. It goes up much easier than down. On your tracking comment, I read a good article yesterday here:

It basically says to do exactly that: chart your food and weigh often as it's easier to lost 3 pounds than 10. Duh. Well we all know that but still, it helps to have someone with a hammer hit you with it now and again.

By Blogger Haloranch, at 9:35 am  

I so relate to your post. That dilemna about how easier it is to put on weight when you are eating well then go off the rails - is so true for me too. And i too think it is because our body gets used to eating more simple, whole, healthy foods and luvs it, then when we put crap into it, it choles - guess like if we put crap ointo our petrol tank huh lol I really understand your frustration cause it frustrates me often too how easy it can be to put on weight from one weekend of indulgence!

I too weight myself daily and am more prone to seeing fluctuations - but i find this works for me - doing regular weight checks :-)

Wow only 9kg till healthy range! that is awesome!! good luck with your challenge!! I have 5 weeks left on my 70's challenge (by NYE) so I am there with ya! I am cracking down and trying to be the 'Angel' of all weight loss angels! LOL

keep us posted how it goes!

By Blogger Angel, at 9:44 am  

Good luck with your Big Weigh Out Challenge.At least you are keeping an eye on things and you haven't let yourself put on too much. You will soon get rid of that 1/2 a kilo.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 10:50 am  

Hehe I love the name of your challenge! I giggle so much! it's super cute and Gooood Luck with it. Wow 9kilos and you're normal can you see the light at the end of the tunnel Hun?

I've been catching up on your blog and I so understand you mean about dreaming the big dream. Hoping that it all happens by the end. But I guess it's not just about eating right or exercising more, we're all finding things about ourselves - like how we deal with emotoins.

Sometimes it's not the destination but the journey that makes the dream come true. Head up, 9 wks and counting!

By Blogger Dee, at 11:42 am  

Wow, I missed a week so have just caught up, and there is so much stuff there to comment on! I think I will just leave it at this: you rock, and your determination and fighting spirit will see you become the happy, healthy You that you know you can be :-)

By Blogger Emily, at 11:43 am  

A t-shirt for a reward sounds like a good idea (I am going to get a belt for a reward for myself soon (I kinda need one)).
Imagine losing 9kgs and standing on those dam things at the Jam Factory. Make them sorry they ever messed with you!


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 11:44 am  

Big Weigh Out Challenge - love it! A great plan and very achievable.

Yes, it's a pain that the scales seem to jump 500g after one measly white chocolate and coconut gelato!

I think going back to tracking regularly is an excellent idea. I've been tracking every day without fail for a week and it's certainly made me feel more motivated and mindful of what I'm eating.

The things that you write about show that you've become a healthy person - you're conscious of everything that affects your health and you're doing everything you can to give yourself the best, most nurturing environment to achieve your goals.

That 9kg will disappear with that plan! All the best with it, and let us know how you go.

Have a great weekend :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 3:57 pm  

Oh gaining weight is soooo easy! I lol at the Big weigh out idea... sounds interesting/fab name for it. :)

By Blogger Ang, at 4:59 pm  

the big weigh out challenge sounds great!
i think your metabolism does change over time & it does seem unfair! going back to tracking is a great idea

By Blogger Kt, at 7:48 pm  

Now, where did I hear this astounding tidbit of info, I can't remember. I started this bit of info in my own words and then remembered where i read it, in my one of the notes of my Nutrition units for Naturopathy. Will find and type up in Ab Flab for all of us to ponder. Have a lovely weekend lovely lady.

By Blogger Jules, at 8:26 pm  

stooges tshirt! That would RULE! excellent incentive. go for it, tiger.

and i hear you re the rapid gains. unless i exercise like a mofo 6 times a week, i'll gain half-one kilo from just freaking looking at a chocolate bar...

By Anonymous dietgirl, at 9:15 pm  

Great plan. Working from home is very different to an office and putting in some routine should help with those extra bites.

And how cool will that Stooges shirt look - very cool !!

Hope you have a great weekend

By Blogger M, at 10:32 pm  




Last night I spent a lot of time reading journals of people who've had tummy tucks and other such surgery. That got me thinking about my last post and the quest for perfection. Maybe, just maybe, if you are forty years old and you have given birth and have lost a lot of weight, you aren't supposed to have the body of a 16 year old. I mean, you can spend an extreme amount of time and money, not to mention pain, having surgery to become closer to perfect, but who's saying what perfect is anyway?

I don't need to perfect. I don't need to look like a 16 year old or even a 25 year old. I just need to be the best me possible. That's good enough.

Well okay, I'm not totally ruling out the idea of a tummy tuck if I'm left with really hideous dangly down belly skin. At least if you are overweight and you pick up a dude, I mean begin a meaningful relationship in which you wish to express your love physically, the dude knows what he's in for when the clothes come off but it's another thing altogether taking the gear off and having enough surplus fabric to cover a sofa - a really big sofa. But other than that, I'm okay with things.

I was in Borders tonight, browsing through Bustmagazine when I found an article on cougars (older women who go for younger guys) and I remembered one of my motivations for losing weight - to get me a toy boy. Actually that was a joke when I first said it but hey, who's going to argue if a young spunk comes knocking on the door! I think I'd like a toy boy, I find it hard to relate to men of my age. They seem so old.

It's hard for women. You are surrounded by images of female beauty everywhere. I don't just mean in magazines or on tv. Even in real life, out on the streets, there are so many gorgeous chicks. I think woman tend to be better looking than men - If you look at the percentage of women who attractive compared to the percentage of men. I guess a lot of that comes down to the fact that women look after themselves more. You feel like you can't compete. I guess it all comes NOT competing. It isn't a competition. Like I said above, I don't have to look like a 16 year old and, let's face it, I can't afford that much surgery anyway.

I think I need to work on the loving of me, the thought of me as being lovable. Otherwise there will always be something wrong. Even since I've been losing weight, I've noticed how much I focus on other imperfections - my teeth are ugly, my hair is too thin - the list goes on.

This isn't going to change overnight, I know. It's a long, long battle. I was going to say it will all be over when I get to like 90 and quit caring, but I remembered how vain my Nan is (she's in her 90s) so maybe it never ends.

I so get what you are saying about women being bombarded with images of beautiful women everywhere! I also find that there are alot of girls my age with the whole mini skirt, big sunnies and side fringe thing happening and I feel like a complete frump around them. But you are a witty, funny, gorgeous human being so if a guy lets a bit of skin bother him he isn't worth sleeping with anyways! But hey if a tummy tuck is what may be on the cards for you I say go for it if it is to make yourself feel better. You have put in all the effort to drop the kilos you deserve to feel totally great about yourself.

By Blogger missjesse, at 12:27 am  

I am not into pain, so I couldn't have any operation that wasn't absolutely necessary for my survival.
I think it is OK to be a bit vain. Much nicer to see an older woman (well any age woman) who cares about her appearance that one who doesn't.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 7:59 am  

You write some really interesting posts that are very thought provoking and oh so honest. I did read your liposuction one even though I do have a very weak stomach but it was fascinating.
I don't think we will ever be fully happy with what we've got or end up with but hey it's always so much better than where we were. We are always so much more critical of ourselves than others are of us which is so sad. My DH thinks I look fantastic but do I accept that - no I point out the flabby and the loose bits!! Would I have liposuction, no, but only because I couldn't afford it, i'm a coward and I have very bad reactions to anaesthetic. It's easier I guess when you have been with the same partner for 25 years. I am very secure in his love for me & my body - crazy man!!! Now it could be very different if I was suddenly single again???
As you work through all the issues it may end up not being a problem.
Good Luck and thanks for the supportive comments.

By Blogger Lesley, at 11:53 pm  

It is a very thought provoking post, one which got me to thinking about my experiences when I lived in London. At the time I was about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, but still significantly overweight, especially for the UK and Europe. Nevertheless, I found myself, 43 years old, 50 lbs overweight, cellulite, slightly sagging breasts and all, surrounded by men who wanted to date (and do more). Why? All my English girlfriends were having an impossible time finding eligible men who cared for more than their body. Perhaps it was my flaws that drew men to me, not my perfection. Perhaps it was because I was interested in something else besides myself. Perhaps it was because I felt beautiful inside so I could be interested in something else besides myself. Whatever the reason, no liposuction or any surgery necessary. I had a more active social life than I could keep up with myself. My so-called flaws -- cellulite, flabby arms, increasing network of wrinkles -- were and are part of the package that is me. When someone was attracted to me, I believed they were attracted to the whole of me, not just the bits that were more perfect by today's air brushed standards. Maybe that belief caused me to relax around men when I was single and that is what caused the stampede in my direction. Like Lesley said, maybe I would feel differently if I was suddenly single again, but in 1998, it didn't make a difference to me at all, at all. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 1:19 am  

I didn't know there was a name for lovely women like that. Cougars. What a great word. Conjours up fast, sleek, clever :D

And I think there is nothing wrong with a toy boy or two at all.

By Blogger M, at 10:30 pm  




In my earlier post, I said I had no emotional reason for eating so much lately but I lied. Well, not so much lied, sometimes it takes a while for the things I'm thinking to float to the surface of my brain. I had a couple of things happen over the weekend - silly little things but things that caused fissures in my steely resolve.

Firstly, I went over to the Jam Factory on Friday because I wanted to get the official read-out from the weighing machine. The machine that always tells me - YOU ARE VERY MUCH OVER YOUR RECOMMENDED WEIGHT. I thought this time I'd get something else. But no. I knew I should have left it, shouldn't have weighed myself late in the day, but I did anyway and the machine said the same thing. So I went into Borders and had a coffee and a gingerbread cookie.

Then Saturday morning, I went to the gym - I did a half hour boxing technique session followed by a boxing class. One of the things we had to do in the technique class was practice throwing punches aiming at our faces in the mirror. That's when I noticed it. Hanging there like big, wobbly turkey gobblers - the flap of underarm skin. Yikes - I thought it was bad but not that bad.

Looking at yourself in the mirror is a bad, bad thing. I started picking all my faults. I am such an "apple" shape - I carry all my weight on my torso and I'm still so big in the belly area. As I watched myself, it dawned on me - even if I get to my goal, I still might not look GOOD. Sure I'll look a helluva lot better than I did at 110 kilograms, but I don't want to just look good for me, I want to look good for anyone.

Everyone knows the story - losing weight won't solve all your problems - but it's hard sometimes to accept that. I think, for me, it isn't just that I blame my weight for all my problems as that being my goal weight was always been an impossible dream. It's like when you sit at work dreaming about winning Tattslotto. It's such a huge thing that you may as well dream the whole big dream - you don't just lose the weight, you don't just win the cash - your whole life is transformed. You no longer have men problems, you no longer have work worries. Instead of cowering from confrontation, you go out fighting. Suddenly the whole world loves you, your life is all sparkle and glitter.

It's not like that at all, is it... you lose the weight but you don't transform. It's hit me like a ton of bricks this week.

So what happens now? I guess there are two choices - I can give up, stuff my face (and live with the resulant health problems - can't forget my old friend, diabetes) or I can deal with it all. So maybe it takes more than diet and exercise to make my life sparkle. Maybe I have to go the extra mile and work on some other issues: the zillion and one other issues that plague my life. So be it.

One thing that constantly comes back to me as I lose weight, is that fat isn't the problem; fat is the symptom of deeper problems. I guess I have to dig deeper and root those problems out. In the meantime I think I'll try some some of satan's own exercise - tricep dips.

Of course I could not agree more that weight is a symptom not the problem, but what I identify most with in your post is the idea that even if I go to all this effort, conquer my fear and deal with the pain, suffering and anxiety of getting slim, I might not look that good. What a thought! On my better days, I think I look great now and I'll look great all the way down. But, that's when I'm looking at my personhood and not just my arms. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 10:34 pm  

I still cling on to the 'i'll change when I lose weight' scenario - I think I cling on to it a bit much really, I hope to let go...soon.

Won't be trying that weight machine at the jam factory for a while :(

By Anonymous Lucinda, at 11:05 pm  

I agree with your post and know that when I get to goal weight I am still not going to be happy with myself. I am 9ish kgs away from goal weight and while everyone tells me I look good now I know I don't. But the scary bit is that when I get to 65kgs I still know I am not going to be happy so what do I do? Just keep on going down until I look like Nicole Richie or just learn to accept the bits I don't like! Eeek!

Stay away from the Jam Factory and the evil scales!

By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 9:59 am  

Hey Kathryn. I agree with you in lots of things you wrote today. I find that sometimes I don't even know what is bothering me but I pick up my previous bad behaviours again - like sneak eating or invisible eating(if noone sees me doing it it doesn't count)...then I have a brainwave and think maybe I am doing this because of this and oh it feels a bit better then cos then I know what I need to work on. I have always thought that losing weight would solve all my problems but I realise that isn't true and have addressed a few big issues over the last 2 or 3 years and I feel much better in myself and totally agree that the overweight is a symptom of other things. Keep on with those tricep dips and the self-awareness journey as you have come a tremendous distance so far....take care.

By Blogger LeisaB NewMe, at 4:17 pm  


By Blogger Ang, at 4:18 pm  

The tonne of bricks will feel lighter when you start picking them off one by one.

One of the things I held onto for a long while was What if my back didn't get better after I lost my weight. I didn't want to find out so I kept putting it off and off and off. Then when I accepted that losing the weight may never actually 'cure' my problem it was easy to at least start. Now I know that it hasn't cured my back but it sure as hell has made it a lot easier on it.


And bravo to you for dips. Not my favourite thing at all :D

By Blogger M, at 10:04 pm  




Because I'm bored and it's late and I can't sleep, I thought I'd post my top 10 favourite workout songs. I don't really like much dance music and mostly work out to rock. These are the songs that get me moving:

Lust for Life - Iggy Pop
Cherry Pie - Warrant
Paco Doesn't Love Me - The Spazzys
Rock N' Roll High School - The Ramones
Sheela Na Gig - PJ Harvey
Jailbreak - AC/DC
Black Betty - definitely the Nick Cave version, not Spiderbait
Killing in the Name Of - Rage Against the Machine
Little Room - The White Stripes
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor. This is the best song for when you think you can't take any more. If you can quit your workout while listening to Eye of the Tiger you don't deserve to have it on your workout mix!

So what are everyone else's favourite workout songs?

My tastes in music go all over the place, but these are some of the songs that make it onto the playlist a lot:
LaGrange -- ZZ Top
Trouble in Paradise -- Sylvester
Good Vibrations -- Marky Mark
Can't Touch This -- M.C. Hammer
Love is Gonna Save the Day -- Georgie Porgie
Learn to Fly -- Foo Fighters
Outta Love -- Anastasia
Mr. Vain -- Culture Beat

I love to exercise to music. It's like starring in my own music video. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 2:04 am  

I've got lots of gangsta in my workout file - but Eye of the Tiger is there too! My ipod is almost completely full, so I often just hit shuffle and get a very odd mix!

By Blogger Sue, at 6:56 am  

Because I have been lazy and I haven't taken my Suzy Quatro double CD out of my bag I always workout to Suzy at the gym. She is great though!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 8:16 am  

Eye of the Tiger would be right up there. David has a lot of dodgy mid 90's dance party CD's left over from his Year 12 days, so I often use them!
- Runaway: Real McCoy
- Protect Your Mind (Braveheart): OJ Sakin & Friends
- Smile n' Shine: Pandora
- Sexy Eyes: Whigfield
- This Is Your Night: Amber
- Jellyhead: Crush
- Right Type of Mood: Herbie

There are heaps more, but I think David has got the rest out in the garage!

A song that always reminds me of the gym though is "Paper and Fire" by John Mellencamp - All Aerobics in Hobart used to play it ALL the time in the circuit!

Hope you had a great weekend and that the writing is going well!

By Blogger Philippa, at 10:55 am  

For a sweaty cardio session, I can't go past:
Hate To Say I Told You So - The Hives.
New York City Cops - The Strokes.
Lust for Life - Iggy!
Most of the first Franz Ferdinand album.
Get Free - The Vines.
All of the Jesus and Mary Chain's Psychocandy album.
Bohemian Like You - Dandy Warhols.
Back in Black or Jailbreak - Acca Dacca.
We're Not Going To Take It - Twisted Sister (I loved this at Fitness First!)

There are heaps and heaps more but they're not coming to mind right now :)

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 12:10 pm  

I am like everyone else in that I have an odd mix of music for sure....It usually depends on the workout, but here are ones that are on each play list:

1.) Pretty much the whole "Emotional Technology" cd - by BT
2.) More than Human - Rob Zombie
3.) Tribute and Wonderboy - Tenacious D
4.) Varied Dr. Dre and Eminem songs
5.) Old School Club like Silent Morning by Noel

By Blogger snackiepoo, at 4:48 am  

Im a huge Rage against the machine ... so I am with u with "killing in the name of". Nearly all their songs get me pumped up and ready to get rid of fat :)

By Blogger { the.Moranbah.Scrapper }, at 4:03 pm  

Hi Kathryn - firstly congrats on getting out of the obese range that is a huge achievement and something I am monitoring for my own records as well. I really like a song which I think is called "voodoo child"??not sure but it really gets me moving. I love music to work out to it really keeps me going. Have a great

By Blogger LeisaB NewMe, at 4:20 pm  

I'm a techno head right now, though I'm slipping back into rap <3

It's awsome seeing so much diversity in the songs choices people!

By Blogger Dee, at 6:44 pm  




I can't seem to stop eating at the moment. I am Snacky McSnackster. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just for a day but it's been going on for the past few days and it must stop now. I've been trying to analyse why I'm doing it but I have no great emotional traumas going on in my life at the moment. I think it's just my natural piggy instincts coming out. I get into bad habits - I start snacking then I'm not hungry for meals so I don't have a proper meal and just keep snacking. It is a bad cycle.

I don't think the change of routine from full time work to no time work is helping either. When I'm writing, I snack - well it's one of whole range of procrastination techniques. Plus I'm starting to realise how much I write about food. Like I've been editing a scene where tiramisu plays a pivotal role. Maybe I should change it from tiramisu to donuts - I can write about donuts without feeling hungry.

One day off isn't going to hurt me, but when it extends to 2 or 3 or more days off or days that aren't quite so good, then I'm sinking back into bad habits. Why are bad habits so easy?

On top of all that, I have been buying foods that are easy to snack on. That is always a bad thing for me to have around. If I have a choice between fruit or making an effort to get a different snack, I'll have fruit. Currently, I'm having the other snack and the fruit!

All this is going to stop right now - well except the writing (but the snacking while writing will stop - unless it's on carrot sticks) . I'm cutting down on the snacks - I got my popcorn machine out of storage so that will make a healthy, yummy snack. I think I need to be more aware of my snacks too - eat consciously.

I have to listen to my body. I think that's the golden rule - it all leads back to that. Knowing when I'm really hungry. It's such an easy thing to say but so hard to do. I think when I master that, I'll be done.

Damn this seems to be contagious at the moment. Perhaps we should all get the snacking immunisation. Maybe we should invent one. And make millions. Then sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labour (can't believe I just said that)

Am booking in some 'me' time next week to read some of your stuff on your other site. It looked so great that I didn't want to rush it. I am very excited about this..

By Blogger M, at 9:37 pm  

Kathryn, this sounds ominously familiar as an outcome of the freedom not to count calories or points. Sometimes it takes a while to become adapted to the idea that if you don't have to count it, it doesn't count as much. And I'm with you on eating as a procrastination to writing (or whatever one is supposed to be doing). When you're an orally fixated person, eating always seems to be the solution.

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 10:58 pm  

Hello there Kathryn!

I went to spudatoes for dinner tonight...chilli con carne is evil...especially when it isn't even hot which means I have no trouble gobbling it down... = two walks today.

Nectarines are in season they will be my best friend until i turn into one around february!

And congrats for the loss and bmi superstar results!

By Anonymous Lucinda, at 11:29 pm  

I find that when I'm bored I snack. I'd got into the habit of snacking right through the day (going to the supermarket at lunchtime was my big downfall) and then get home and eat a big dinner as well.

Have now got back into my "zone". Hopefully it'll last a bit longer than before!

And can I book in for one of those immunisations please M!

By Blogger Jaykay, at 9:32 pm  



Weigh In

Today I am no longer obese. That's right, folks. Today I weighed in at 83.2 which puts my BMI under 29. I'm just a regular overweight chickie now. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have no living memory of not being obese. This was the last time I wasn't obese:

Image hosted by

The not tracking has been working just fine and dandy so far, of course it's only been half a week. I love it though. The other day I got a chicken burger from a place I've been meaning to try - they have big signage advising their burgers are all low fat. As I eat it, I began mentally breaking down the ingredients - roll, chicken breast, etc. Then I realised - I don't need to do this. Woohoo! Just eat and enjoy, no adding.

I've also been thinking - I've lucky really. Things seem to work for me (touch wood, big time). If I do the right things, I lose weight. The few times I've gained weight, I've known why - normally because I've been sick so I can't exercise plus I've eaten too much. You can't argue with those facts. Even if I have a day off or a meal off, I still manage to lose. I can work around it. I'm so grateful for that - especially when I read someone's blog who is doing all the right things and not losing. That must be so hard.

There is something else I've noticed as I cruise through the world o' diet blogs. Have you noticed how we seem to use our blogs as a confessional? If we have a blow out, then we purge our guilt by getting online and writing out our sins - listing the tim tams and the hot chippies and the pizza. All very catholic, isn't it? It got me thinking, does it help? Is it some kind of release mechanism - you know, once you've blogged it all then you no longer have the guilt. Because sometimes guilt is the heaviest weight we can carry.

Well done. That is such an achievement. Bet you feel proud!! I know I would!! XX

By Blogger Jodie, at 11:16 am  

It's interesting that you compare blogging to the confessional - there are lots of similarities - including the anonymity. I guess we all need a way to offload our 'sins'. Some use religion and some use the World Wide Web!

By Blogger Sue, at 11:25 am  

Well done on the loss - I did my BMI yesterday too, and mine is 28! I'm no longer obese either - yay!!

The way I read your post it sounds as though this has really become a way of life for you now, and you don't need to be obsessive, and nor do you need to keep this up for a certain period of time before having the mother of binges. It's a lifestyle now, and it's really working for you, which is fantastic!

Hope you have a wonderful weekend :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 11:39 am  

Yay for your BMI of 29. You are doing so well.
I do think that "a trouble shared is a trouble halved" and blogging is our good place to share our troubles and our triumphs.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 1:05 pm  

I don't know about using the blog as a confessional, but I think the reason I confess the odd slip is because that is what is really happening to me and learning how to manage those moments (and their aftermath) is almost the whole ball of weight loss wax if you ask me. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 2:24 pm  

Woo Hoo Kathryn! Congratulations on your loss.

And I was totally spellbound by your story about the liposuction!

By Blogger Jaykay, at 8:48 pm  

Congrat's - what a milestone! I just finished reading your Lipo story, and I must repeat how impressed I am that you are doing this weight-loss thing the long, hard, regular way and doing so well at it too!

Re the confession of dietary sins, for me it is just to show my lovely readers and supporters that I am not perfect all the time, and this journey is all about the good & the bad things, therefore I try to have some balance in what I write about.

By Blogger Emily, at 9:53 pm  

Congratulations on your loss Kathryn. This is so great that you are now no longer obese. In mind, spirit or in body.

My guilt is never erased by putting my details in my blog but I put in there, along with my feelings, thoughts and other stuff, so that I can understand later how I was feeling at the time and how I attribute it to the food I ate. But it is not an absolution.

By Blogger M, at 11:02 pm  

woohoo! well done. and you were a cute wee baby, btw!

agreed on the confessional thing. tho once people you know start reading it, it's not the same anonymous thrill... sigh :)

By Anonymous dg, at 1:47 am  

Oh babe, this is awesome! Well done :-) I personally don't like to read too much of the *confessional* blogs because honestly they piss me off. I like blogs like yours that inspire me because you actually DO stuff to change your situation. Seriously, well done!

By Blogger Mary, at 11:48 am  

well done on no longer being obese!
thats great news. Hope u have a lovely weekend :)

By Blogger Kt, at 12:59 pm  

bravo bravo bravo!!!!

By Blogger Silverella, at 6:32 pm  

AWESOME@ the WI!!!! How exciting it must be to say that. Wooohooo!

AS for the purging of the guilt, that's why I have my blog so I can think and analyse all my emotions and how I react so I won't just eat them away.

And very true, guilt is sometimes the heaviest weight.

By Blogger Dee, at 6:50 pm  

Congrat's on no longer being obese :o)

I confess my sins on my blog, because leaving them out of my blog would only tell half the story of my journey.

Unlike Mary, I like reading when others confess to eating junk because it helps me to feel more normal and also helps to reinforce that we can lose weight while still falling off the wagon occasionally.

By Blogger lms, at 11:09 pm  




This isn't diet related but a while back I had a website about my writing. Then the hosting expired and I had all kinds of more important shit happening in my life so I put it on the backburner. Now I've put it back up and if you want to check it out, it's here.

I love your writing site!

I'm so pleased for you that you're able to concentrate on your writing more now. I hope it's all going well.

By Blogger Philippa, at 1:20 pm  

Good luck Kathryn with your new independent career. Your new blog looks great. I wonder if you're discovering, like I am, that the trick isn't to work hard enough but to know when to turn it all off.

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 10:45 pm  

Great new look!! Links in well with the Ab Flab site. Glad not tracking is working. Always a dream to not have to continuously track for the rest of my life!!

By Blogger Jules, at 8:34 am  

This is fantastic Kathryn! I'll check it out and let my man know too as he is a writer :-) I look forward to reading about your writing.

By Blogger Mary, at 11:37 am  



Thoughts and Resolutions

In a recent post (which I am far, far too lazy to find and link back to) I talked about that magical, mystical day where I'd stop tracking - my healthy new lifestyle would take flight on wings of it's own no longer needing the guiding hand of calorie counts.

Well, I think that day has come, folks. Lately I've been so over tracking. Not in a bad - I don't care any more, I'd rather eat my own body's weight in lard - kind of way, but in I want to have a life outside of dieting and counting and fussing - kind of way.

I see it like this - most of my life has revolved around food and body stuff and all those related issues, its just that lately the focus has gone from a negative thing to a positive one; still the focus is there though. A princely part of my brain works is devoted to what goes into my mouth.

Recently I've had other things in my life - good things, interesting things, challenging things. Nothing major or pulse racingly exciting (well except for that builder who's going to spending the next week fixing up stuff around my house... what is it about a cute, young tradie in shorts and work boots? Best I start doing my hair and makeup before I go for a shower in the morning. Actually, with my slothful, unemployed lifestyle at the moment, best I start showering in the morning!)

So, now I've cooled down a little... the point is that I don't want live for food, I don't want my life revolving around what I eat, how many calories I've consumed, blah, blah, blah! But, on the other hand, I don't want to go insane. I still don't fully trust myself.

I kind of see it like this - I've taken my new eating patterns through the baby years, the years I have to watch them and nurture them and protect them but they aren't quite ready to move out and set up house on their own. These are the teenage years - the age where they are testing their limits and push for their freedom. They still need rules and curfews. I figure, I guided my son through adolescence without any dramas so I can do the same for my eating habits (although I trust Andrew much more than I do my appetite).

From now on, no more tracking. But I'm going to monitor my weight carefully and if I stop losing then I'll go back to it. It's a scary step but necessary one I feel.


I had a bit of a splurge day - financially not dietary. Since I'm in the mood for resolutions, I've decided this is the last splurge until I start working again. My shopping will be limited to the op shops except for Christmas gifts. What's the point of spending good money on clothes when they are only going to fit for a little while anyway?

I've been good with food shopping; Andrew and I have been making a weekly outing of the Preston Market. Since I stopped work, we've been going during the week which is much nicer than the Saturday crush. We actually get to browse in peace and chat with the stallholders. Then head to the souvlaki stall for lunch (bad, I know but I've been restricting myself to half a pide - yum).


Oh I guess I should say what I bought: a top/dress from Jeans West plus a singlet top (and I got a $15 voucher to spend next time); a new quilt set from Freedom - that was the big splurge but it has cherry blossoms on it and I love cherry blossoms, plus I virtually live in my room so having nice bedding is important. Oh that's it except for phone credit. Not so bad after all.

I did go into the Fila outlet shop to look for gym clothes. I did that thing where I looked at the stuff on the racks and realised nothing would go close to fitting me - except that, der, I was looking in the kids section. Still didn't buy anything though.


Anyway, it's a hot day so I should go see if this builder would like a cool lemonade.

Sounds like you've had a great day. And I'm very proud of you that you've recognised this new part of your journey, where you're going to trust yourself to make the healthy choices and control the portions without slavishly counting calories. It's never meant to be a crutch.

And good on you for getting a few nice new things for yourself - you deserve it. What's the dress like?

BTW, the cardigan I'm wearing in the photos I posted last Thursday is the same one that you bought on our little shopping outing last week! It's the Sylvia Plath cardigan!!

Hope you're having a great week :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 8:57 pm  

Sometimes I think that if we are in agreement with our unconscious self that we want to be slim and healthy, we don't have to count calories, points, grams or anything -- we just "naturally" make the right choices day after day. It would be a wonderful thing if that is the place you're in now.

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 10:38 pm  

kathryn, try this...

Would you like a cool lemonade? Or perhaps


Best of luck in your experiment. It is my dream to successfully monitor my eating habits without writing it all down!

By Blogger Zara, at 3:37 am  

After losing 26kgs you know how to lose weight so I am sure you will be OK not writing everything down. I think as long as you monitor your weight carefully and take action if you start to gain, things should go well. You know the choices to make now to stay healthy and fit.
Shopping expedition sounded great.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 12:13 pm  

I really identified with this post as I have too "gone off of the grid" lately as far as counting goes. I find that I eat healthier now, and just so you know, since I stopped counting almost a month ago, I have lost 7 pounds total when I had been stagnant for months.

Good luck!

By Blogger snackiepoo, at 6:00 am  

You have to love a good looking builder ;D

By Blogger M, at 10:57 pm  




A few posts ago, I said I'd post about having liposuction. This has ended up being a long post so I thought I'd do a bit of a hack and not put it up front. So if you want to read it, go here.

Be warned - there are some gory medical details included.

If you read the post and have questions that you aren't comfortable leaving in the comments for public reading, then feel free to email: kathrynoh at ozemail dot com dot au.


I am still looking for a body scrub. What's the deal here? It's almost impossible to find a decent one. I'm thinking conspiracy theory. In the meantime, I was going to get that new Dove firming lotion but then I found the Nivea firming lotion with massage head. A massage head will get me every time! After I've tried it, I'll post a review to Absolutely Flabulous to let you know what it's like.

Nivea sounds good. I will be interested to read what it is like.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 1:43 pm  

WOW - what an experience for you to go through. While I did (very briefly) years ago consider lipo, after seeing the procedure on TV, thought, nah, I can't do that.
Take care and thank you, once again, for sharing such personal things about yourself.

By Blogger Me, at 2:08 pm  

Kathryn I just thought of something I used to do when I wanted to have my very own body care! You can make your own scrub you know. Take a neutral Johns0n Baby Oil, add a few drops of your favourite essential oil, add either brown sugar or semi coarse sea salt...and tada! Your own scrub with the smell you like! You can do the same by adding a few drops of the essential oil to any neutral smelling body cream. I used to buy the cream from pharmacies that sell homeopathy drugs.

By Blogger Silverella, at 5:03 pm  

Kathryn, thank you for sharing such a personal story. You write brilliantly!

I feel very inadequate here, trying to come up with some kind of response - but it really touched me, and having met you in person and now knowing that you've been through so much, I'm amazed at your strength and determination to reach your goals, in spite of your past experiences. You're an incredible person, and such an inspiration.

Take care, and hope the other writing is going well :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 5:48 pm  

Best scrub I know is a Garnier one, it's bright yellow and comes in a tube.

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 9:02 am  

I'm not a fan of scrubs, i'm allergic to so many things. Making your own sounds good though.
Hope you're having a great week.

By Blogger Briony, at 4:33 pm  



Saturday Night Cocktails

I had a wee blowout last night. Well how can a girl resist when there is a cocktail on the menu that combines some of her favourite taste sensations ever - Grande Marnier, Lychee liqueur (I love lychees, can't wait for them to come into season), raspberry and rose water. I'm a total sucker for anything rose flavoured or containing rosewater as well.

Go me though. I stopped after one. I did have a few rather nice glasses of Scotchman's Hill Pinot Gris though. I so rarely drink now that I get tipsy like a 15 year old sucking on a bottle of Stones before the school social!

Yesterday arvo I went for a huge walk - over 8 kms. I've been wanting to walk 8 km for ages to prove I could do it and I can, although the last 3 km home nearly killed. I felt every step. I did jog a few bits though. I would like to jog more but I'm wary of my back! Damn this old body.

I walked to the Collingwood Children's Farm and back. I've always wanted to go there but I was sorely disappointed to find it was a farm FOR children, not a real children's farm with battery-caged kiddies. LOL.

I've got this great mental image of all these little cutie-pies with their faces pressed up against the bars!

By Blogger Sue, at 6:30 pm  

I have the same image. Sad thing was I was laughing. *bad girl*

Great walk Kathryn. Well done. :D

By Blogger M, at 8:56 pm  

Yay an 8km walk! I have always wanted to work from my home to 'town' which is about 11km! Might aim to do that over the summer (but get BF to pick me up from town!)
Hehe! I shouldn't laugh a the thought of children being in cages .. I don't even like the thought of chickens living like that!


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 7:40 am  

Great walk Kathryn - it's always the last few k's that do it!

That cocktail sounds divine. I'm not a big drinker as you know, but I spent a lot of the weekend with my mum and dad with a glass of wine in my hand! We basically emptied the Liquor Lands on the western side of Melbourne of their stock of my mum and dad's favourite WA white, "Mad Fish"!!

This will be an alcohol free week for me, I think :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 10:36 am  



Shiny Red Rewards

I know I said I wasn't going to buy me a 25 kilogram lost reward but some times the plan changes. I was walking through Myer today and thought I'd look at the stab blenders - gotta love that name. If I were a manufacturer of those things, I'd make one with a light in the end so when you are cooking you could pretending it was a light sabre but then maybe other people are like grown ups and don't do that stuff.

Anyways on the way to the blenders, I walked past this display and they had these things - they were like three shiny red square melamine boxes stacked up with a metal frame around them. They were really cute but a bit expensive and I didn't know what I'd use them for.

I love melamine though - it makes me think of the Skippy the Bush Kangaroo plate I had as a kid. If someone unlocked the secrets of my soul, I bet all my overeating would go back to that Skippy plate. I mean, who wouldn't overeat when you get to use a Skippy plate!

Anyway, I put the shiny red box thingie down and walked off. As I walked away, I thought of a great use for it. Salads. I could make three different salads and, when I wanted to eat them, I could just unstack the containers into three pretty red serving bowls and help myself. After dinner, I could stack them back up and put them in the fridge. Simple yet genius. But it was still too expensive.

Then I saw another display of them on the back wall with a big sign saying 30% off. Woohoo! Some things are meant to be!

So I got my shiny red reward. I wanted to get a body scrub too but I couldn't find one anywhere in the city. I know the body shop has them but I don't like the smells they come in there. I went to Lush but couldn't find any there.

When I got home, I realised my shiny red stack o' boxes wouldn't fit in my fridge. Damnit. But I took out the meat thingie at the top that I never use anyway - if I'm not eating meat straightaway, I bung it in the freezer - and now everything fits better. Then I put my deli meats in one of the red boxes and my cheeses in the other since I have no salad yet.

Image hosted by

Updated because I found a pic :)

good loss and let me tell you...anything red and shiny is a winner for me!!!!

(could you borrow someone else's camera? ;)

By Blogger Silverella, at 9:33 pm  

MELAMINE RAWKS! How pefectly old school. And I bet they look brilliant in red...

By Anonymous dietgirl, at 10:55 pm  

Melamine?? I will be checking it out at the shops today :-) I swear we should all get paid for our endorsements on these blogs LOL!

By Blogger Mary, at 5:14 am  

We do tend to give encouragement to a lot of products for free. I'm glad you found something that felt rewarding. Your accomplishment should not go unnoticed and now you have a reminder every time you open the fridge. Hey! Maybe it can work as a reward and a signal to keep going. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 6:10 am  

lol @ light saber! very cool ;)
hey well done on this weeks loss too! going great!

By Blogger Kt, at 7:48 am  

Yay for your new red reward. They look very interesting to me. Gotta luv the fact that you really wanted it and it was 30% off!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 8:58 am  

I saw these is a catalouge the other day! They look great! lol @ having to rearrange the fridge to fit them!!

By Blogger Leighanne, at 11:47 am  

I have a red tin one and they're great! Mine is looking a bit beat up, but let's call it well loved.

Re the Skippy plates: that's what I STILL eat off when I go to Nanna's!!

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 2:42 pm  

Well done on the loss. And the Light Saber idea I love. I have a remote with a red light that we have pretend duels with, and the Coco pops lightsaber spoons - we have 2.

Excellent reward pressie, it was meant to be.

By Anonymous Anonymous, at 8:31 pm  

(I don't have a stutter, just realised I commented on an old post as wasn't sure if you would read it.)

Oh, and if you're going to get a stick blender, I couldn't recommend highly enough a Bamix. The one I have is stolen from my dad who bought it to make my baby food. I am now 24. Nuf said.

Big congrats on the 25kg gone too, now onto 30kg you go!

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 2:12 am  

I love red, and I think they rock. What a cool reward. Good score at 30% off too.

By Blogger M, at 8:59 pm  


Weigh In Day

Another 800 grams gone. I'm down to 84.1 - it doesn't sound so dramatic, going from 84.9 to 84.1 and I'd have liked to get into the 83s but hey, I'm not complaining.

I wasn't sure how I'd go this week - the food has been good and I've been exercising like a mad thing, but I've also had my period and been eating some rather salty food this week.

Andrew and I got two big trays of ham and bacon at the market this week ($4 each - bargain). I haven't eaten ham or bacon for ages so am not sure how that will effect water retention etc. I also got some single serve pizza bases so last night I made a little pizza with bacon, pumpkin, capsicum and light cheese. It was so magically delicious and took no time at all to make.

Ha ha, it ended up being a woodfired pizza, Kathryn style. See I have one of those little toaster ovens and I put the pizza on a tray with baking paper under it then let it cook while I did the washing up. I looked over and the baking sheet must have curled up and touched the element at the top. The toaster oven was a hunka, hunka burnin' love!

I went to a new boxing class last night. It was the hardest class I've ever done in my life. I almost died. The first half was anyway. The second half, we had to boxing combos in partners. First I boxed and it wasn't too hard, then I had to hold the pads for my partner and they changed the combos. Oh man, these things were confusing. I couldn't remember all the moves and kept stuffing up. I think my partner was getting annoying with me because I kept putting the pads in the wrong place and slowing down her workout. So I'd apologise then she'd say it was okay. But I think she meant it more like - that's okay, just stop stuffing up. Arrggh! I don't know if I want to go back to that class because I don't like feeling like I'm letting someone else down.

After the class, I did some cardio - 30 minutes on the treadmill, 10 on the bike and 20 minutes on the ellicptical thingo - but in 10 minute blocks. I keep pushing myself harder at the gym, I feel like just doing a class isn't enough. I guess that's okay so long as I don't go too far.

Great loss!!
The pizza sounds yummy - even woodfire

By Blogger Leighanne, at 8:29 am  

I hate not being able to keep up/get it right at a class. I did bodypump for the second time tonight and I was SO lost.

I've just noticed we are almost exactly the same weight. I'm 84.09 kilos (i'm really a stones and pounds gal 13stone 5lbs, or 185lbs). Really enjoy your blog. By the way I liked the blue!

By Blogger Lainey, at 8:42 am  

Well done on the great loss and well done on all that gym work.

Oh dear, flame grilled pizza!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 12:05 pm  

I want some flame grilled pizza - now!
Congrats on your loss and thanks for your post. I have to tell you that we didnt get married by an Elvis impersonator, but if we ever go back we will!! Las Vegas is such a great place - you must go!!

The gym can be crazy like that - I did a body combat class and felt like the biggest unco in the world! Plus I was wearing a pair of gym tights that didnt fit right so I had to keep stopping and pulling up my pants! Not a good look!
Have a great weekend
v x

By Blogger missy vas, at 12:11 pm  

Congratulations on the loss! I also lost 800grams this week and am stoked as I seem to have slowed right down lately.
The pizza did sound yummy even though you did try and set it on fire


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 2:05 pm  

That pizza sounds like it was really yummy - maybe I should try to make my own rather than occassionaly having a bought one - that way I could have them more often couldn't I ???
Have a great weekend and take care !

By Blogger Me, at 2:14 pm  

Firstly, love the new look blog! Good going with the loss too, awesome!! Holy shit with the oven. Were you able to save the oven!? Lucky you didn't go have a shower or something.

I know what you mean about the exercise. It's hard enough not letting yourself down (which you aren't btw) but just that feeling of being responsible for someone else's workout as well is a bit tough. But maybe if you really like the class, the more you go, the better you will become hey :-)

I hope you have a great weekend matey!

By Blogger Mary, at 5:05 am  

Well done on your loss!

I used to go to Fitness First and do some Pilates classes there and sometimes I would get such attitude from other people in the class for bumping into them. Never mind that we were crammed in like sardines.
Anyway, I wouldn't feel too bad about the boxing class (it was your first night there after all). And you did brilliantly on cardio! 30 minutes on those elliptical trainer things and I was stuffed.

Have a great weekend!

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 11:16 am  

Oh, and if you're going to get a stick blender, I couldn't recommend highly enough a Bamix. The one I have is stolen from my dad who bought it to make my baby food. I am now 24. Nuf said.

Big congrats on the 25kg gone too, now onto 30kg you go!

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 2:07 am  




I posted a while back about having a meetup in December after the Christmas Fun Run - the fun run is on Wednesday 14 December at 6.30 pm at Albert Park.

For those who missed the original post, I thought it would be great to meet up afterwards for food and fun. If you want to come along and aren't running then that's cool too.

So spread the word! And come along if you can. Remember those Sydneysiders are having a meetup soon and we can outdo them :D


I didn't get myself a 25 kilos gone reward. I can't really think of anything I want/need so I'm thinking I'll wait until I lose 30 kilos and splurge out on one of those wand blender things (is that what they are called? Like a Magimix thing). I want a good one, cos I know the $20 supermarket ones are dodgy as. Any recommendations?

Hey Kathryn,

"Bamix" is the brand of stab blenders to get.. Mum's had hers for 20 years and it's still going strong!! isn't that a violent name.. stab blender?!


By Blogger Ashwee, at 4:51 pm  

I was going to suggest Bamix too, or a less expensive one but every bit as good is the Braun brand. I got it for Christmas last year and it is excellent. You can take off the blender bit and wash it, rather than worrying about electrocuting yourself by plunging the whole thing into the sink.

The Two Fat Ladies (remember them?) used to call the handheld blender "the kitchen vibrator" which I think is very funny!

It's worth getting one, they're so handy.

Hope you're having a great week :)

By Blogger Philippa, at 5:38 pm  

I would love to come to the fun-run / meet-up, but its just a bit too far away to justify, even after reading about Chubbymums shopping trips this week!!!!

I also loved your list, you're very interesting :-)

No tips on blenders, sorry!

By Blogger Emily, at 8:10 pm  

can't come to the meet sorry as I will be in NZ. Maybe next year.

By Blogger michelle, at 11:54 pm  

Hellooo! That is a top idea for a reward. We got this Braun Multiquick one as a wedding gift and it RAWKS! not only does it have the stab blender thingy, it came with a bonus whisk attachment and a small bowl thingy like a mini-food processor, perfect size for making pesto or hummus. It's really easy to clean too!

By Anonymous dietgirl, at 1:01 am  

I have the Braun Multiquick, just the stab blender, though, and I am just soooooo happy with it! I no longer have to take all the veggies or meats out of the soup to process them in the blender, I just use this inside the pot and the soups get oh so velvet!!!!

By Blogger Silverella, at 1:29 am  

I have one of the cheapo ones, and yeah... it's not especially great. Still, I don't have any hand mixer besides it, so in some instances it gets the job done!

Love the new look, btw. Very cute.

By Anonymous Mae, at 1:48 am  



I Can't Believe I Forgot...

6 Things I Hate:

I mean, to paraphrase Ralph Wiggum, hate: that's where I'm a viking. How to restrict myself to just six things!

1. My housemates. I ebb and flow with this, sometimes I don't mind them but at the moment they are getting on my nerves. They stand in the hallway talking loudly. They make noise at night. Late at night. They NEVER buy toilet paper - I am so sick of this that I refuse to buy it any more and have a secret stash. Since no one else has bought any, I think they have secret stashs too. Damn them. One of them, buys old cars and does them up then resells them. He parks them outside the house so there is never any parking in the street anywhere nearby so I have to lug my shopping from faraway.

And, get this, this is the worst. We live in an old house and one of the guys had his window open the other day. They are the old fashioned swing windows with old wooden frames and, because the wind was so strong, the hinges broke off. Now he has no window. Instead of fixing it or ringing the landlord to fix it, he's just left it. Now everyone walking along the street can see there is no front window! Who the hell would do that? Who? Luckily when I moved in, I had a huge paranoia attack and put about 50 locks on my bedroom door - big locks with very long screws (the screws are the key - you can have the best locks in the world but without sturdy screws, they are valueless - they are also the once that sit flush so you can't unscrew them. Yeah, I'm that paranoid!)

2. People who walk slow and block the street. If you are going to walk slow, at least walk to the side of the footpath so people can pass you. This is annoying enough in the city but extra annoying when it is on a walking track that is used for exercise. Think of someone other than yourself people. Don't hog the track. Don't walk 2-3 people abreast (or cycle like it either). This is enough to send me into an insane rage. Trust me.

3. People who think if they acknowledge their character flaws, they need do nothing more about them.. and that other people will in fact think it's cute or something. You know the type - they turn up late, again and just roll their eyes and say 'you know me... always late' or they stack on a hissy fit over trifles then say 'but you know I'm a drama queen'. Being honest about your faults doesn't excuse them.

4. Similarly, girls who say they are princesses and expect to be treated like it. I mean if someone wants to think they are a princess, then it's nothing to me. But when they expect to be treated better than anyone else or think they are special, then forget it. I don't care what your daddy says, honey, you are no better than me.

5. My internet connection. It's been as dodgy as lately. And slow. I hate that.

6. Another one that sends me into an insane rage - people who ignore the lap lane signs at the pool. They don't swim laps in the lap lanes but play with their kids or stand around chatting or other stuff. And people who swim the wrong speed for the lane. You have no idea how much this infuriates me. I used to fume silently, now I tell people. I'm like 'this is a lap lane, honey. The aqua play is over there.' Polite but firm.

That is the tip of my anger iceberg anyway. I didn't want to get into politics or any other can o' worms like that. I feel a little better now.

hehe i agree with that, i hate people that walk slow in the street, thanks for your comment

By Blogger Fiona, at 8:53 am  

I have never understood why people hog the path, or walk with 5 people and expect that they be allowed to all walk side by side and everyone else has to walk on the muddy grass. I generally just keep walking and hit them with my shoulders. I am a classy girl :)

By Blogger M, at 11:28 am  

Wow, this is the best post I have read in some time. I admire your honesty and candor. When I was younger, my roommates never chipped in either and it drove me bonkers, I tell you. Even now, my husband and I have a room we rent out and I don't think this guy has once bought laundry soap but uses ours continually - what an ass.

Anyway, I followed you here through Mae's blog and just wanted to say hi.

By Blogger snackiepoo, at 8:02 am  


Jumping on the favourite things bandwagon...

I thought I'd do this thing that everyone is doing, cos you know, if everyone else jumped off the West Gate Bridge, I would. Well maybe not. Does jumping off bridges burn many calories?

I think I'm going to struggle with this because I don't like that much stuff really.

Twelve movies I like:

Royal Tenenbaums
Rocky 3
The Hotel New Hampshire

... okay that's my complete dvd collection, might have to come back to this.

Eleven good bands/Artists

Flaming Lips
Beth Orton
Bruce Springsteen
The Spazzys (well not an all time fave but on high rotation on the ipod workout list)
The White Stripes
Tim Rogers
Evan Dando
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
PJ Harvey
Cold Chisel

Ten Things about me

I love wearing my jammies. I'd spend all day in my pjs if I could.

My sister and I produced and presented a tv show on CH 31 for 2 years. It was lots of fun and we got to meet some of our favourite bands but it broke our souls and I'm not sure if we'll ever fully recover.

Sometimes I think I will do anything to procrastinate instead of writing (like doing these lists). I don't know why because the one thing I want to do in life at the moment is finish my novel.

My least favourite fat roll is the one under my breasts. I hate that fat roll so much. When I was at my biggest, I went on holidays to Vietnam and a bunch of woman came up to me and, even thought their English wasn't the best, I'm pretty sure they were saying I had four breasts. That's probably the most humilitating experience of my life.

My mum always accuses my sister and I of not being grown up. She doesn't know our secret - we don't want to be.

When I was at my biggest, I had plastic surgery - mega liposuction. I'm still not sure if it was a good thing or not and I think the whole subject needs a post of it's own so I'll say no more atm.

I'm usually reserved around people when I first meet them but am getting more comfortable with revealing the "real" me.

I have done some wacky jobs in my life including phone psychic (which I can't spell), mystery shopper and factory work. For a while, a friend and I ran a shop and did market stalls. I made and sold fluffy, fake fur handbags. I did this while working full time and studying part time for my degree. And raising a child. I think I was insane.

I've travelled to SE Asia, Europe, NZ and the US. My favourite place so far as been Cambodia.

I have one son. Andrew. He is 18.

Image hosted by

(I made this picture of Andrew in Paint many years ago and I think it captures the essence of his Andrewness)

People always tell me I look too young to have an 18 year old son. I like it when they say that :)

Nine good friends - Nine! People have nine friends!

David (Sugar Lips)
Anita - my sister
Andrew - I always tell him that I'm his friend as well as his mother. He just glares at me (sometimes he tries to kick me). Then I tell him that we are like the Gilmore Girls. Andrew hates the Gilmore Girls and he'll never be Rory.
That's it. Sob, I don't have nine friends. Well I have other friends but not good friends and if I added them, they'd only be on the list to make up the numbers.

Eight favourite foods or drinks

This is a hard one because my favourite foods have changed so much lately.

Margaritas - I have drank my own body weight in margaritas and that is no mean feat, trust me.
Turkish Delight
Chai Tea - but it has to be made right
Cheese... good cheese. Especially vintage cheddars.
Gnocchi. I love gnocchi. I'm going to buy some from the Preston Market today to have for my dinner.
Summer Fruits - can't wait for all the yummy fruits to hit the shops. Especially lychees. I developed a love of these last summer. They are magically delicious.
Champagne and sparkling wines

Seven Things I wear daily

PJs - see above. I put them on as soon as I get home.

Pink fluffy slippers - when I was a kid I hated wearing anything on my feet. Now I hate having bare feet.

Trackies - got to workout every day, don't you know.

Runners - see above.

Bra - I could never be the type of girl who goes braless. Mr Gravity hasn't been kind to me.

Nail Polish - usually half chipped off.

Knickers. Except for last night when I got home from the gym and just chucked on an old pair of trackies. Then I dashed out to the supermarket and realised KMart was open so I went in for a look and found some cargo pants I wanted. Then remembered the no knicker thing and realised I couldn't try them on. Yikes. I bought them anyway and they fit (luckily, cos I wasn't thinking and ripped the tags off first).

Five things I do daily

Talk to David
Go online
Weigh myself - bad habit but I can't resist
Listen to RRR (I always forget to turn off my clock radio on the weekend)

Four Shows I watch

Hard one because I never watch tv. I forget I have tv. I wanted to watch the new John Saffran show on SBS this week but forgot until it was nearly finished then I had to move the antenna to get reception and that was too much effort.

I just finished watching Firefly on dvd.

Oh and I love the Gilmore Girls. I'd watch that if it was on.

Three places I have lived

St Kilda

Two Things I want

To finish my novel and get it published (and to have it become a bestseller then to sell the movie rights and have a huge blockbuster movie made from it and basically to sell more copies than the Bible and Harry Potter combined - may as well dream big)

To get to my goal weight - of course.

Although last night all I wanted was a Domino's Meatasaurus pizza. "Making Laws For Clouds" by Nick Earls is not a good book to read when you are dieting.

One Person I want to see right now

I can't really think of anyone. If I want to see someone, I go see them or call them up. I guess if Mr Jack White from the White Stripes turned up on my doorstep saying he wanted to take me away from all this, I wouldn't turn him away *weg*.

Hi there - congrats on getting under your 85kg goal.....that is really wonderful. Like the look of the new blog too. Have a great

By Blogger LeisaB NewMe, at 10:09 am  

Gnocch, cheese and champagne! I AGREE!

By Anonymous taylore, at 10:29 am  

Great post! I love the Gilmore Girls too. I don't know why I didn't put them on my list.

Hope the writing is going well!

By Blogger Philippa, at 11:18 am  

You have a lot more patience than I do to put forth the effort for the 12 to 1 favorite things. Whew! It is interesting to see though. I probably shouldn't be so lazy. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 1:06 pm  

Yes! The White Stripes! And Bjork! And a lot of other stuff you mentioned!

How fun - thanks for sharing!

By Blogger Zara, at 2:41 pm  

"it broke our souls"" That is exactly Ihow I feel about all the voluntary work I used to do..

By Blogger michelle, at 3:32 pm  

Love the look! :)

By Blogger Ang, at 3:34 pm  

I so love these lists! And I am so much like you with the pj's!

And you can actually wear them out too! Although I prefer the cotton or flannel material for pj's, being a pj freak I also have a few satin ones.

well, the pants go great with simple white tshirts and nice flat sandals for a summer night out. try it, it feels so free and yet kinda naughty too!!!

By Blogger Silverella, at 8:38 pm  

i love the list i might have to jump on the band wagon too and do the list.

By Blogger Fiona, at 9:36 pm  

woo! you have most excellent taste in everything!

By Anonymous dg, at 10:35 pm  

Your list is so cool, and will be waiting for your m.l. post with anticipation. My thoughts have been wandering down this path more often than not lately and I am very close to actually going to have a consultation. What does that say about my healthy mind!!

By Blogger M, at 11:30 am  

I have done the 12 things list as well. I think its reveals quite a lot about people! Your weight loss so far has been sensational - keep it up!

And I haev to say - Turkish Delight - YUMMO!!

By Blogger missy vas, at 11:40 am  

Thanks for sharing! We have some similar tastes and you seem like an alternative chick too. Yeah, you sound too young to have an 18 year old son but at least you'd have a more in tune relationship with your son (IMHO)?? My parents are from another generation and sometimes I wish I could just rock up and say, hey..look at my new tatt or whatever.

By Blogger Mary, at 5:11 am  



Waxing Thoughts

This morning I had to hand over my licence for ID. The receptionist asked me if it was my licence. I wasn't really paying attention and just said - yeah, of course. She looked at the photo again and said I looked like I'd lost a lot of weight since it was taken. I preened and thanked her. Then she looked at the photo again and said, "...but you were so pretty then."*

What the hell does that make me now? Some people should just stick to receptionisting and stop commenting on people's personal opinions. She should have seen me a couple of hours later after my killer session at the gym. I sure wasn't pretty then.

* I had done good hair and makeup for the licence photo. I had no good hair or makeup this morning.


One of the beauty salons near me is advertising a "Boyzillian" - which, I assume, is a brazillian wax for men. What do you think? Would you prefer your man less hirsuite? As much as I hate a hairy back, I think these is something emasculinated about a man who has hair removal done.


On the topic of waxing, I have a confession to make. I've always been rather anti "bimbo" magazines. I'll flick through a copy of Cosmo if I'm in a coffee shop and I'm bored but I'd never buy it. I don't really care about celebs or any of that other stuff they talk about. But lately I've started buying the most bimbo magazine of all - Shop Until You Drop magazine! Egads. The best thing about Shop Until You Drop is that they tell you the size range for all the clothes they feature. The worst thing is that most of them only go up to a 12 or 14!

Anyway in this month's issue they have a free Veet waxing strip. I just went to use it and it says waxing is not suitable for the elderly or diabetic. Why can't you wax when you are diabetic? I don't wanna be diabetic and hairy.


I know that getting fit isn't a competition, except against myself, but boy do I love it when I bet someone. At the gym today, the woman on the treadmill beside, who looked rather fit, kept checking out what I was doing and trying to copy. But she couldn't keep up. I was tempted to lean over and tell her that I'd been working out for 40 minutes before she'd even turned up.

Those "oh you lost weight..blah blah" situations can be so awkward! People just don't think but WHOO HOO for the compliment anyway :-)

Boyzillian?? I am not sure if I like the idea? Nope, don't think I do. I'd feel too sorry for him because of the upkeep afterwards.

LOL at the gym experience, go Kathryn!!

By Blogger Mary, at 5:51 pm  

I'd be tempted to give the receptionist a good slap! And no, I don't think I'd want my man to have a 'back, sack and crack'!

By Blogger Sue, at 7:33 pm  

You've changed the layout of the site! Looks great!

Boyzillian?! David doesn't like tweezers, let alone hot wax!

That receptionist needs to remember to bring her brain with her to work next time.

Good on you for powering on at the gym!

By Blogger Philippa, at 9:30 pm  

WTF? With the comment by the may have been pretty then Kathryn but you could tell the receptionist that you are hot now or something to that effect hehe.

Boyzillian, no no no - hair is good...not on the back...but down there, hair please.

I almost thought I had got lost in blogland, love the layout. Congrats on your loss a few days back - and your super gym effort...I am actually contemplating taking my fitness first pass with me to Perth...just in case. mwhahaha

By Anonymous Lucinda, at 9:41 pm  

Your blog looks great. Receptionists should keep their personal opinions to themselves. Didn't think I liked hairy men but I have discovered that I do!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 9:03 am  

I am with Philippa - loving the new look!
You should of told the receptionist that you are sure that she would have once looked pretty as well! Stupid Woman! Did ya slap her?
Hmm .. hairy men? I used to shudder at the thought but BF has hair and I love it now!

By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 9:26 am  



Ninjas of Shopping!

This morning, I met up with the very lovely Phillipa (who is even more charming and gorgeous in real life than she appears on her blog, who'd have thunk it?) for a shopping expedition along Bridge Road. Phillipa is a most delightful shopping companion. She is very tactful, unlike my family who tend to compare me to a fat cow more often than not.

Still, we showed Ninja-like restraint when it came to spending money. And Super Ninja restraint when sampling cheeses at the Richmond Hill Larder. Especially after sampling heaven in cheese form. The old Kathryn would have wrestled control of the cheese room (yes this place has a room dedicated to cheeses, they are my kind of people) from the cheese girl and gone into a feeding frenzy that would shame a troupe of half-starved sumos. But I'm the good new Kathryn now, good enough to wonder how many calories are in a cheese sample, although never so good as to refuse an offer of free cheese.

Shopping is very tiring. Even with time out for coffee and cheeses and a curry lunch, I conservatively estimated it as 3 hours of slow walking (or 679 calories). After that, I was tempted to skip Spin class tonight but in true Ninja style, I dragged myself there and put in a killer effort. Now I am very weary and am sure there is much more I want to say but my brain is floating loss in my head. I think I'll put on some television (I keep forgetting my television works now, tv good) and zone out for the rest of the night, because tomorrow I start the serious work of writing.

OMG can't believe you did Spin - I was buggered! Like you said, you'll sleep well tonight!

I had such a great time with you today, thanks again xo

By Blogger Philippa, at 10:08 pm  

And I can still taste that cheese!

By Blogger Philippa, at 10:09 pm  

Great that you met up with Philippa and went shopping. Well done on still going to spin class after too!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 9:09 am  

Did someone say cheese? Yes, I can hear that word from the other side of the world. It's great that you took small indulgences in something that you truly love, and then worked your arse off in spin class. Wow!

By Blogger Zara, at 3:08 pm  

Go Ninja Gal!!!!!
you kick butt.

By Blogger Ang, at 3:25 pm  

Hey, you Melbourne people! I wish we could meet up with you too!! I'm so happy to hear you two gorgeous girls met up :-) I think it's great to meet people you've been communicating with for quite a few weeks, months now.

By Blogger Mary, at 6:09 pm  




My BMI has me very confused. At the moment, I have a BMI of 30 (according to most charts, even this isn't consistent). Now I thought a BMI of 30+ = obese, 25-29 = overweight and 20-24 = normal, but apparently this isn't always true.

Because I obsess over these things, I use a veritable rainbow of methods for calculating and assessing my BMI and they all differ. It's enough to make a girl's head spin. I think I just need to pick one method and stick to it.

Since I've been losing weight, I pop into the Jam Factory every so often. They have a scale that gives you a print out of your weight, height and BMI. And believe me, it's a major breakthrough for me to get weighed in public (another thing for my anti-WW list) but I like getting the print out. I stick them in my weight loss book so I can compare them.

The last time I did it, I still got the "You are very much above your your recommended weight. Look after your weight. See you soon. THANK YOU" message. I fumed at the machine.

"Can't you remember me and give me some credit for the work I've done," I screamed, shaking my fist angrily, as my sister dragged me off.

Next time I go there, my BMI will be under 30. I'll get a new message.

The other day, I thought about this, wondering what it would be like to be NOT obese for the first time in living memory. Would my life be any different? Then I realised, I haven't been obese all my life. Maybe physically I have but there have been many, many moments when in my head, I've not been obese.

Regardless of size, I don't think anyone walks around thinking they are obese all the time, just like no one walks around thinking they are thin all the time. Most of the time, I don't even think about what size I am. I'm just me. Sometimes I'm the luckiest, happiest, most beautiful girl in the world, other times I'm wretched and full of self loathing. But I don't think that's related to weight (although being overweight doesn't help), I think that's just life. We all have good days and bad days.

I guess the weight issue comes into it because being overweight, limits what being me is all about. It boxes me into a corner. Say if I were out with friends, and we doing something like having a picnic in the sun with good food and a nice bottle of wine or two then the weight issue means nothing - it doesn't interfere with my enjoyment of the food or the wine or the company. I'm relaxed and happy. I can be me.

But say after lunch, someone suggests doing something else - maybe it's hot and everyone is going to strip off and have a swim or maybe everyone wants to hike up to the top of a big hill. That's when obese me takes over. Suddenly it's not about whether I'm having a good time, it's become about my body - my feelings about my body, my feelings about it's limitations.

As I lose weight, these limitations fall away. But I think it's not so much about being a certain weight or certain BMI or any other number. It's the mental process. My life isn't going to change overnight because my BMI changes from 30 to 29. It is going to change when I let go of the limitations I put on myself and, I think, the first step in the process is to actually recognising when I do this.

I sometimes think it is much easier for people who put on weight after they've grown up. Growing up being different because you are overweight, you learn to adjust, to compensate, to bow out to save embarassment. The excuses are out of your mouth before you even stop to consider what you want.

In some ways, that can seem rather sad but I prefer to look at another way. See most people as they get older, they limit themselves more and more. They begin to say "no" to things they would have once said "yes" too. But I'm doing the opposite. As I get older, my world is growing. My possiblities are becoming boundless.

Whoa! That's much deeper than I intended posting today and I hope it makes sense. I'll leave you with a far less serious thought for the day: Mascarpone stuffed apricots* might not be the healthiest treat possible, but they are surely worth every calorie!

*from Food Plus in Queens Parade if you live in Melbs.

What an amazing post. I have never thought about the obese mentality like that before. But it is so true. I am happy to say that I am much less limited now and obese M doesn't get as much of a look in anymore. Sometimes, on a bad day, it is harder to shake the memory but on a good day, it doesn't even come into it anymore.

Your future will be limitless. And how many people can say that :)

By Blogger M, at 11:21 pm  

I so can relate to what you've said, I've actually caught myself saying no or putting things off that I once would never... and that really saddens me.

I haven't been overweight all my life - I moved from a 12 to a 22 quickly in a year which CAN'T BE GOOD about 3yrs ago.

I was always a 'curvy' teen and a stick thin kid and I'm finally identifying what happened a few years ago...

What's sad is that I feel my whole life I've been fat, it's all I remember feeling and that is MESSED up. I like the whole perspective of your world growing and I'm trying to expand mine too... to not be so focused on one aspect (especially if I'm doing something about it) and start enjoying life again.

Oh the whole BMI thing must be annoying!!! I use BF% I guess because you can be a certain height and weight and still be healthier if you have more muscle - so don't get too detered by it.

Sorry this is such a long-winded post you've given me alot to think about.

thanks for sharing Hun!

By Blogger Dee, at 6:03 am  

What a great post!
I am trying to desperately shut out Fat Nancy who still keeps on wanting to interfere in my new life. But then other times she doesn't get a look in. eg Fat Nancy would never ever wear shorts and a small t-shirt (in fact I have been with BF for over three years and he never saw me in shorts until recently). Now Thinner Nancy will get up in the mornings and automatically reach for them.
I also feel that as I get older my world is opening up and just getting better and better.


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 9:47 am  

I never ever had the obese mentality so it came as a bit of a shock to the system two years ago when my weight firmly planted me in the obese BMI category! It was only then, upon learning that I was "obese" that I began to think of myself as obese. Sure, I thought of myself as fat, but the word obese was a word that only applied to other people, not me. As it stands, I was only in obesity land for a couple of months before heading back into the land of the overweight.

I don't think I've stopped doing things as an adult as a result of my weight. I've certainly grown out of clothes but I never felt too bad about going swimming and things like that. I think if any stranger saw me in a swimsuit (as has happened several times) they have automatically assumed I was pregnant. This used to really offend me but now it makes me laugh!
Thanks for this post, it's given me a bit to think about.

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 10:09 am  

First, those apricots sound delish... yum! They need to get those over here in NYC!

Second, what a beautifully insightful post. I don't know if it's easier to be thin for your life and then gain weight... I've actually often thought that would be harder. I don't know any other way, really. I was thin once, for a brief few years and didn't know it (the disadvantage of being taller and heavier than everyone in my grade), so I may as well have always been fat.

While it would surely be easier to grow up thin, I think the mental anguish of getting fat older is probably bigger than the mental anguish of just always being big - except, of course, that you've been dealing with it "forever". Still, my husband married me fat, he loves me fat... my friends who got married thin and gained weight all have marital issues - a lot of the problem is in their own heads (they don't feel attractive, so they shut out their hubs), but not all. Some husbands really struggle with still feeling attracted.

Anyway, this was really great... I'm so glad you shared it all - and I love that your world is just opening up to you! I feel that way, too!

By Anonymous Mae, at 12:17 pm  

this is a great post. It really gets you thinking. While Ive never been obese, and was overweight for only the last year, I definitely agree with some of the mental aspects.

I have always been "the fat sister". I have two younger sisters who both manage to eat whatever they want and stay slim. Catherine is slim but muscular/athletic. Jennifer is slim and very swanlike. Very delicate.

But I have always had to watch what I eat. And although I wasnt overweight, I was very unfit.

So it definitely is a mental struggle when it comes to someone inviting you to do stuff.

I commend you for the changes you are making to your life and body!

By Blogger { the.Moranbah.Scrapper }, at 4:59 pm  

Kath, thank you for a wonderful day today!

By Blogger Philippa, at 8:34 pm  

Don't know if it's of any help, but I only know of one way to calculate BMI: height in metres squared and then divide your weight in kg by that number. Eg. 1.7m * 1.7m = 2.89, (goal weight) 62kg/2.89 = 21.45.

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 9:35 pm  

marscapone stuffed figs from the deli cafe in Sassafras...mmmmm...i so know what you mean about the apricots - they are sooo worth it!!!

i really love your post, i can relate to so much of what you said. You are such a true inspiration.. well done on your progress so far Kath.

Maybe next time I can join you & Phillipa on your shopping trip! maybe the Melb girls should do a Christmas lunch/dinner too like the one Mary is organising for Sydney?? what do u think?

talk soon xox

By Blogger Angel, at 11:18 pm  




I learnt a valuable lesson last night. Yesterday, I'd been thinking about going back to a shop where I'd seen $50 cowboy boots but decided I shouldn't because I'm trying to be frugal. So last night I was heading out to pick up Andrew to go to the movies. I got pulled over by the breatho - blew nothing, of course, but one of the cops seemed determined to get me for something. I forgot to put my current rego sticker on the car and he thought he could bust me for being out of rego so I had to wait impatiently while he phoned about that. He finally got back to me, and told me that he was giving me a ticket for not having a current sticker. Who knew you could even get fined for that? I mean, it's not hurting anyone. So anyway, if I'd got the cowboy boots and stayed home last night, I'd have been much better off. Plus I'd have saved all the money I spent at the movies!

I drove off with many scathing things I could have said burning on my brain but I said no of them. I always think it's best not to give cheek to anyone carrying a gun.

All the way to the movies, I told Andrew off. For it was his fault I got fined. I don't care if he's left home, putting the new rego sticker has always been his job.

Oh and here's a very handy hint if you live in Melbourne: The choc tops at the Nova have around 800 kj compared to around 2,000 per choc top at Village. Last time I went to Village, I nearly died when I read the info on the back of the choc top. That is more than a Drumstick even and it was a very small choc top, they must make it with pure lard or something.


I discovered a good/bad thing at the market yesterday. One of the stalls sells lollies and all kinds of yummy biscuits. This is a good thing if you feel like a little treat - I could never trust myself to buy a whole packet of biscuits and use them sensibly, but it is nice to be able to buy just one or two. But it is bad when one litte treat becomes three or four. I didn't need a small bag of chocolate sultanas (boy, are those things fattening!) plus a couple of iced vo vos, plus some gingernuts. Next time, one treat and one treat only.

The same stall also sells the best blueberry bagels. They make an excellent breakfast (or lunch) with some honey and low fat ricotta.


It seems like everyone out there is preparing for Christmas - with their super dooper Christmas challenges. I thought about jumping on the bandwagon but Christmas isn't very inspiring for me. We are having the lowest key Chrissie day imaginable. Because my family came over in September, we've decided not to get together. None of us are particularly flush and airfares are so expensive at that time of year. So it's just going to be Andrew and I. Andrew is the ultimate no-fuss, no-muss boy. He'll eat Christmas lunch and then go back to his Nintendo. He actually told me that and I said that wasn't showing much holiday spirit or family togetherness. So he offered to let me play Nintendo with him!

Our plans are thus - he's making a chocolate ripple cake because it's his favourite. Good for me too because I hate them so won't be at all tempted. I might make a big fruit salad for myself. We are just going to grab some ham and turkey from the deli and I'll fix up a couple of salads - potato, because Andy loves it (and so do I, who doesn't love potato salad? Must look for a good and not too damaging recipe) and some healthier salads. Maybe I'll get a dvd we can both watch for after lunch.

I can't believe Christmas is almost here - where the hell did the year go???? Sad thing was I never realised til I walked into Woolies and all the tinsel was everywhere and i'm like HOLD UP are we near Xmas??

I'm not too fussed on Christmas either (which is weird because my family always makes such a big deal) it's never just immediate either it's streams of aunts,uncles,second cousins... Maybe that's why I'm glad it'll just be me and my flatmate this year - Low key sounds relaxing to me ;D

(gotta love me some potato salad too! - that stuff is hmmm making me salivate now LoL!)

OH yea and that cop is an arse.

By Blogger Dee, at 10:51 am  

dont you hate the cops always trying to pin ya for something. oh well i guess shit happens. how was the movie any ways. what did you see.
yeah xmas is a bit over the top these days, im a practical person and i hate getting inpractical presents and things, this year my siblings there is 4 of us are all going to put $20 in each and go in lotto and see if we can win. better then wasting the money on stupid pressies.
anyhow enough dribble have a good weekend

By Blogger Fiona, at 12:00 pm  

There is some show place on Brunswick St that is closing down that had shoes for $10 and boots for $20 - I think they are near the bookstore (on that side of the street anyway). Bugger about the fine. I am using xmas as a motivator as i have not seen alot of my family since xmas - so I would want/need them to notice something! Is that stall at the preston market? If not, there is one like that there. I agree with you about the laundrymat - and on weekends besides workers there are a few odd balls that hang out at mine.

Have a super dooper ;) weekend!

By Anonymous Lucinda, at 12:48 pm  

I think the universe was telling you to buy the boots...oh well, you'll know the signs for next time.

I am not a big fan of xmas, the best thing for me is that now I have gotten old enough to choose (and recently separated/divorced parents helps!) I make the most of the time off and catch up with like-minded friends. Another thing I do is flit amongst their family bashes and hope I make it to each in time to see the kids open their presents - it's almost like I'm five again..

(A totally unrelated Q: What does the '*' mean next to my name on your blogroll? Just curious ;o))

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 10:58 pm  

There's definately a message in there for me. My rego expires in December and the sticker is still sitting in a bowl on the sideboard! The other thing they can do you for is if you have the old and the new sticker stuck on your car....I guess the cops have to get their Christmas booze up money from somewhere!

I love Christmas and am up before the kids on Christmas morning. I've got a photo of my then 4 year old still asleep on Christmas morning, soooo cute. I love that my kids are so excited and this year my brother will be here from the UK. This will be the 4th time I've seen him in 23 years so it's going to be an extra special family Christmas.

By Blogger rolypoly, at 11:33 am  

Bummer about not buying the boots but getting fined instead! I love shoe shopping.
Sounds like you have a quiet Xmas planned which must be a good thing. We always have a very easy, relaxed small Christmas gathering with my family and BF kids which is great. No fuss, no stress.
Christmas seems to be getting shoved in our faces earlier and earlier .. I live in a smallish town but shops started selling Christmas decorations last month! Give us a break - it is still just under two months away!

Hope you had a lovely weekend


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 3:09 pm  

maybe you could write a letter regarding the cop. It could be worth a try, they might let u off the fine. Its not like u didnt have a warrant.

Welldone on passing the 25kg mark too!

By Blogger Kt, at 3:28 pm  



Weigh in day

I wasn't really expecting a loss this week; not that I've binged or anything, just had a few nights out plus cup day. Yesterday I had my farewell lunch at work, but that wasn't too much damage - I got a steak sanga (with mash and salad instead of chips) - it was a huge steak so I cut off what I thought was around 100 grams and left the rest. Mash is an unknown quantity though when you don't make it yourself, but I love a mash I don't have to make myself.

Even though I didn't want to get my hopes up, I really wanted to break the 85.1 kilos - that would make it a 25 kilogram loss.

So, I got on the scales this morning and .... 84.9 kilos. Woohoo! I'm happy with that! I think I'll have to be careful next week but I'm so pleased at the moment.


I've been thinking, after my entry yesterday, how strange it is the way we are motivated by different things. A lot of people seem to need to make that financial commitment - either paying for Weight Watchers or a personal trainer or committing themselves in some other way. Me, I'm the opposite. Once I've made a commitment with cash, I feel like my responsibility has ended. I've paid for them to do their stuff. I guess the secret is self-knowledge - once you work out what motivates you, then you can work with that.

Although I'm not that sure 'motivation' is the right word. YP wrote a post recently with some interesting things to say about motivation and willpower, and I really think for me anyway, it isn't about motivation but about commitment. Way back when I started doing this, I made a commitment to myself to exercise six days a week and, except for illness and injury, I've kept that commitment. The exercise has changed but I do it at least six days a week even if I get home from work and I'm tired and I have a lot to do and I really don't feel like it. Not because I'm a saint or have super willpower, but because I've made that commitment. I know if I start skipping a day, then it's easy to make excuses to miss another day, then another. As much as I hate Nike with their sweatshops and dodgy practices, they do have one of the most powerful advertising slogans ever (I guess that happens when you spend more on your advertising budget than your entire workforce in SE Asia /end political rant) - Just do it.

Anyway, I'm off to celebrate my first day of unemployment with a run (well okay, a walk) along the creek then I'm taking my son the market for vegie shopping followed by lunch.

Well done on the loss! That's fantastic!

You're absolutely right - being motivated enough to exercise regularly is not as easy as it sounds. It is hard to get out there after a long day, or when you're just too tired. I always tell myself how much better I will feel once I've done it, that usually gets me off the couch or out of bed! Congratulations on sticking to your goal of 6 times a week!

Have a great weekend, see you Monday xo

By Blogger Philippa, at 11:25 am  

Sub 85kg - you champion!!

I agree completely on the idea of commitment. When I was 10yo I became a vegetarian and it has been the easiest decision of my life. I will simply never eat meat again. I knew that then and I know it now, 14 years later. I try to dredge up that conviction and apply it today; there are some behaviours that while they used to be acceptable, are not anymore - does that make sense?

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 11:46 am  

Congratulation on the loss. That is great. Well done on your exercise and have fun on your first unemployed day. I may be joining you soon :)

By Blogger M, at 12:28 pm  

Well done on the loss. Enjoy your weekend

By Blogger Sue, at 12:45 pm  

Congratulations on getting below 85kgs! Wonderful feeling isn't it!

have a great weekend


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 2:17 pm  

Just do it! For sure it is too easy to start making excuses - you are very right. :) A

By Blogger Ang, at 4:20 pm  

woohoo for the 80 and a half girl.
it must feel great to have lost a massive 25kg, i have lost 13kg and feel so much better for myself so i think it myst feel wonderful
keep up the great work and have a great weekend

By Blogger Fiona, at 7:20 pm  

Congratulations, Kathryn. Your commitment to yourself is so much more valuable than willpower. I like what Beth says over at Act Boldly, "when I do good, I feel good."

Seems too simple, right? But it is what really "works."

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 9:31 pm  

Congratulations on the loss! You are doing a great job!
Yay for your commitment to reaching your goal and have a lovely time deciding what to do next with your time. Have fun for a while!

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 10:46 pm  

Great news about the loss and you lived a bit this week as well! Yourae going so well with the exercise. BTW Merri Creek.. I spent my childhood playing at Merri Fawkner, those were the carefree days. Have a great weekend and enjoy the fact that you do not have to go to work on MOnday.

By Blogger michelle, at 10:50 pm  

Congrats on the weigh in!

I started out with a 7 day a week goal, then it dropped to 6, now it seems to be between 5-7 depending on my mood. I should bump in back up to 6. I only have the one workout outfit, next time target has a sale, i'll go and buy more.

Swim plans have been changed (see update) - but I hope to go once before I go to Perth, for a change of scenery if anything else.

Have a great weekend


By Anonymous Anonymous, at 11:53 pm  

Well done babe!! I agree with working out what works for you and then going with it. Everyone is motivated by different means for sure and I think this may have something to do with our own values, ethics etc too. I don't think any way is wrong or right, just different.

Commitment is certainly very important for me with this journey too. Some days I just don't want to do anything but then I hear Katey Weighty (and now Amelia too!!) telling me to DO IT ANYWAY :-)

I hope you are having a real nice weekend. Catch you soon.

By Blogger Mary, at 8:15 pm  



Weight Watchers: Cult of Evil?

Okay, for starters I'm not all that anti-Weight Watchers but hey, it's a catchy title! I've just been thinking about this because sometimes I feel like I'm the lone non-WW in the sea of weight loss blogs, the sole counter of calories rather than points. I have joined WW a couple of times in the past and it did nothing for me. I think because I wasn't ready for it at the time - just joining means nothing, you have to follow the program as well. I know it works for some people, I see evidence of it on your blogs, but I thought today I'd go through my reasons for NOT joining Weight Watchers.

  1. It costs money. That's the biggie. When I started getting serious about losing weight, way back at the beginning of the year, my mum and sister both joined WW. Since I didn't have a cent to my name, I decided I'd lose weight on my own and I'd show them that I didn't need their fancy Weight Watchers memberships. I could lose weight with paying $16 a week to get weighed. And I did too!
  2. There seems to be this Weight Watchers mentality, which I'm sure none of you have because you are far too sensible. But I'm sure everyone knows someone who eats nothing at all before their weigh in so they are their lightest possible weight then leaves the meeting and goes home via the Macca's drive thru cos they don't have to worry for another week. Sure the occasional treat is good for you, but this seems to perpetuate a binge or starve mentality.
  3. You can't get weighed naked. Well, not at any of the meetings I went to. Maybe there are WW meetings out there were the members happily strip off and jump on the scales. Even so, I'd rather save my nudie weigh ins for the privacy of my own room.
  4. The people who join WW because they need to lose a couple of kilograms. Sure it can be hard, well so I've been told, but they still shit me. A friend of my mum's joined WW even though she was within her healthy weight range. I don't know how these things work with WW but that didn't seem right to me.
  5. I hate the meetings. That talking bit. It bugs me so much. I guess it depends where you are coming from but since I've been overweight all my life, I know more about weight loss than just about anyone, trust me. I don't need to be told what to do, I just need to do it. And I have a total aversion to anyone telling me stuff I already know.
  6. I feel like they are always trying to flog you stuff. Like the $16 you pay isn't enough, you have to buy the cookbooks and the other stuff as well.
  7. Just the whole "cultish" feel to it, like when you are sitting in the lunch room at work and they are all talking about points and other "secret" weight watchers things.
  8. Finally, and this is a big issue for me, I need to do this without feeling like I'm answerable to anyone but myself. I've mentioned this before, I think. It's like I have this thing where part of me needs approval but part of me needs to rebel. It has happened every time I've began a weight loss program in the past. I start off fine, and I lose weight so I get the praise and I'm happy. But then I think I can have just a little of this or a little of that and no one need know. And it works, for a while. I have it all - the approval and the rebellion. Then it stops working and I gain weight, or don't lose, so I lose the approval. Then I get hurt and mad and go into "I'll show you" mode. Because you know it really shows people when you have a monster binge. So that leads to more disapproval, then more binging, then me dropping out completely. The only way I can lose weight is to be responsible for myself, not to pass control over to a WW leader or a doctor or a personal trainer, because otherwise the weird-arsed mind games begin. WW works for some people but not people with my own particular brand of insanity.

Of course, there are some things I miss out on, like the support at the meetings, which I think would be good. I guess you can't have it all.

Time for my walk now. If anyone else out there isn't doing Weight Watchers, I'd love to hear from you.

I liked the title :)

I am one of those non - sensible people that does not eat or drink before her weigh in (I have to stop doing this)...I know it's silly, and I hope to weed it out by xmas. But I don't go to maccas after - but I do have lunch :)

There was a woman who joined up last week, and did not look like she was over the 5kg minimum at all - I mean usually you can sort of tell, but with this woman, she looked like a rake.

I use most of the points books etc I bought last time I went - even though now they have fiddled with the points a bit - I am not prepared to shell out of the updated versions.

It is expensive, but at the moment I don't trust myself to go it alone - plus I don't want to quit and then go back...this is my 3rd and final time at ww, if I leave or quit or give up this time, I am not going back.

It is a bit of a cult - and everyone seems to know someone that is in it. Oh, and I don't own scales - one: so I don't weigh myself every single day, and two: because i would cheat :(

Great post by the way, It will be interesting to see the feedback you get on it.

By Anonymous Lucinda, at 9:00 pm  

Hi Kathryn

I too am a good old fashioned calorie counter. I've been to WW before and I lost about 10lbs on it. I know it can work but so can most diets- if you just stick to them.

The reasons I choose to do it alone are very similar to you. I don't like feeling answerable to anyone and even more so- I don't like failing. If I put on a pound or two I am annoyed enough about it without having to appear contrite or sorry to a ww leader type person.

I do grudge paying the money and I would rather put that towards my gym membership and I can't always guarantee to make it at the same time to the same place each week.

I also cannot stand some of these people who go. I'm talking about these twee woman who have nothing to do but devote their time to losing a few pounds in order to get back into their twin set and pearls and manage to to do it successfully! You know- the kind that say, oh I can't possibly eat all that.

By Blogger Lainey, at 9:30 pm  

Great post Kathryn and some very valid comments.

I haven't joined WW, I have just been following the program. My best friend joined, and she got me the points guides, which I've been using, and I've been buying the magazine, which is actually a very good read. I didn't want to shell out $16 a week to get weighed - primarily because I couldn't afford it, and because it was Hobart I was worried I'd run into people I knew there (pride issue more than anything). I knew I could do it on my own if I really wanted to, and I prefer a nude weigh in too! Also,like you, one of my pet peeves is having to sit and listen to someone rabbit on about things I already know about(my high school English classes were VERY painful :b)

I do detest the way they try to flog their food products at meetings - as if we need more food! That was one of the main reasons my mother in law left - she worked as a recorder for about three different meetings in Hobart for years and years, and eventually threw in the towel because the "sell sell sell" was totally against what she believed the purpose of the company and the meetings was all about. A sign of the times, I guess.

Mary made an excellent suggestion on her blog a few months ago, recommending that if people join WW they should do it via the At Home program and start a blog for support and accountability, rather than go to the meetings, which I think is an excellent idea.

I'll be interested to see how other people respond to what you've written.

Looking forward to Monday!!

By Blogger Philippa, at 9:37 pm  

Kathryn, I'm with you all the "weigh" down the line on the anti-WW points, particularly with the defiant disorder part -- any hint that I've seduced someone else into the weight loss scheme and I have someone to rebel against, which I do. I have joined WW numerous times in the past, forked over my money and then realized that clutching the books they gave me dont' actually lead to any real weight loss. I lead to my own weight loss or I don't. I believe that it's a sensible program, but it's also a very obvious, sensible program -- eat portion controlled meals, exercise, think about what you're doing. Don't need it because if I can't lose weight without WW, I can't lose weight with it. The accountability of being weighed in is attractive and motivating to some people, but I always saw it as the enemy of my ability to break free of depending upon other people for actions which, as an adult, I very correctly have to perform myself.

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 11:00 pm  

See? There are more of us out there than one might think...

I lost 10kg with WW 3-4yrs ago (87 - 77kg), but went off the scheme and it went all back on ++++. I think it was a bandaid solution - not eating also makes you lose weight, as long as you stick to it - and I didn't want to be "on an eating plan", albeit a flexible one, for the rest of my life.

The catch cry at the time was about no food being off limits, and while there is mention of needing to eat so many points from each food group, I found the focus to be more about simply sticking to points - even falling under if you wanted to lose more quickly.

A year ago I went in with my bf to his dr's appointment and the dr turned to me and said "heart disease, diabetes, the inability to fall pregnant - how do you feel about these conditions?" I was floored! I have been overweight for years and no dr had ever mentioned it. Doc asked me if I had tried to lose weight and when I said WW had worked he quickly cut me off and asked me to look in his full-length mirror and tell myself that. Where had this guy been all my life??! It made me realise that I need to overhaul my eating and exercise in a way that is not following any programme. i know WW tries to give you guidelines in which to do that, but I would just manipulate them to my "advantage". This really says more about me than WW, but I know I wasn't the only one doing it.

My aims now are to see food as fuel, not an indulgence, and my body as a machine that deserves the best fuel available. Emotional eating needs to go (in my experience WW didn't address that) and should be replaced with something positive. I need to recognise that being healthy is for life so the odd not-so-perfect choice is merely a stone in my Birkinstock; I stop, shake it out, and keep going.

Whatever tack each of us take, we need to make it work, really work, for us. The great thing about our online community is that you can borrow bits from other people and make your weight loss journey suit your individual needs.

By Blogger CaramelKitKat, at 11:48 pm  

Loved the blog. I'm down 18 pounds without WW, and by limiting bread, potatoes and pasta. And walking on the &*^% treadmill, which is my sworn enemy (though I'm trying to readjust my attitude).

WW was too infrequent for me. I like frequent support and I find I get it by reading a variety of weightloss blogs. So many of you out there are terrific writers. This way I get a daily fix, usually while I'm eating lunch, and it doesn't cost me anything.

By Blogger Haloranch, at 9:56 am  

Great post Kathryn and I think it is great that you address ideas and concerns you have, even knowing people follow the ww plan.

When I finally pulled my finger out and decided I was going to lose weight and get healthier my mind turned to the only non-pre-packaged meal way I knew how. WW points. I didn't join and whilst I have been crashing their meetings from time to time to buy myself some snacks and books, I have not shelled out a cent for the priveledge.

The internet has been a wealth of info for me, and the community of the blogs far outweighs any meetings I have been too in a previous experience (10 years ago). The anonymity of this place allows people to open up and talk about real issues rather than the stuff we only think people want to hear, which is what happens in a face to face situation.

If I were honest I would have to say that I don't know how to count calories. I would have to make a concerted effort to work that out. WW seemed like a tool that would work for me - and it has - but like you said I have done the work - noone else.

As always Kathryn, a great read.

By Blogger M, at 12:27 pm  

Hi there ive been reading your blog a bit, so i thought id commemt esspecially in regards to non WWers. I brought the at home kit last year it didnt do anything for me, because i worked out that food wasnt my problem exercise was. I am cals/points concious but ultimatly for me the 1/2 hour, 2 point bonus walk a day just didnt cut it.
please have a read at my blog ive just started its pretty lame but im new to it!!

Keep up the great work!!!! Good luck

By Blogger zigs, at 4:15 pm  

Hi Kathryn

I want to tell you, I love your blog. Everything you write is something I find myself relating to, and yet I havent commented in ages, sorry!!

I go to WW and I work as the weigher (which has been an eye-opener!). My weigh-in is in the evening, and I eat all day, but I tend to eat fairly similiar each weigh-in day (and most days during the week) and I try not to eat / drink after 2pm (just a cut off time I chose. I think that would just be silly to eat and drink close to weigh-in, it would not give me an accurate comparison each week) I dont binge after weigh-in, although I used to!

I hated paying $16 per week, but really needed to be accountable to someone each week, so I asked to work at ww (free meetings). I now feel strong enough to go it alone, and I will be in 3 weeks when I finish up working at ww (have been there 18 months)

My leader is lovely and we do not push any products or cookbooks, but I notice when we have other leaders fill in that they push the products.

Anyone can join if they have at least 5 kg to lose (so they need to be 5 kg heavier than the minimum weight for their height) I see some real tiny people join, and they think they are huge! Its crazy!!

A great post Kathryn!!

By Blogger lms, at 6:08 pm  

agree, agree, agree... you are so on the money here. especially the starving before weigh-in/macca's on the way home thing. i most loathed the smugness of the weigh-in staff... "Oh, you've GAINED! Tsk Tsk!". yet 90% of the time the weighers seem to have been there forever and never get any smaller. i am glad to be out of that cult.

hurrah for us calorie counters :)

By Anonymous dg, at 12:44 am  

I don't follow WW either, I just count calories on DC. While I do believe that groups such as WW provide great support and motivation, I couldn't get my head around the following;
1. The Points system. I'm one of those people that wants to know exactly what is in her food (in terms of fat, carbs, protein and calorie content). While I acknowledge counting Points simplifies matters, I just can't bring myself to say "Oh that's only two points" based on the calorific and saturated fat content. I need every morsel of info I can get (the librarian in me insists on knowing everything!!)

2. It is quite expensive. Diet Club is much cheaper, has a wealth of information and supportive forums to chat to other people.

3. I can't deal with public weigh ins. I'd much rather weigh myself in the comfort of my own bathroom, nude, first thing in the morning. I have an at home, one person support network to applaud me when I've lost and encourage me when I've gained.

That said, they are my only grievances against WW. I think any weight loss program that advocates the safe and sensible way to losing weight will always rate in my book.

By Blogger another sarah ..., at 4:25 pm  

Mmm, being a WW person I'd have to disagree with it being a "cult of evil" LOL :-) I just really needed help with losing weight. I tried doing it myself and I tried Lite 'n' Easy (lost weight but put it back on). They didn't work for me because I didn't actually learn anything. Whilst I have been doing WW, I have learnt so much about healthy eating/living and now cook!

The meetings can be daggy but I went to the ones in Newtown NSW and it was filled with some really cool people. I've made some great friends in the area now from lots of different "scenes" and I wouldn't have met these people otherwise. I feel like I'm part of the community now. They do talk about the products but I'd like to think I'm an intelligent, conscious consumer and will make up my own mind.

I just think of WW as a tool and I've paid for a good basic education in health which is so important to me now. I am really impressed with how much I have learnt over the months not only about eating better but also getting to know my own body.

I understand that it doesn't work for everybody though and I totally respect this. I think any program you can get your head around and it works for you is great!

By Blogger Mary, at 9:27 pm  



Melbourne Cup (o' Lard) Day and Challenges

I started the day with the best intentions, a 7 km walk along the Merri Creek. I've been wanting to walk from my place to the zoo which is 8 km just to prove to myself that I can walk 8 km. There is a sign near here that says the zoo is 4 km away so that's what I was going to do. The only trouble is that the sign is confusing - I thought the walk was along the Merri Creek trail but no, that goes nowhere near the zoo. When I worked that out, I had no idea how far I'd walked but judging by the dodgy maps along the trail, I'd say 7-7.5 km sounds about right. Arrghh.. by the time I got to the last km, the sun was out in full force and I'd left the shady banks of the creek. I was so happy to see my front door.

I'd been invited to a friend's place for drinks in the afternoon. Well, half way through lunch I got a message - they'd changed it to a lunch time BBQ instead. I looked at my avocado and vegemite toast and thought I could ditch the uneaten slice in the bin but it was really yummy avocado toast so I finished it, promising myself to have just one sausage at the BBQ. My net calories (food less exercise) for the day were in the negative so I had a bit of leeway to indulge.

Before lunch, we had bread and dips. Not your dodgy Chris's Hommus from the fridge at Coles style dip but scrumptious homemade dips - dhal and a walnut, dried tomato concoction (shudder to think of the fat in that). I had one of those skinless sausages in bread. Then I had to try a big, fat Cornish sausage (kind of like a Cornish pastie in sausage form).

At that point, I was full but not doing too bad. So we watched the race and I won the sweep and I had a couple of wine spritzers (aren't I doing well? I used to be a total cup day lush and would need a nap by the time the race started. Seriously, I'd never even heard of Makybe Diva before cos every year I'm napping).

Then we headed to the park and lazed on the grass, grazing on dips and breads and crackers and I think there was some cheese there somewhere and then apples soaked in Baileys (surprisingly good). I think I ate a lot but, after drinking a 1.25 litre bottle of Diet Coke plus at least twice that in water, I find it hard to judge.

At least I was the voice of reason when going out for dinner was mentioned! Eating dinner after that feast? Arrghh, no way! I thought about going for a swim but was worried I'd sink.

So I came home and worked out an estimate of calories. I'd thought sausages were about 1,000 calories each but they are way less! Still not something I want to eat every day but a very worthwhile treat.

Tomorrow's going to be a light day, that's for sure (don't you hate the term "light day", sounds like a tampon ad). With lots of exercise. But I don't think I did too much damage.


Just to finish, before I roll my bloated body into bed, I had a thought while walking this morning. I do a fair bit of walking but my walking is mostly random - I'll walk home from work or whatever and try to do it as fast as possible but you can't really time walking through the city - a run of luck, good or bad, with traffic lights can mean up to 15 minutes difference either way.

So I was thinking I want to give myself two different walking challenges - one is to walk the same route - I have a route in mind that is around 4 km - and challenge myself to walk it faster each time.

The second challenge is to do a longer walk and increase the distance each time.

I figure this gives me a lot of flexibility and variety and with daylight savings is something I can do every day.

Good idea to set yourself a walking challenge. I am sure the winter walking challenge really started me off on walking and now I love it. It is such a great all over exercise.

By Blogger Slim Suzy, at 6:41 am  

I have to do a couple of walking challenges myself. When I was visiting Chicago and walking a lot, I realized how out of shape I am for outside walking (do almost all of it on a treadmill). So, starting this month, out the door I go for at least 3 sessions of 30-45 minutes each per week. It's a real battle to keep from slipping into an out-of-shape blob. :)

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 8:26 am  

Sounds like a decent walk but walking in the sun is never fun. Cup day sounds like it was fun for you and well done on the food/alcohol front! It could have been much worse. Great to see you giving yourself some walking challenges too. I love walking!

PS. With buying exercise DVDs, I have to pay full price for them. It's a mental thing. If I copy them or buy them second hand, I just don't use them. Weird huh!? If I pay for them in full, I am forced to get my money's worth out of them. It's just my spastic way of making sure I exercise. Walking/cycling I have no trouble with.

By Blogger Mary, at 12:45 pm  

Great idea to time yourself walking the same track.
I wish we had cup day off! No fair! (although I had today off anyway!) .....


By Blogger Thinner Nancy, at 3:11 pm  

Hope you've had a good day today - in spite of the searing heat! All I've wanted to do today is eat icecream, thank God there was none in the house!

Good on you for enjoying the Cup feast with your friends but not going overboard.

Hope you're somewhere cool!!

By Blogger Philippa, at 5:59 pm  

Isn't walking just fab! Go the walking challenge, make sure you record your results it will keep you on track for sure!

Personally I can't understand why its taken me this long to discover how fun it can be!

Keep up the good work!

By Blogger Ang, at 6:41 pm  

This is slightly off topic but you'll probably like my message anyway. You write a great blog!

I was just reading through some of your recent entries and it struck me: reading your blog is better than Weight Watchers meetings. Why? Because I can read the blogs every day and bump up my motivation. WW was only once per week, and I always found those weeks to be painfully long.

So thanks for letting us peek into your weight loss journey.

By Blogger Haloranch, at 6:43 am  


I Want...

I know of people who "put things out into the universe" - believing that if you make your wishes and desires known, some mystic force will look after you. I did this for years - writing lists and plans for losing weight. The "universe" sure knew what I needed, but the universe was like Groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons. Remember that line of this - "Willie hears ya, Willie don't care."

Other people, like my cousin, spend a lot of money in those New Age shops buying spells and magical rocks and things so that they make money, or find love or again, lose weight.

In the end, wishing and hoping and chanting don't burn many calories. We all know how to lose weight. The universe might give us the tools to assist with this but it isn't Pizza Hut, you know. There is no promise that your heart's desire will be delivered to your door within 30 minutes or it's free.

But there are a couple of things that I want to put out into the universe though, because I believe when it comes to shopping, the universe might be able to help.

I want:

  • a great pair of short. I hate walking in public wearing trackies and jeans aren't so great as the weather gets warmer. I went to Target yesterday, because I assume the universe isn't so accomodating as to bring the shorts to me. They had the shorts I wanted, a longer cargo style, but only in smaller sizes. I found a pair kinda the same in my size but kinda just isn't good enough.
  • a pretty sundress. I guess it's asking too much for the universe to deliver this before I go out for cup day drinks this afternoon.

I don't think that's excessive or greedy.

Good luck with the "want list" Grrrrr sometimes clothes shopping can just be so god damn frustrating!

Ps Thanks for the comments left on my site. Your a gem.

By Blogger Ang, at 1:05 pm  

We will look for these items on our shopping trip!

By Blogger Philippa, at 2:18 pm  

I think it is great that you are putting your 'requests' out to the universe but that you are backing it up with a visit to Target because you are right - I don't think that the universe does a DHL door to door delivery - lol !!
Take care and once again, thank you for putting a smile on my dial !

By Blogger Me, at 5:32 pm  

LOL. Did you find the sundress? I too am on the hunt for a pair of long shorts, or short longs (whichever I find first) in a lighter material that jeans. I am not game to wear anything on or above the knees so 3/4 definitely is my way to go.

I am a big believer of putting things out to the universe. BUT I also am a big believer in moving my arse to make those things come true. Whether it be love, money, or health. There is no point saying "I want to be rich" and then not put things into motion to obtain more money. There is no point saying "I want to be thin" then sit at home and eat pizza. There is no point saying "I want to meet Mr/Miss Right" then stay at home with a mud pack on your face. Putting the image out there, visualising where you want to be is only part of the plan. Actually doing something about it is the other.

This shopping trip of yours and Philippa's sounds like it is shaping up to be a mammoth one. Perhaps I should come and be the porter ;)

By Blogger M, at 8:05 pm  

I always thought the "put it out there to the universe" types were really attempting to convince themselves of what they wanted. I believe that once you convince yourself (right down to your unconscious resistance), the rest "magically" falls into place. Identifying what you wanted made you very focused when shopping. There's a lesson in there somewhere, and I think it may be: figure out what you really want and then go get it.

By Blogger The Troescher Team, at 10:33 pm  

I am someone who believes in putting things out to the universe but in saying that, it doesn't mean you don't have to work for it LOL. For me it's just something to focus on what I want and then go and bloody do or get it :-)

With shorts...look everywhere! Don't only go into shops you know or think are too small for you. I've leart that to be a good shopper, you need to look in every god damn shop and it will be found. True.

The dress, by cup did you go??

Your wants are certainly not excessive or greedy but you want them now! :-)

By Blogger Mary, at 12:38 pm  



current weight:
76.6 kg

start weight:
110.1 kg

total loss:
33.5 kg

goal weight:
70 kgs



boobs: 100 cm

waist: 81 cm

hips: 109 cm

thighs: 50 cm


Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-Rama

Week 1 - Drink more water

Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats


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