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iDiet[a weight loss story]
*kathrynoh at nemesis dot com dot au* |
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::30.11.05:: Today is Blah Day I don't know what's wrong with me lately. I'm just not a happy little vegemite. I've been exercising well but my eating is like a runaway train and my mood has been the blahest shade of blah. I think one of the problems is that that since I've stopped working, I need to get out of the house but getting out of the house usually means going to a cafe or somewhere like that and even if I choice wisely, the food is never as healthy as the stuff you make at home. I get frustrated with cafes because it seems like they are always trying to sneak baddies into your food - butter on the roll or a few chips on the side of the plate or fatty meat. Last night we went to a gourmet burger place in St Kilda. I got a chicken burger and it was fantastic. The chicken was grilled so it was pretty healthy. The only problem was it had aioli on it. That stuff is so high in fat. I didn't realise until I got home and looked it up. What is aioli anyway? Is it like mayo with added lard? I don't even like the stuff but I didn't think to ask for it without. I need to be much more on the ball when I eat out. The other thing is to NOT eat out so much. All calorific concerns aside, it costs too much money. Okay now and then but not all the time. Maybe I could make a nice sandwich or a salad and go to the park or somewhere and eat it. Then I'd be getting out of the house but not spending money. I could even pack a picnic lunch and go for a long walk. Another problem is lack of sleep. I think sleep is just as important as eating well and exercise. But lately I've been neglecting that side of things. I must sleep more. Oh yeah, plus I think I'm putting too many expectations on myself. Like if I go to a class at the gym, it's not enough to do the class any more. I have to stick around and spend time on the treadmill or the cross trainer. Then I feel bad if I do less than an hour of additional cardio on top of the class. Stupid, I know. I think there are other issues too. Tonight I might have some quiet time and try an exercise that's worked well for me in the past. I actually got this from a writing book and it's fantastic if you have things that you need to dig out of the mire of your brain. You write a question at the top of the page then just freewrite for a couple of minutes answering that question without stopping to think about what you are writing. When you finish the first one you can keep going, digging further into things that come up. It's a lot cheaper than therapy anyway. Kathryn, every time I make a major change in my life (working, not working, moving, relationship start, end, etc.), it takes me a few weeks (or longer) to reorient myself to whatever has happened. Perhaps your current struggle is related to that kind of transition; for example, feeling let down because you aren't with your workmates anymore. This is true even if the change is very desireable and highly anticipated. Those of us who have had a somewhat chaotic upbringing tend to forget that change has a hidden penalty, and it can be difficult to prevent ourselves from bearing down harder on ourselves when we feel it ("shoulding" ourselves as it were). Maybe a question you could ask yourself is: do you miss your former job?
By
Aïoli is mayonnaise with garlic, that's all - but mayo is a traitorous little condiment. The Light stuff we have at home is pretty healthy, thus lulling me into thinking mayo is OK, so I catch myself buying sarnies with the regular stuff in them when I'm out...
Not only it is cheaper than therapy, but it is indeed one of the major tools!
::29.11.05:: Wish Pants I bought a pair of wish pants (ie jeans I wish would fit me) a while back on ebay. They turned up today. They are a size 13, I wanted size 12 but I also wanted Jeans West because I currently have Jeans West jeans and wanted to know the sizing was proportional (or something like that, you know what I mean). Lately my hip measurement has NOT changed. Not for weeks. But I don't know how accurate it is. I mean, it's all well and good measuring firm flesh but when you have a belly of such jelliness as myself it's like hitting a moving target. So I've invented a new concept in measurement. I put on the wish pants - it's a sure sign of my body's lack of proportion that they fit me perfectly in the legs - and measured from the edges of the waist band. That gives me 28 cm to go for the wish pants to fit. So far I've lost 33 cm from my hips, give or take some cm. That means I have a long way to go although I kinda figure the weight has to come off my belly more now. After all, some bits of me have no more fat to lose. I can't even sit on wooden benches for more than 2 minutes now! I am going to take my wish pants measurement every month until the damn pants fit. Then I will be happy and I can stop dieting and pig out on whatever I want. Only joking. Then I can maintain my weight and eat sensibly forever.
Love the idea of your "wish pants". I am sure they will fit you soon. I feel the same way about my wobbly stomach. I think that when the fat has gone from everywhere else it must eventually go from there too! I can also relate to harder seats now there isn't as much padding! wish pants r a fantastic idea - i actually have a pair of those i should start using.
I have some wish pants in the cupboard ... they are huge in the legs though - but the waist is tiny...well not tiny, but you get the drift.
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Thanks for your comments the other day. They were really great and did get me thinking. And after reading this post I know I am going to buy my wish pants tomorrow. Then I will keep trying them on and if they don't fit me by Christmas, well, then I'll just have to aim for New Years :) My wish pants are an old pair of courdoroy slacks I bought at the beginning of high school that I would love to be able to fit into again. Actually, I have a box or two marked "skinny clothes" that are full of stuff that I'm looking forward to wearing again someday.
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I also work on the theory that I will lose fat off my arms and hips eventually because after a while there will be no more fat on the rest of my body to loose. Hope it works! i have plenty of wish pants but they are all packed away at my parents place, maybe i will have to go and unpack my favorite ones and do the same thing, great idea
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I have a wish dress. It was my year 11 formal dress, size 12 - I lent it to my aunty last year for a Christmas do, so when I got back to Tassie for New Year, I'll be asking for it back, seeing there's a slim chance (pun intended!) that it might fit me again in the near future!
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Food Man, I've been Eaty McEats Everything In Sight lately. I dunno what's wrong with me. I'm not hungry, I think it's just bored eating and it's got to stop right now. It's bad habits and I don't want them taking hold. Sometimes in life I think you just need to use a bit of self-discipline so I'm going to only eat at designated meal and snack times. The wedding dress shopping was fun on the weekend. Well fun for me, not so much fun for my friend. I felt sorry for her because she's put on weight and isn't at all happy with the way she looks. Not that she's all that big, just bigger than she used to be. Of course, trying on all those fitted dresses does nothing for your self esteem especially when you have to parade them around a showroom filled with size 8 girls. We walked out of one bridal shop and she just kept muttering, how did I put on so much weight? I told her it's easy. I don't want to start bombarding my friend with advise so I've just been giving her a few hints and tips. She's just joined a gym and she has until March to lose the weight, which is enough time to get to her goal weight if she loses at a steady rate. But I also think she's in a state of mind where I can't say too much or it will just get her down. One of the things I find weird is that she doesn't want the big fancy wedding. She doesn't even want to get married. But her partner wants it all done right. I'm sure it's pretty rare for the guy to be pushing for these things. So anyway we are off to look at more dresses next week - we found one that is the absolute stand out from the bunch of white satiny things but didn't have an appointment so have to go back next week for trying on. While we were looking, I found the wedding dress I want - it was a Victorian dress in purple with a black sleeves. Now I just need to find a groom! Andrew downloaded the latest season of the Gilmore Girls for me and I've been catching on up that. I think I'd like my potential groom to be a lot like Luke from the Gilmore Girls *swoon*. He's surly and manly and he fixes stuff. I love a man who fixes stuff.
Wedding dress shopping is hard work. So much hard work that I bought my dress on eBay! I just couldn't face the women in bridal shops, in fact I find it extremely hard to walk into those shops. I tried twice and ran away in a blind panic both times. That said, I am looking forward to being married! I just can't deal with the bridal stuff and the expectations.
I know nothing about wedding dress shopping yet but now that brides maid dress shopping is bloody difficult!
::27.11.05:: Fun Run The final Spring into Shape fun run was on this morning. I came home early last night, after an exhausting day of wedding dress shopping with my friend, so I could get a good night's sleep but it wasn't to be. At 1.30 one of my housemates and his girlfriend came home for a night o' passion. I was woken by her verbal expressions of her love. I put the pillow over my head and tried to ignore it. She got louder and louder and didn't stop. Half an hour of listening to her moan like a wounded sea mammal was enough for me. I flew out of bed and explained the rules of ettiquette to them - well explained using lots of pounding and swear words. I think it was really healthy and a sign of my growth as a person that I did this. I've always been a silent fumer, but silence fuming doesn't make people shut the fuck up. Yelling and pounding does. At 5.00 am, the same housemate came home with his mates. They thumped up and down the hallway and talked. A lot. Luckily that didn't last long. It did raise some questions though. I think the situation had one of three explanations: 1. My housemate took his girlfriend home then went out drinking with his mates. 2. I abused the wrong housemate (but hey they got the message so it ended well) OR 3. My housemate loaned his room to one of his mates so he could get it on with some scrubber he picked up at some bar. Hopefully I can continue my quest for recognition as being scary and a little bit psycho - it can only be to my advantage. Mostly people must learn - never, ever wake me. So I got to the fun run this morning in less than optimal condition, met the lovely Lucinda who was recovering from a mammoth bike riding effort then walked my walk. I think I did a personal best time - woohoo! As I got to the end of the walk, I decided to run to the finish line. Well I tried but didn't quite make it. I stopped running and thought I was going to die. But I pushed myself and managed a little jog to finish. Afterwards I caught up with Lucinda again then got a free massage. The massaging dude worked a miracle on my back. My back has been much better lately but it was like I had this big, hard ball of wool in my lower back and he untangled it all. What a great morning - the weather is perfect, sunny with a nice breeze; the run was indeed fun; I got free socks, a free massage and I had a sausage.
Oooh, free massage! Bet you enjoyed that.
By
I would love to do a fun run but unfortunately we never get them in my area :o( Well done on your walk/run after a night of interruptions. How annoying. Good on you for yelling and letting them know you were upset.
Earplugs, maybe?
I pick option 3. Go you for letting them know how you feel. Bet they won't try that on again for a while - well not without inviting you anyway :D
::26.11.05:: Things I was listening to the radio this morning (Run Like You Stole Something on 3RRR) and they interviewed a doctor who has been running a study over the last 12 years on obese patients with type 2 diabetes - the study followed their weight loss and now their maintenance. This doctor (I didn't get his name) and a couple of other people who have been doing research into weight loss are doing a seminar on Thursday night at the Hilton. I'm really interested in going along. I'll put more details when I find out. They also talked about a Chinese weight loss cure where they set the patients alight! I've heard of burning calories, but that's a bit extreme. The sad thing is, whenever I hear wacky stories like that, there is always a thought at the back of my mind of wonder if it works! First day back tracking and I was almost too scared to put in my consumption for last night - a hamburger plus 5 glasses of wine. Yikes. But because I stuck to a plain burger - no cheese or bacon or other other extras, I wasn't too much over. Go me! I'm so glad I resisted the cheese platters at the bar because they were looking mighty tempting last night. Damn bars that sell Scotchman's Hill wines by the glass - that stuff is too yummy. Must run. I'm meeting a friend today to go wedding dress shopping. I think a lot of moral support will be required. i think if u can have a hamburger & 5 glasses of wine without going too much over your alowance, you my dear, are a bloody legend!
LOL KT - I reckon right!!
::25.11.05:: Weigh In Arrrggh! Half a kilo gain this week. This not tracking thing is obviously not working for me. I think I'll go back to tracking again this week. It's too easy to forget what I eat - having a little treat then later in the day having another little treat. Thinking about it, my timing probably wasn't the best. Since I'm not working I've not got into a routine which makes things much harder plus I've been feeling a bit sick. Oh well, I'll track for the next couple of weeks then try it again. Has anyone else noticed how once you start eating well, you seem to put on weight much more easily when you go off track? It only takes a week of not so good eating to put on a kilo or half a kilo? But if you live on pizzas and Big Macs and family sized chocolate bars whilst drinking your body weight in margaritas every weekend sure you put on weight, but not a kilogram every week - I mean, that would be a 50 kilogram gain in a year! (Which would mean many more margaritas!) Maybe my metabolism has changed and I've become used to eating low calories plus exercising often? Now my body goes haywire when I put junk into it but, if I kept eating junk, it would settle down to a slow and steady gain? Of course, it could be just because I weigh myself regularly now. Once I'd weigh myself maybe once every 3-4 months so I'd not notice those fluctuations so much. Now I'm on the scales nearly everyday; nothing escapes my attention? Oh well, I'll have a loss next week. Honest Injun. PS. I just worked out, I need to lose 9 kilograms to get my BMI within the normal range so I'm challenging myself to do that in the next 9 weeks - ready for the Big Day Out. I might call it the Big Weigh Out Challenge. I think this will be my plan of attack: * keep tracking for the next 9 weeks * ensure I drink enough water (been slack on this since I stopped work) * cardio 6 days a week plus some kind of toning exercises - my measurements having really been changing even as I loss weight which bugs me no end. Since I hurt my back, I've not been able to do weights, pilates or pump class but that doesn't mean I can't do some simple toning exercises at home ie. the evil tricep dips. I think my reward, if I succeed will be a Stooges t-shirt. Woohoo!
yes, I've definitely noticed that the scale isn't fair. It goes up much easier than down. On your tracking comment, I read a good article yesterday here: Good luck with your Big Weigh Out Challenge.At least you are keeping an eye on things and you haven't let yourself put on too much. You will soon get rid of that 1/2 a kilo.
Hehe I love the name of your challenge! I giggle so much! it's super cute and Gooood Luck with it. Wow 9kilos and you're normal can you see the light at the end of the tunnel Hun? Wow, I missed a week so have just caught up, and there is so much stuff there to comment on! I think I will just leave it at this: you rock, and your determination and fighting spirit will see you become the happy, healthy You that you know you can be :-)
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A t-shirt for a reward sounds like a good idea (I am going to get a belt for a reward for myself soon (I kinda need one)).
Big Weigh Out Challenge - love it! A great plan and very achievable.
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Oh gaining weight is soooo easy! I lol at the Big weigh out idea... sounds interesting/fab name for it. :)
the big weigh out challenge sounds great! Now, where did I hear this astounding tidbit of info, I can't remember. I started this bit of info in my own words and then remembered where i read it, in my one of the notes of my Nutrition units for Naturopathy. Will find and type up in Ab Flab for all of us to ponder. Have a lovely weekend lovely lady.
stooges tshirt! That would RULE! excellent incentive. go for it, tiger.
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Great plan. Working from home is very different to an office and putting in some routine should help with those extra bites.
::23.11.05:: Perfection Last night I spent a lot of time reading journals of people who've had tummy tucks and other such surgery. That got me thinking about my last post and the quest for perfection. Maybe, just maybe, if you are forty years old and you have given birth and have lost a lot of weight, you aren't supposed to have the body of a 16 year old. I mean, you can spend an extreme amount of time and money, not to mention pain, having surgery to become closer to perfect, but who's saying what perfect is anyway? I don't need to perfect. I don't need to look like a 16 year old or even a 25 year old. I just need to be the best me possible. That's good enough. Well okay, I'm not totally ruling out the idea of a tummy tuck if I'm left with really hideous dangly down belly skin. At least if you are overweight and you pick up a dude, I mean begin a meaningful relationship in which you wish to express your love physically, the dude knows what he's in for when the clothes come off but it's another thing altogether taking the gear off and having enough surplus fabric to cover a sofa - a really big sofa. But other than that, I'm okay with things. I was in Borders tonight, browsing through Bustmagazine when I found an article on cougars (older women who go for younger guys) and I remembered one of my motivations for losing weight - to get me a toy boy. Actually that was a joke when I first said it but hey, who's going to argue if a young spunk comes knocking on the door! I think I'd like a toy boy, I find it hard to relate to men of my age. They seem so old. It's hard for women. You are surrounded by images of female beauty everywhere. I don't just mean in magazines or on tv. Even in real life, out on the streets, there are so many gorgeous chicks. I think woman tend to be better looking than men - If you look at the percentage of women who attractive compared to the percentage of men. I guess a lot of that comes down to the fact that women look after themselves more. You feel like you can't compete. I guess it all comes NOT competing. It isn't a competition. Like I said above, I don't have to look like a 16 year old and, let's face it, I can't afford that much surgery anyway. I think I need to work on the loving of me, the thought of me as being lovable. Otherwise there will always be something wrong. Even since I've been losing weight, I've noticed how much I focus on other imperfections - my teeth are ugly, my hair is too thin - the list goes on. This isn't going to change overnight, I know. It's a long, long battle. I was going to say it will all be over when I get to like 90 and quit caring, but I remembered how vain my Nan is (she's in her 90s) so maybe it never ends.
I am not into pain, so I couldn't have any operation that wasn't absolutely necessary for my survival.
You write some really interesting posts that are very thought provoking and oh so honest. I did read your liposuction one even though I do have a very weak stomach but it was fascinating. It is a very thought provoking post, one which got me to thinking about my experiences when I lived in London. At the time I was about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, but still significantly overweight, especially for the UK and Europe. Nevertheless, I found myself, 43 years old, 50 lbs overweight, cellulite, slightly sagging breasts and all, surrounded by men who wanted to date (and do more). Why? All my English girlfriends were having an impossible time finding eligible men who cared for more than their body. Perhaps it was my flaws that drew men to me, not my perfection. Perhaps it was because I was interested in something else besides myself. Perhaps it was because I felt beautiful inside so I could be interested in something else besides myself. Whatever the reason, no liposuction or any surgery necessary. I had a more active social life than I could keep up with myself. My so-called flaws -- cellulite, flabby arms, increasing network of wrinkles -- were and are part of the package that is me. When someone was attracted to me, I believed they were attracted to the whole of me, not just the bits that were more perfect by today's air brushed standards. Maybe that belief caused me to relax around men when I was single and that is what caused the stampede in my direction. Like Lesley said, maybe I would feel differently if I was suddenly single again, but in 1998, it didn't make a difference to me at all, at all. :)
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I didn't know there was a name for lovely women like that. Cougars. What a great word. Conjours up fast, sleek, clever :D
::22.11.05:: Sparkle In my earlier post, I said I had no emotional reason for eating so much lately but I lied. Well, not so much lied, sometimes it takes a while for the things I'm thinking to float to the surface of my brain. I had a couple of things happen over the weekend - silly little things but things that caused fissures in my steely resolve. Firstly, I went over to the Jam Factory on Friday because I wanted to get the official read-out from the weighing machine. The machine that always tells me - YOU ARE VERY MUCH OVER YOUR RECOMMENDED WEIGHT. I thought this time I'd get something else. But no. I knew I should have left it, shouldn't have weighed myself late in the day, but I did anyway and the machine said the same thing. So I went into Borders and had a coffee and a gingerbread cookie. Then Saturday morning, I went to the gym - I did a half hour boxing technique session followed by a boxing class. One of the things we had to do in the technique class was practice throwing punches aiming at our faces in the mirror. That's when I noticed it. Hanging there like big, wobbly turkey gobblers - the flap of underarm skin. Yikes - I thought it was bad but not that bad. Looking at yourself in the mirror is a bad, bad thing. I started picking all my faults. I am such an "apple" shape - I carry all my weight on my torso and I'm still so big in the belly area. As I watched myself, it dawned on me - even if I get to my goal, I still might not look GOOD. Sure I'll look a helluva lot better than I did at 110 kilograms, but I don't want to just look good for me, I want to look good for anyone. Everyone knows the story - losing weight won't solve all your problems - but it's hard sometimes to accept that. I think, for me, it isn't just that I blame my weight for all my problems as that being my goal weight was always been an impossible dream. It's like when you sit at work dreaming about winning Tattslotto. It's such a huge thing that you may as well dream the whole big dream - you don't just lose the weight, you don't just win the cash - your whole life is transformed. You no longer have men problems, you no longer have work worries. Instead of cowering from confrontation, you go out fighting. Suddenly the whole world loves you, your life is all sparkle and glitter. It's not like that at all, is it... you lose the weight but you don't transform. It's hit me like a ton of bricks this week. So what happens now? I guess there are two choices - I can give up, stuff my face (and live with the resulant health problems - can't forget my old friend, diabetes) or I can deal with it all. So maybe it takes more than diet and exercise to make my life sparkle. Maybe I have to go the extra mile and work on some other issues: the zillion and one other issues that plague my life. So be it. One thing that constantly comes back to me as I lose weight, is that fat isn't the problem; fat is the symptom of deeper problems. I guess I have to dig deeper and root those problems out. In the meantime I think I'll try some some of satan's own exercise - tricep dips. Of course I could not agree more that weight is a symptom not the problem, but what I identify most with in your post is the idea that even if I go to all this effort, conquer my fear and deal with the pain, suffering and anxiety of getting slim, I might not look that good. What a thought! On my better days, I think I look great now and I'll look great all the way down. But, that's when I'm looking at my personhood and not just my arms. :)
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I still cling on to the 'i'll change when I lose weight' scenario - I think I cling on to it a bit much really, I hope to let go...soon.
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I agree with your post and know that when I get to goal weight I am still not going to be happy with myself. I am 9ish kgs away from goal weight and while everyone tells me I look good now I know I don't. But the scary bit is that when I get to 65kgs I still know I am not going to be happy so what do I do? Just keep on going down until I look like Nicole Richie or just learn to accept the bits I don't like! Eeek! Hey Kathryn. I agree with you in lots of things you wrote today. I find that sometimes I don't even know what is bothering me but I pick up my previous bad behaviours again - like sneak eating or invisible eating(if noone sees me doing it it doesn't count)...then I have a brainwave and think maybe I am doing this because of this and oh it feels a bit better then cos then I know what I need to work on. I have always thought that losing weight would solve all my problems but I realise that isn't true and have addressed a few big issues over the last 2 or 3 years and I feel much better in myself and totally agree that the overweight is a symptom of other things. Keep on with those tricep dips and the self-awareness journey as you have come a tremendous distance so far....take care.
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:)
The tonne of bricks will feel lighter when you start picking them off one by one.
::21.11.05:: Music Because I'm bored and it's late and I can't sleep, I thought I'd post my top 10 favourite workout songs. I don't really like much dance music and mostly work out to rock. These are the songs that get me moving: Lust for Life - Iggy Pop Cherry Pie - Warrant Paco Doesn't Love Me - The Spazzys Rock N' Roll High School - The Ramones Sheela Na Gig - PJ Harvey Jailbreak - AC/DC Black Betty - definitely the Nick Cave version, not Spiderbait Killing in the Name Of - Rage Against the Machine Little Room - The White Stripes Eye of the Tiger - Survivor. This is the best song for when you think you can't take any more. If you can quit your workout while listening to Eye of the Tiger you don't deserve to have it on your workout mix! So what are everyone else's favourite workout songs?
My tastes in music go all over the place, but these are some of the songs that make it onto the playlist a lot:
By I've got lots of gangsta in my workout file - but Eye of the Tiger is there too! My ipod is almost completely full, so I often just hit shuffle and get a very odd mix! Because I have been lazy and I haven't taken my Suzy Quatro double CD out of my bag I always workout to Suzy at the gym. She is great though!
Eye of the Tiger would be right up there. David has a lot of dodgy mid 90's dance party CD's left over from his Year 12 days, so I often use them!
By
For a sweaty cardio session, I can't go past: Hi Kathryn - firstly congrats on getting out of the obese range that is a huge achievement and something I am monitoring for my own records as well. I really like a song which I think is called "voodoo child"??not sure but it really gets me moving. I love music to work out to it really keeps me going. Have a great week.lb
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I'm a techno head right now, though I'm slipping back into rap <3
::20.11.05:: Stop! I can't seem to stop eating at the moment. I am Snacky McSnackster. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just for a day but it's been going on for the past few days and it must stop now. I've been trying to analyse why I'm doing it but I have no great emotional traumas going on in my life at the moment. I think it's just my natural piggy instincts coming out. I get into bad habits - I start snacking then I'm not hungry for meals so I don't have a proper meal and just keep snacking. It is a bad cycle. I don't think the change of routine from full time work to no time work is helping either. When I'm writing, I snack - well it's one of whole range of procrastination techniques. Plus I'm starting to realise how much I write about food. Like I've been editing a scene where tiramisu plays a pivotal role. Maybe I should change it from tiramisu to donuts - I can write about donuts without feeling hungry. One day off isn't going to hurt me, but when it extends to 2 or 3 or more days off or days that aren't quite so good, then I'm sinking back into bad habits. Why are bad habits so easy? On top of all that, I have been buying foods that are easy to snack on. That is always a bad thing for me to have around. If I have a choice between fruit or making an effort to get a different snack, I'll have fruit. Currently, I'm having the other snack and the fruit! All this is going to stop right now - well except the writing (but the snacking while writing will stop - unless it's on carrot sticks) . I'm cutting down on the snacks - I got my popcorn machine out of storage so that will make a healthy, yummy snack. I think I need to be more aware of my snacks too - eat consciously. I have to listen to my body. I think that's the golden rule - it all leads back to that. Knowing when I'm really hungry. It's such an easy thing to say but so hard to do. I think when I master that, I'll be done.
Damn this seems to be contagious at the moment. Perhaps we should all get the snacking immunisation. Maybe we should invent one. And make millions. Then sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labour (can't believe I just said that) Kathryn, this sounds ominously familiar as an outcome of the freedom not to count calories or points. Sometimes it takes a while to become adapted to the idea that if you don't have to count it, it doesn't count as much. And I'm with you on eating as a procrastination to writing (or whatever one is supposed to be doing). When you're an orally fixated person, eating always seems to be the solution.
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Hello there Kathryn!
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I find that when I'm bored I snack. I'd got into the habit of snacking right through the day (going to the supermarket at lunchtime was my big downfall) and then get home and eat a big dinner as well.
::18.11.05:: Weigh In Today I am no longer obese. That's right, folks. Today I weighed in at 83.2 which puts my BMI under 29. I'm just a regular overweight chickie now. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I have no living memory of not being obese. This was the last time I wasn't obese:
The not tracking has been working just fine and dandy so far, of course it's only been half a week. I love it though. The other day I got a chicken burger from a place I've been meaning to try - they have big signage advising their burgers are all low fat. As I eat it, I began mentally breaking down the ingredients - roll, chicken breast, etc. Then I realised - I don't need to do this. Woohoo! Just eat and enjoy, no adding. I've also been thinking - I've lucky really. Things seem to work for me (touch wood, big time). If I do the right things, I lose weight. The few times I've gained weight, I've known why - normally because I've been sick so I can't exercise plus I've eaten too much. You can't argue with those facts. Even if I have a day off or a meal off, I still manage to lose. I can work around it. I'm so grateful for that - especially when I read someone's blog who is doing all the right things and not losing. That must be so hard. There is something else I've noticed as I cruise through the world o' diet blogs. Have you noticed how we seem to use our blogs as a confessional? If we have a blow out, then we purge our guilt by getting online and writing out our sins - listing the tim tams and the hot chippies and the pizza. All very catholic, isn't it? It got me thinking, does it help? Is it some kind of release mechanism - you know, once you've blogged it all then you no longer have the guilt. Because sometimes guilt is the heaviest weight we can carry. It's interesting that you compare blogging to the confessional - there are lots of similarities - including the anonymity. I guess we all need a way to offload our 'sins'. Some use religion and some use the World Wide Web!
Well done on the loss - I did my BMI yesterday too, and mine is 28! I'm no longer obese either - yay!!
By
Yay for your BMI of 29. You are doing so well. I don't know about using the blog as a confessional, but I think the reason I confess the odd slip is because that is what is really happening to me and learning how to manage those moments (and their aftermath) is almost the whole ball of weight loss wax if you ask me. :)
By
Woo Hoo Kathryn! Congratulations on your loss.
Congrat's - what a milestone! I just finished reading your Lipo story, and I must repeat how impressed I am that you are doing this weight-loss thing the long, hard, regular way and doing so well at it too!
By
Congratulations on your loss Kathryn. This is so great that you are now no longer obese. In mind, spirit or in body.
woohoo! well done. and you were a cute wee baby, btw!
By Oh babe, this is awesome! Well done :-) I personally don't like to read too much of the *confessional* blogs because honestly they piss me off. I like blogs like yours that inspire me because you actually DO stuff to change your situation. Seriously, well done!
well done on no longer being obese! bravo bravo bravo!!!!
AWESOME@ the WI!!!! How exciting it must be to say that. Wooohooo!
Congrat's on no longer being obese :o)
::17.11.05:: Writing This isn't diet related but a while back I had a website about my writing. Then the hosting expired and I had all kinds of more important shit happening in my life so I put it on the backburner. Now I've put it back up and if you want to check it out, it's here.
I love your writing site!
By Good luck Kathryn with your new independent career. Your new blog looks great. I wonder if you're discovering, like I am, that the trick isn't to work hard enough but to know when to turn it all off.
By Great new look!! Links in well with the Ab Flab site. Glad not tracking is working. Always a dream to not have to continuously track for the rest of my life!! This is fantastic Kathryn! I'll check it out and let my man know too as he is a writer :-) I look forward to reading about your writing.
::16.11.05:: Thoughts and Resolutions In a recent post (which I am far, far too lazy to find and link back to) I talked about that magical, mystical day where I'd stop tracking - my healthy new lifestyle would take flight on wings of it's own no longer needing the guiding hand of calorie counts. Well, I think that day has come, folks. Lately I've been so over tracking. Not in a bad - I don't care any more, I'd rather eat my own body's weight in lard - kind of way, but in I want to have a life outside of dieting and counting and fussing - kind of way. I see it like this - most of my life has revolved around food and body stuff and all those related issues, its just that lately the focus has gone from a negative thing to a positive one; still the focus is there though. A princely part of my brain works is devoted to what goes into my mouth. Recently I've had other things in my life - good things, interesting things, challenging things. Nothing major or pulse racingly exciting (well except for that builder who's going to spending the next week fixing up stuff around my house... what is it about a cute, young tradie in shorts and work boots? Best I start doing my hair and makeup before I go for a shower in the morning. Actually, with my slothful, unemployed lifestyle at the moment, best I start showering in the morning!) So, now I've cooled down a little... the point is that I don't want live for food, I don't want my life revolving around what I eat, how many calories I've consumed, blah, blah, blah! But, on the other hand, I don't want to go insane. I still don't fully trust myself. I kind of see it like this - I've taken my new eating patterns through the baby years, the years I have to watch them and nurture them and protect them but they aren't quite ready to move out and set up house on their own. These are the teenage years - the age where they are testing their limits and push for their freedom. They still need rules and curfews. I figure, I guided my son through adolescence without any dramas so I can do the same for my eating habits (although I trust Andrew much more than I do my appetite). From now on, no more tracking. But I'm going to monitor my weight carefully and if I stop losing then I'll go back to it. It's a scary step but necessary one I feel. *** I had a bit of a splurge day - financially not dietary. Since I'm in the mood for resolutions, I've decided this is the last splurge until I start working again. My shopping will be limited to the op shops except for Christmas gifts. What's the point of spending good money on clothes when they are only going to fit for a little while anyway? I've been good with food shopping; Andrew and I have been making a weekly outing of the Preston Market. Since I stopped work, we've been going during the week which is much nicer than the Saturday crush. We actually get to browse in peace and chat with the stallholders. Then head to the souvlaki stall for lunch (bad, I know but I've been restricting myself to half a pide - yum). *** Oh I guess I should say what I bought: a top/dress from Jeans West plus a singlet top (and I got a $15 voucher to spend next time); a new quilt set from Freedom - that was the big splurge but it has cherry blossoms on it and I love cherry blossoms, plus I virtually live in my room so having nice bedding is important. Oh that's it except for phone credit. Not so bad after all. I did go into the Fila outlet shop to look for gym clothes. I did that thing where I looked at the stuff on the racks and realised nothing would go close to fitting me - except that, der, I was looking in the kids section. Still didn't buy anything though. *** Anyway, it's a hot day so I should go see if this builder would like a cool lemonade.
Sounds like you've had a great day. And I'm very proud of you that you've recognised this new part of your journey, where you're going to trust yourself to make the healthy choices and control the portions without slavishly counting calories. It's never meant to be a crutch.
By Sometimes I think that if we are in agreement with our unconscious self that we want to be slim and healthy, we don't have to count calories, points, grams or anything -- we just "naturally" make the right choices day after day. It would be a wonderful thing if that is the place you're in now.
By
kathryn, try this...
After losing 26kgs you know how to lose weight so I am sure you will be OK not writing everything down. I think as long as you monitor your weight carefully and take action if you start to gain, things should go well. You know the choices to make now to stay healthy and fit. You have to love a good looking builder ;D
::15.11.05:: Things:A few posts ago, I said I'd post about having liposuction. This has ended up being a long post so I thought I'd do a bit of a hack and not put it up front. So if you want to read it, go here. Be warned - there are some gory medical details included. If you read the post and have questions that you aren't comfortable leaving in the comments for public reading, then feel free to email: kathrynoh at ozemail dot com dot au. *** I am still looking for a body scrub. What's the deal here? It's almost impossible to find a decent one. I'm thinking conspiracy theory. In the meantime, I was going to get that new Dove firming lotion but then I found the Nivea firming lotion with massage head. A massage head will get me every time! After I've tried it, I'll post a review to Absolutely Flabulous to let you know what it's like. Nivea sounds good. I will be interested to read what it is like.
WOW - what an experience for you to go through. While I did (very briefly) years ago consider lipo, after seeing the procedure on TV, thought, nah, I can't do that. Kathryn I just thought of something I used to do when I wanted to have my very own body care! You can make your own scrub you know. Take a neutral Johns0n Baby Oil, add a few drops of your favourite essential oil, add either brown sugar or semi coarse sea salt...and tada! Your own scrub with the smell you like! You can do the same by adding a few drops of the essential oil to any neutral smelling body cream. I used to buy the cream from pharmacies that sell homeopathy drugs.
Kathryn, thank you for sharing such a personal story. You write brilliantly!
By Best scrub I know is a Garnier one, it's bright yellow and comes in a tube.
By
I'm not a fan of scrubs, i'm allergic to so many things. Making your own sounds good though.
::13.11.05:: Saturday Night Cocktails I had a wee blowout last night. Well how can a girl resist when there is a cocktail on the menu that combines some of her favourite taste sensations ever - Grande Marnier, Lychee liqueur (I love lychees, can't wait for them to come into season), raspberry and rose water. I'm a total sucker for anything rose flavoured or containing rosewater as well. Go me though. I stopped after one. I did have a few rather nice glasses of Scotchman's Hill Pinot Gris though. I so rarely drink now that I get tipsy like a 15 year old sucking on a bottle of Stones before the school social! Yesterday arvo I went for a huge walk - over 8 kms. I've been wanting to walk 8 km for ages to prove I could do it and I can, although the last 3 km home nearly killed. I felt every step. I did jog a few bits though. I would like to jog more but I'm wary of my back! Damn this old body. I walked to the Collingwood Children's Farm and back. I've always wanted to go there but I was sorely disappointed to find it was a farm FOR children, not a real children's farm with battery-caged kiddies. LOL. I've got this great mental image of all these little cutie-pies with their faces pressed up against the bars!
I have the same image. Sad thing was I was laughing. *bad girl*
Yay an 8km walk! I have always wanted to work from my home to 'town' which is about 11km! Might aim to do that over the summer (but get BF to pick me up from town!)
Great walk Kathryn - it's always the last few k's that do it!
By
::11.11.05:: Shiny Red Rewards I know I said I wasn't going to buy me a 25 kilogram lost reward but some times the plan changes. I was walking through Myer today and thought I'd look at the stab blenders - gotta love that name. If I were a manufacturer of those things, I'd make one with a light in the end so when you are cooking you could pretending it was a light sabre but then maybe other people are like grown ups and don't do that stuff. Anyways on the way to the blenders, I walked past this display and they had these things - they were like three shiny red square melamine boxes stacked up with a metal frame around them. They were really cute but a bit expensive and I didn't know what I'd use them for. I love melamine though - it makes me think of the Skippy the Bush Kangaroo plate I had as a kid. If someone unlocked the secrets of my soul, I bet all my overeating would go back to that Skippy plate. I mean, who wouldn't overeat when you get to use a Skippy plate! Anyway, I put the shiny red box thingie down and walked off. As I walked away, I thought of a great use for it. Salads. I could make three different salads and, when I wanted to eat them, I could just unstack the containers into three pretty red serving bowls and help myself. After dinner, I could stack them back up and put them in the fridge. Simple yet genius. But it was still too expensive. Then I saw another display of them on the back wall with a big sign saying 30% off. Woohoo! Some things are meant to be! So I got my shiny red reward. I wanted to get a body scrub too but I couldn't find one anywhere in the city. I know the body shop has them but I don't like the smells they come in there. I went to Lush but couldn't find any there. When I got home, I realised my shiny red stack o' boxes wouldn't fit in my fridge. Damnit. But I took out the meat thingie at the top that I never use anyway - if I'm not eating meat straightaway, I bung it in the freezer - and now everything fits better. Then I put my deli meats in one of the red boxes and my cheeses in the other since I have no salad yet.  Updated because I found a pic :)
good loss and let me tell you...anything red and shiny is a winner for me!!!! MELAMINE RAWKS! How pefectly old school. And I bet they look brilliant in red...
By Melamine?? I will be checking it out at the shops today :-) I swear we should all get paid for our endorsements on these blogs LOL! We do tend to give encouragement to a lot of products for free. I'm glad you found something that felt rewarding. Your accomplishment should not go unnoticed and now you have a reminder every time you open the fridge. Hey! Maybe it can work as a reward and a signal to keep going. :)
By
lol @ light saber! very cool ;) Yay for your new red reward. They look very interesting to me. Gotta luv the fact that you really wanted it and it was 30% off! I saw these is a catalouge the other day! They look great! lol @ having to rearrange the fridge to fit them!!
I have a red tin one and they're great! Mine is looking a bit beat up, but let's call it well loved.
By
Well done on the loss. And the Light Saber idea I love. I have a remote with a red light that we have pretend duels with, and the Coco pops lightsaber spoons - we have 2.
By
(I don't have a stutter, just realised I commented on an old post as wasn't sure if you would read it.)
By I love red, and I think they rock. What a cool reward. Good score at 30% off too.
Weigh In Day Another 800 grams gone. I'm down to 84.1 - it doesn't sound so dramatic, going from 84.9 to 84.1 and I'd have liked to get into the 83s but hey, I'm not complaining. I wasn't sure how I'd go this week - the food has been good and I've been exercising like a mad thing, but I've also had my period and been eating some rather salty food this week. Andrew and I got two big trays of ham and bacon at the market this week ($4 each - bargain). I haven't eaten ham or bacon for ages so am not sure how that will effect water retention etc. I also got some single serve pizza bases so last night I made a little pizza with bacon, pumpkin, capsicum and light cheese. It was so magically delicious and took no time at all to make. Ha ha, it ended up being a woodfired pizza, Kathryn style. See I have one of those little toaster ovens and I put the pizza on a tray with baking paper under it then let it cook while I did the washing up. I looked over and the baking sheet must have curled up and touched the element at the top. The toaster oven was a hunka, hunka burnin' love! I went to a new boxing class last night. It was the hardest class I've ever done in my life. I almost died. The first half was anyway. The second half, we had to boxing combos in partners. First I boxed and it wasn't too hard, then I had to hold the pads for my partner and they changed the combos. Oh man, these things were confusing. I couldn't remember all the moves and kept stuffing up. I think my partner was getting annoying with me because I kept putting the pads in the wrong place and slowing down her workout. So I'd apologise then she'd say it was okay. But I think she meant it more like - that's okay, just stop stuffing up. Arrggh! I don't know if I want to go back to that class because I don't like feeling like I'm letting someone else down. After the class, I did some cardio - 30 minutes on the treadmill, 10 on the bike and 20 minutes on the ellicptical thingo - but in 10 minute blocks. I keep pushing myself harder at the gym, I feel like just doing a class isn't enough. I guess that's okay so long as I don't go too far.
Great loss!!
I hate not being able to keep up/get it right at a class. I did bodypump for the second time tonight and I was SO lost.
Well done on the great loss and well done on all that gym work.
I want some flame grilled pizza - now!
Congratulations on the loss! I also lost 800grams this week and am stoked as I seem to have slowed right down lately.
That pizza sounds like it was really yummy - maybe I should try to make my own rather than occassionaly having a bought one - that way I could have them more often couldn't I ???
Firstly, love the new look blog! Good going with the loss too, awesome!! Holy shit with the oven. Were you able to save the oven!? Lucky you didn't go have a shower or something.
Well done on your loss!
Oh, and if you're going to get a stick blender, I couldn't recommend highly enough a Bamix. The one I have is stolen from my dad who bought it to make my baby food. I am now 24. Nuf said.
By
::10.11.05:: Reminder I posted a while back about having a meetup in December after the Christmas Fun Run - the fun run is on Wednesday 14 December at 6.30 pm at Albert Park. For those who missed the original post, I thought it would be great to meet up afterwards for food and fun. If you want to come along and aren't running then that's cool too. So spread the word! And come along if you can. Remember those Sydneysiders are having a meetup soon and we can outdo them :D *** I didn't get myself a 25 kilos gone reward. I can't really think of anything I want/need so I'm thinking I'll wait until I lose 30 kilos and splurge out on one of those wand blender things (is that what they are called? Like a Magimix thing). I want a good one, cos I know the $20 supermarket ones are dodgy as. Any recommendations?
Hey Kathryn,
I was going to suggest Bamix too, or a less expensive one but every bit as good is the Braun brand. I got it for Christmas last year and it is excellent. You can take off the blender bit and wash it, rather than worrying about electrocuting yourself by plunging the whole thing into the sink.
By
I would love to come to the fun-run / meet-up, but its just a bit too far away to justify, even after reading about Chubbymums shopping trips this week!!!!
By can't come to the meet sorry as I will be in NZ. Maybe next year. Hellooo! That is a top idea for a reward. We got this Braun Multiquick one as a wedding gift and it RAWKS! not only does it have the stab blender thingy, it came with a bonus whisk attachment and a small bowl thingy like a mini-food processor, perfect size for making pesto or hummus. It's really easy to clean too!
By I have the Braun Multiquick, just the stab blender, though, and I am just soooooo happy with it! I no longer have to take all the veggies or meats out of the soup to process them in the blender, I just use this inside the pot and the soups get oh so velvet!!!!
I have one of the cheapo ones, and yeah... it's not especially great. Still, I don't have any hand mixer besides it, so in some instances it gets the job done!
By
::9.11.05:: I Can't Believe I Forgot... 6 Things I Hate: I mean, to paraphrase Ralph Wiggum, hate: that's where I'm a viking. How to restrict myself to just six things! 1. My housemates. I ebb and flow with this, sometimes I don't mind them but at the moment they are getting on my nerves. They stand in the hallway talking loudly. They make noise at night. Late at night. They NEVER buy toilet paper - I am so sick of this that I refuse to buy it any more and have a secret stash. Since no one else has bought any, I think they have secret stashs too. Damn them. One of them, buys old cars and does them up then resells them. He parks them outside the house so there is never any parking in the street anywhere nearby so I have to lug my shopping from faraway. And, get this, this is the worst. We live in an old house and one of the guys had his window open the other day. They are the old fashioned swing windows with old wooden frames and, because the wind was so strong, the hinges broke off. Now he has no window. Instead of fixing it or ringing the landlord to fix it, he's just left it. Now everyone walking along the street can see there is no front window! Who the hell would do that? Who? Luckily when I moved in, I had a huge paranoia attack and put about 50 locks on my bedroom door - big locks with very long screws (the screws are the key - you can have the best locks in the world but without sturdy screws, they are valueless - they are also the once that sit flush so you can't unscrew them. Yeah, I'm that paranoid!) 2. People who walk slow and block the street. If you are going to walk slow, at least walk to the side of the footpath so people can pass you. This is annoying enough in the city but extra annoying when it is on a walking track that is used for exercise. Think of someone other than yourself people. Don't hog the track. Don't walk 2-3 people abreast (or cycle like it either). This is enough to send me into an insane rage. Trust me. 3. People who think if they acknowledge their character flaws, they need do nothing more about them.. and that other people will in fact think it's cute or something. You know the type - they turn up late, again and just roll their eyes and say 'you know me... always late' or they stack on a hissy fit over trifles then say 'but you know I'm a drama queen'. Being honest about your faults doesn't excuse them. 4. Similarly, girls who say they are princesses and expect to be treated like it. I mean if someone wants to think they are a princess, then it's nothing to me. But when they expect to be treated better than anyone else or think they are special, then forget it. I don't care what your daddy says, honey, you are no better than me. 5. My internet connection. It's been as dodgy as lately. And slow. I hate that. 6. Another one that sends me into an insane rage - people who ignore the lap lane signs at the pool. They don't swim laps in the lap lanes but play with their kids or stand around chatting or other stuff. And people who swim the wrong speed for the lane. You have no idea how much this infuriates me. I used to fume silently, now I tell people. I'm like 'this is a lap lane, honey. The aqua play is over there.' Polite but firm. That is the tip of my anger iceberg anyway. I didn't want to get into politics or any other can o' worms like that. I feel a little better now.
hehe i agree with that, i hate people that walk slow in the street, thanks for your comment
By I have never understood why people hog the path, or walk with 5 people and expect that they be allowed to all walk side by side and everyone else has to walk on the muddy grass. I generally just keep walking and hit them with my shoulders. I am a classy girl :)
Jumping on the favourite things bandwagon... I thought I'd do this thing that everyone is doing, cos you know, if everyone else jumped off the West Gate Bridge, I would. Well maybe not. Does jumping off bridges burn many calories? I think I'm going to struggle with this because I don't like that much stuff really. Twelve movies I like: Zoolander Royal Tenenbaums Rocky 3 The Hotel New Hampshire ... okay that's my complete dvd collection, might have to come back to this. Eleven good bands/Artists Flaming Lips Beth Orton Bjork Bruce Springsteen The Spazzys (well not an all time fave but on high rotation on the ipod workout list) The White Stripes Tim Rogers Evan Dando Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds PJ Harvey Cold Chisel Ten Things about me I love wearing my jammies. I'd spend all day in my pjs if I could. My sister and I produced and presented a tv show on CH 31 for 2 years. It was lots of fun and we got to meet some of our favourite bands but it broke our souls and I'm not sure if we'll ever fully recover. Sometimes I think I will do anything to procrastinate instead of writing (like doing these lists). I don't know why because the one thing I want to do in life at the moment is finish my novel. My least favourite fat roll is the one under my breasts. I hate that fat roll so much. When I was at my biggest, I went on holidays to Vietnam and a bunch of woman came up to me and, even thought their English wasn't the best, I'm pretty sure they were saying I had four breasts. That's probably the most humilitating experience of my life. My mum always accuses my sister and I of not being grown up. She doesn't know our secret - we don't want to be. When I was at my biggest, I had plastic surgery - mega liposuction. I'm still not sure if it was a good thing or not and I think the whole subject needs a post of it's own so I'll say no more atm. I'm usually reserved around people when I first meet them but am getting more comfortable with revealing the "real" me. I have done some wacky jobs in my life including phone psychic (which I can't spell), mystery shopper and factory work. For a while, a friend and I ran a shop and did market stalls. I made and sold fluffy, fake fur handbags. I did this while working full time and studying part time for my degree. And raising a child. I think I was insane. I've travelled to SE Asia, Europe, NZ and the US. My favourite place so far as been Cambodia. I have one son. Andrew. He is 18.
(I made this picture of Andrew in Paint many years ago and I think it captures the essence of his Andrewness) People always tell me I look too young to have an 18 year old son. I like it when they say that :) Nine good friends - Nine! People have nine friends! David (Sugar Lips) Anita - my sister Tim Simon Jenny Graeme Andrew - I always tell him that I'm his friend as well as his mother. He just glares at me (sometimes he tries to kick me). Then I tell him that we are like the Gilmore Girls. Andrew hates the Gilmore Girls and he'll never be Rory. That's it. Sob, I don't have nine friends. Well I have other friends but not good friends and if I added them, they'd only be on the list to make up the numbers. Eight favourite foods or drinks This is a hard one because my favourite foods have changed so much lately. Margaritas - I have drank my own body weight in margaritas and that is no mean feat, trust me. Turkish Delight Chai Tea - but it has to be made right Cheese... good cheese. Especially vintage cheddars. Gnocchi. I love gnocchi. I'm going to buy some from the Preston Market today to have for my dinner. Summer Fruits - can't wait for all the yummy fruits to hit the shops. Especially lychees. I developed a love of these last summer. They are magically delicious. Champagne and sparkling wines Frangelico Seven Things I wear daily PJs - see above. I put them on as soon as I get home. Pink fluffy slippers - when I was a kid I hated wearing anything on my feet. Now I hate having bare feet. Trackies - got to workout every day, don't you know. Runners - see above. Bra - I could never be the type of girl who goes braless. Mr Gravity hasn't been kind to me. Nail Polish - usually half chipped off. Knickers. Except for last night when I got home from the gym and just chucked on an old pair of trackies. Then I dashed out to the supermarket and realised KMart was open so I went in for a look and found some cargo pants I wanted. Then remembered the no knicker thing and realised I couldn't try them on. Yikes. I bought them anyway and they fit (luckily, cos I wasn't thinking and ripped the tags off first). Five things I do daily Smoke Talk to David Go online Weigh myself - bad habit but I can't resist Listen to RRR (I always forget to turn off my clock radio on the weekend) Four Shows I watch Hard one because I never watch tv. I forget I have tv. I wanted to watch the new John Saffran show on SBS this week but forgot until it was nearly finished then I had to move the antenna to get reception and that was too much effort. I just finished watching Firefly on dvd. Oh and I love the Gilmore Girls. I'd watch that if it was on. Three places I have lived St Kilda Yarraville Hobart Two Things I want To finish my novel and get it published (and to have it become a bestseller then to sell the movie rights and have a huge blockbuster movie made from it and basically to sell more copies than the Bible and Harry Potter combined - may as well dream big) To get to my goal weight - of course. Although last night all I wanted was a Domino's Meatasaurus pizza. "Making Laws For Clouds" by Nick Earls is not a good book to read when you are dieting. One Person I want to see right now I can't really think of anyone. If I want to see someone, I go see them or call them up. I guess if Mr Jack White from the White Stripes turned up on my doorstep saying he wanted to take me away from all this, I wouldn't turn him away *weg*. Hi there - congrats on getting under your 85kg goal.....that is really wonderful. Like the look of the new blog too. Have a great week.lb
By Gnocch, cheese and champagne! I AGREE!
By
Great post! I love the Gilmore Girls too. I don't know why I didn't put them on my list.
By You have a lot more patience than I do to put forth the effort for the 12 to 1 favorite things. Whew! It is interesting to see though. I probably shouldn't be so lazy. :)
By
Yes! The White Stripes! And Bjork! And a lot of other stuff you mentioned! "it broke our souls"" That is exactly Ihow I feel about all the voluntary work I used to do.. Love the look! :)
I so love these lists! And I am so much like you with the pj's! i love the list i might have to jump on the band wagon too and do the list.
By woo! you have most excellent taste in everything!
By Your list is so cool, and will be waiting for your m.l. post with anticipation. My thoughts have been wandering down this path more often than not lately and I am very close to actually going to have a consultation. What does that say about my healthy mind!!
I have done the 12 things list as well. I think its reveals quite a lot about people! Your weight loss so far has been sensational - keep it up! Thanks for sharing! We have some similar tastes and you seem like an alternative chick too. Yeah, you sound too young to have an 18 year old son but at least you'd have a more in tune relationship with your son (IMHO)?? My parents are from another generation and sometimes I wish I could just rock up and say, hey..look at my new tatt or whatever.
::8.11.05:: Waxing Thoughts This morning I had to hand over my licence for ID. The receptionist asked me if it was my licence. I wasn't really paying attention and just said - yeah, of course. She looked at the photo again and said I looked like I'd lost a lot of weight since it was taken. I preened and thanked her. Then she looked at the photo again and said, "...but you were so pretty then."* What the hell does that make me now? Some people should just stick to receptionisting and stop commenting on people's personal opinions. She should have seen me a couple of hours later after my killer session at the gym. I sure wasn't pretty then. * I had done good hair and makeup for the licence photo. I had no good hair or makeup this morning. *** One of the beauty salons near me is advertising a "Boyzillian" - which, I assume, is a brazillian wax for men. What do you think? Would you prefer your man less hirsuite? As much as I hate a hairy back, I think these is something emasculinated about a man who has hair removal done. *** On the topic of waxing, I have a confession to make. I've always been rather anti "bimbo" magazines. I'll flick through a copy of Cosmo if I'm in a coffee shop and I'm bored but I'd never buy it. I don't really care about celebs or any of that other stuff they talk about. But lately I've started buying the most bimbo magazine of all - Shop Until You Drop magazine! Egads. The best thing about Shop Until You Drop is that they tell you the size range for all the clothes they feature. The worst thing is that most of them only go up to a 12 or 14! Anyway in this month's issue they have a free Veet waxing strip. I just went to use it and it says waxing is not suitable for the elderly or diabetic. Why can't you wax when you are diabetic? I don't wanna be diabetic and hairy. *** I know that getting fit isn't a competition, except against myself, but boy do I love it when I bet someone. At the gym today, the woman on the treadmill beside, who looked rather fit, kept checking out what I was doing and trying to copy. But she couldn't keep up. I was tempted to lean over and tell her that I'd been working out for 40 minutes before she'd even turned up.
Those "oh you lost weight..blah blah" situations can be so awkward! People just don't think but WHOO HOO for the compliment anyway :-) I'd be tempted to give the receptionist a good slap! And no, I don't think I'd want my man to have a 'back, sack and crack'!
You've changed the layout of the site! Looks great!
By
WTF? With the comment by the receptionist...you may have been pretty then Kathryn but you could tell the receptionist that you are hot now or something to that effect hehe.
By Your blog looks great. Receptionists should keep their personal opinions to themselves. Didn't think I liked hairy men but I have discovered that I do!
I am with Philippa - loving the new look!
::7.11.05:: Ninjas of Shopping! This morning, I met up with the very lovely Phillipa (who is even more charming and gorgeous in real life than she appears on her blog, who'd have thunk it?) for a shopping expedition along Bridge Road. Phillipa is a most delightful shopping companion. She is very tactful, unlike my family who tend to compare me to a fat cow more often than not. Still, we showed Ninja-like restraint when it came to spending money. And Super Ninja restraint when sampling cheeses at the Richmond Hill Larder. Especially after sampling heaven in cheese form. The old Kathryn would have wrestled control of the cheese room (yes this place has a room dedicated to cheeses, they are my kind of people) from the cheese girl and gone into a feeding frenzy that would shame a troupe of half-starved sumos. But I'm the good new Kathryn now, good enough to wonder how many calories are in a cheese sample, although never so good as to refuse an offer of free cheese. Shopping is very tiring. Even with time out for coffee and cheeses and a curry lunch, I conservatively estimated it as 3 hours of slow walking (or 679 calories). After that, I was tempted to skip Spin class tonight but in true Ninja style, I dragged myself there and put in a killer effort. Now I am very weary and am sure there is much more I want to say but my brain is floating loss in my head. I think I'll put on some television (I keep forgetting my television works now, tv good) and zone out for the rest of the night, because tomorrow I start the serious work of writing.
OMG can't believe you did Spin - I was buggered! Like you said, you'll sleep well tonight!
By And I can still taste that cheese!
By Great that you met up with Philippa and went shopping. Well done on still going to spin class after too! Did someone say cheese? Yes, I can hear that word from the other side of the world. It's great that you took small indulgences in something that you truly love, and then worked your arse off in spin class. Wow!
Go Ninja Gal!!!!! Hey, you Melbourne people! I wish we could meet up with you too!! I'm so happy to hear you two gorgeous girls met up :-) I think it's great to meet people you've been communicating with for quite a few weeks, months now.
::6.11.05:: BMI = WTF My BMI has me very confused. At the moment, I have a BMI of 30 (according to most charts, even this isn't consistent). Now I thought a BMI of 30+ = obese, 25-29 = overweight and 20-24 = normal, but apparently this isn't always true. Because I obsess over these things, I use a veritable rainbow of methods for calculating and assessing my BMI and they all differ. It's enough to make a girl's head spin. I think I just need to pick one method and stick to it. Since I've been losing weight, I pop into the Jam Factory every so often. They have a scale that gives you a print out of your weight, height and BMI. And believe me, it's a major breakthrough for me to get weighed in public (another thing for my anti-WW list) but I like getting the print out. I stick them in my weight loss book so I can compare them. The last time I did it, I still got the "You are very much above your your recommended weight. Look after your weight. See you soon. THANK YOU" message. I fumed at the machine. "Can't you remember me and give me some credit for the work I've done," I screamed, shaking my fist angrily, as my sister dragged me off. Next time I go there, my BMI will be under 30. I'll get a new message. The other day, I thought about this, wondering what it would be like to be NOT obese for the first time in living memory. Would my life be any different? Then I realised, I haven't been obese all my life. Maybe physically I have but there have been many, many moments when in my head, I've not been obese. Regardless of size, I don't think anyone walks around thinking they are obese all the time, just like no one walks around thinking they are thin all the time. Most of the time, I don't even think about what size I am. I'm just me. Sometimes I'm the luckiest, happiest, most beautiful girl in the world, other times I'm wretched and full of self loathing. But I don't think that's related to weight (although being overweight doesn't help), I think that's just life. We all have good days and bad days. I guess the weight issue comes into it because being overweight, limits what being me is all about. It boxes me into a corner. Say if I were out with friends, and we doing something like having a picnic in the sun with good food and a nice bottle of wine or two then the weight issue means nothing - it doesn't interfere with my enjoyment of the food or the wine or the company. I'm relaxed and happy. I can be me. But say after lunch, someone suggests doing something else - maybe it's hot and everyone is going to strip off and have a swim or maybe everyone wants to hike up to the top of a big hill. That's when obese me takes over. Suddenly it's not about whether I'm having a good time, it's become about my body - my feelings about my body, my feelings about it's limitations. As I lose weight, these limitations fall away. But I think it's not so much about being a certain weight or certain BMI or any other number. It's the mental process. My life isn't going to change overnight because my BMI changes from 30 to 29. It is going to change when I let go of the limitations I put on myself and, I think, the first step in the process is to actually recognising when I do this. I sometimes think it is much easier for people who put on weight after they've grown up. Growing up being different because you are overweight, you learn to adjust, to compensate, to bow out to save embarassment. The excuses are out of your mouth before you even stop to consider what you want. In some ways, that can seem rather sad but I prefer to look at another way. See most people as they get older, they limit themselves more and more. They begin to say "no" to things they would have once said "yes" too. But I'm doing the opposite. As I get older, my world is growing. My possiblities are becoming boundless. Whoa! That's much deeper than I intended posting today and I hope it makes sense. I'll leave you with a far less serious thought for the day: Mascarpone stuffed apricots* might not be the healthiest treat possible, but they are surely worth every calorie! *from Food Plus in Queens Parade if you live in Melbs.
What an amazing post. I have never thought about the obese mentality like that before. But it is so true. I am happy to say that I am much less limited now and obese M doesn't get as much of a look in anymore. Sometimes, on a bad day, it is harder to shake the memory but on a good day, it doesn't even come into it anymore.
I so can relate to what you've said, I've actually caught myself saying no or putting things off that I once would never... and that really saddens me.
What a great post!
I never ever had the obese mentality so it came as a bit of a shock to the system two years ago when my weight firmly planted me in the obese BMI category! It was only then, upon learning that I was "obese" that I began to think of myself as obese. Sure, I thought of myself as fat, but the word obese was a word that only applied to other people, not me. As it stands, I was only in obesity land for a couple of months before heading back into the land of the overweight.
First, those apricots sound delish... yum! They need to get those over here in NYC!
By Kath, thank you for a wonderful day today!
By Don't know if it's of any help, but I only know of one way to calculate BMI: height in metres squared and then divide your weight in kg by that number. Eg. 1.7m * 1.7m = 2.89, (goal weight) 62kg/2.89 = 21.45.
By
::5.11.05:: Notes I learnt a valuable lesson last night. Yesterday, I'd been thinking about going back to a shop where I'd seen $50 cowboy boots but decided I shouldn't because I'm trying to be frugal. So last night I was heading out to pick up Andrew to go to the movies. I got pulled over by the breatho - blew nothing, of course, but one of the cops seemed determined to get me for something. I forgot to put my current rego sticker on the car and he thought he could bust me for being out of rego so I had to wait impatiently while he phoned about that. He finally got back to me, and told me that he was giving me a ticket for not having a current sticker. Who knew you could even get fined for that? I mean, it's not hurting anyone. So anyway, if I'd got the cowboy boots and stayed home last night, I'd have been much better off. Plus I'd have saved all the money I spent at the movies! I drove off with many scathing things I could have said burning on my brain but I said no of them. I always think it's best not to give cheek to anyone carrying a gun. All the way to the movies, I told Andrew off. For it was his fault I got fined. I don't care if he's left home, putting the new rego sticker has always been his job. Oh and here's a very handy hint if you live in Melbourne: The choc tops at the Nova have around 800 kj compared to around 2,000 per choc top at Village. Last time I went to Village, I nearly died when I read the info on the back of the choc top. That is more than a Drumstick even and it was a very small choc top, they must make it with pure lard or something. *** I discovered a good/bad thing at the market yesterday. One of the stalls sells lollies and all kinds of yummy biscuits. This is a good thing if you feel like a little treat - I could never trust myself to buy a whole packet of biscuits and use them sensibly, but it is nice to be able to buy just one or two. But it is bad when one litte treat becomes three or four. I didn't need a small bag of chocolate sultanas (boy, are those things fattening!) plus a couple of iced vo vos, plus some gingernuts. Next time, one treat and one treat only. The same stall also sells the best blueberry bagels. They make an excellent breakfast (or lunch) with some honey and low fat ricotta. *** It seems like everyone out there is preparing for Christmas - with their super dooper Christmas challenges. I thought about jumping on the bandwagon but Christmas isn't very inspiring for me. We are having the lowest key Chrissie day imaginable. Because my family came over in September, we've decided not to get together. None of us are particularly flush and airfares are so expensive at that time of year. So it's just going to be Andrew and I. Andrew is the ultimate no-fuss, no-muss boy. He'll eat Christmas lunch and then go back to his Nintendo. He actually told me that and I said that wasn't showing much holiday spirit or family togetherness. So he offered to let me play Nintendo with him! Our plans are thus - he's making a chocolate ripple cake because it's his favourite. Good for me too because I hate them so won't be at all tempted. I might make a big fruit salad for myself. We are just going to grab some ham and turkey from the deli and I'll fix up a couple of salads - potato, because Andy loves it (and so do I, who doesn't love potato salad? Must look for a good and not too damaging recipe) and some healthier salads. Maybe I'll get a dvd we can both watch for after lunch.
I can't believe Christmas is almost here - where the hell did the year go???? Sad thing was I never realised til I walked into Woolies and all the tinsel was everywhere and i'm like HOLD UP are we near Xmas??
dont you hate the cops always trying to pin ya for something. oh well i guess shit happens. how was the movie any ways. what did you see.
By
There is some show place on Brunswick St that is closing down that had shoes for $10 and boots for $20 - I think they are near the bookstore (on that side of the street anyway). Bugger about the fine. I am using xmas as a motivator as i have not seen alot of my family since xmas - so I would want/need them to notice something! Is that stall at the preston market? If not, there is one like that there. I agree with you about the laundrymat - and on weekends besides workers there are a few odd balls that hang out at mine.
By
I think the universe was telling you to buy the boots...oh well, you'll know the signs for next time.
By
Bummer about not buying the boots but getting fined instead! I love shoe shopping.
maybe you could write a letter regarding the cop. It could be worth a try, they might let u off the fine. Its not like u didnt have a warrant.
::4.11.05:: Weigh in day I wasn't really expecting a loss this week; not that I've binged or anything, just had a few nights out plus cup day. Yesterday I had my farewell lunch at work, but that wasn't too much damage - I got a steak sanga (with mash and salad instead of chips) - it was a huge steak so I cut off what I thought was around 100 grams and left the rest. Mash is an unknown quantity though when you don't make it yourself, but I love a mash I don't have to make myself. Even though I didn't want to get my hopes up, I really wanted to break the 85.1 kilos - that would make it a 25 kilogram loss. So, I got on the scales this morning and .... 84.9 kilos. Woohoo! I'm happy with that! I think I'll have to be careful next week but I'm so pleased at the moment. *** I've been thinking, after my entry yesterday, how strange it is the way we are motivated by different things. A lot of people seem to need to make that financial commitment - either paying for Weight Watchers or a personal trainer or committing themselves in some other way. Me, I'm the opposite. Once I've made a commitment with cash, I feel like my responsibility has ended. I've paid for them to do their stuff. I guess the secret is self-knowledge - once you work out what motivates you, then you can work with that. Although I'm not that sure 'motivation' is the right word. YP wrote a post recently with some interesting things to say about motivation and willpower, and I really think for me anyway, it isn't about motivation but about commitment. Way back when I started doing this, I made a commitment to myself to exercise six days a week and, except for illness and injury, I've kept that commitment. The exercise has changed but I do it at least six days a week even if I get home from work and I'm tired and I have a lot to do and I really don't feel like it. Not because I'm a saint or have super willpower, but because I've made that commitment. I know if I start skipping a day, then it's easy to make excuses to miss another day, then another. As much as I hate Nike with their sweatshops and dodgy practices, they do have one of the most powerful advertising slogans ever (I guess that happens when you spend more on your advertising budget than your entire workforce in SE Asia /end political rant) - Just do it. Anyway, I'm off to celebrate my first day of unemployment with a run (well okay, a walk) along the creek then I'm taking my son the market for vegie shopping followed by lunch.
Well done on the loss! That's fantastic!
By
Sub 85kg - you champion!!
By Congratulation on the loss. That is great. Well done on your exercise and have fun on your first unemployed day. I may be joining you soon :) Well done on the loss. Enjoy your weekend
Congratulations on getting below 85kgs! Wonderful feeling isn't it! Just do it! For sure it is too easy to start making excuses - you are very right. :) A
woohoo for the 80 and a half girl.
By
Congratulations, Kathryn. Your commitment to yourself is so much more valuable than willpower. I like what Beth says over at Act Boldly, "when I do good, I feel good."
By
Congratulations on the loss! You are doing a great job! Great news about the loss and you lived a bit this week as well! Yourae going so well with the exercise. BTW Merri Creek.. I spent my childhood playing at Merri Creek..in Fawkner, those were the carefree days. Have a great weekend and enjoy the fact that you do not have to go to work on MOnday.
Congrats on the weigh in!
By
Well done babe!! I agree with working out what works for you and then going with it. Everyone is motivated by different means for sure and I think this may have something to do with our own values, ethics etc too. I don't think any way is wrong or right, just different.
::3.11.05:: Weight Watchers: Cult of Evil? Okay, for starters I'm not all that anti-Weight Watchers but hey, it's a catchy title! I've just been thinking about this because sometimes I feel like I'm the lone non-WW in the sea of weight loss blogs, the sole counter of calories rather than points. I have joined WW a couple of times in the past and it did nothing for me. I think because I wasn't ready for it at the time - just joining means nothing, you have to follow the program as well. I know it works for some people, I see evidence of it on your blogs, but I thought today I'd go through my reasons for NOT joining Weight Watchers.
Of course, there are some things I miss out on, like the support at the meetings, which I think would be good. I guess you can't have it all. Time for my walk now. If anyone else out there isn't doing Weight Watchers, I'd love to hear from you.
I liked the title :)
By
Hi Kathryn
Great post Kathryn and some very valid comments.
By Kathryn, I'm with you all the "weigh" down the line on the anti-WW points, particularly with the defiant disorder part -- any hint that I've seduced someone else into the weight loss scheme and I have someone to rebel against, which I do. I have joined WW numerous times in the past, forked over my money and then realized that clutching the books they gave me dont' actually lead to any real weight loss. I lead to my own weight loss or I don't. I believe that it's a sensible program, but it's also a very obvious, sensible program -- eat portion controlled meals, exercise, think about what you're doing. Don't need it because if I can't lose weight without WW, I can't lose weight with it. The accountability of being weighed in is attractive and motivating to some people, but I always saw it as the enemy of my ability to break free of depending upon other people for actions which, as an adult, I very correctly have to perform myself.
By
See? There are more of us out there than one might think...
By
Loved the blog. I'm down 18 pounds without WW, and by limiting bread, potatoes and pasta. And walking on the &*^% treadmill, which is my sworn enemy (though I'm trying to readjust my attitude).
Great post Kathryn and I think it is great that you address ideas and concerns you have, even knowing people follow the ww plan.
Hi Kathryn
agree, agree, agree... you are so on the money here. especially the starving before weigh-in/macca's on the way home thing. i most loathed the smugness of the weigh-in staff... "Oh, you've GAINED! Tsk Tsk!". yet 90% of the time the weighers seem to have been there forever and never get any smaller. i am glad to be out of that cult.
By
I don't follow WW either, I just count calories on DC. While I do believe that groups such as WW provide great support and motivation, I couldn't get my head around the following;
Mmm, being a WW person I'd have to disagree with it being a "cult of evil" LOL :-) I just really needed help with losing weight. I tried doing it myself and I tried Lite 'n' Easy (lost weight but put it back on). They didn't work for me because I didn't actually learn anything. Whilst I have been doing WW, I have learnt so much about healthy eating/living and now cook!
::1.11.05:: Melbourne Cup (o' Lard) Day and Challenges I started the day with the best intentions, a 7 km walk along the Merri Creek. I've been wanting to walk from my place to the zoo which is 8 km just to prove to myself that I can walk 8 km. There is a sign near here that says the zoo is 4 km away so that's what I was going to do. The only trouble is that the sign is confusing - I thought the walk was along the Merri Creek trail but no, that goes nowhere near the zoo. When I worked that out, I had no idea how far I'd walked but judging by the dodgy maps along the trail, I'd say 7-7.5 km sounds about right. Arrghh.. by the time I got to the last km, the sun was out in full force and I'd left the shady banks of the creek. I was so happy to see my front door. I'd been invited to a friend's place for drinks in the afternoon. Well, half way through lunch I got a message - they'd changed it to a lunch time BBQ instead. I looked at my avocado and vegemite toast and thought I could ditch the uneaten slice in the bin but it was really yummy avocado toast so I finished it, promising myself to have just one sausage at the BBQ. My net calories (food less exercise) for the day were in the negative so I had a bit of leeway to indulge. Before lunch, we had bread and dips. Not your dodgy Chris's Hommus from the fridge at Coles style dip but scrumptious homemade dips - dhal and a walnut, dried tomato concoction (shudder to think of the fat in that). I had one of those skinless sausages in bread. Then I had to try a big, fat Cornish sausage (kind of like a Cornish pastie in sausage form). At that point, I was full but not doing too bad. So we watched the race and I won the sweep and I had a couple of wine spritzers (aren't I doing well? I used to be a total cup day lush and would need a nap by the time the race started. Seriously, I'd never even heard of Makybe Diva before cos every year I'm napping). Then we headed to the park and lazed on the grass, grazing on dips and breads and crackers and I think there was some cheese there somewhere and then apples soaked in Baileys (surprisingly good). I think I ate a lot but, after drinking a 1.25 litre bottle of Diet Coke plus at least twice that in water, I find it hard to judge. At least I was the voice of reason when going out for dinner was mentioned! Eating dinner after that feast? Arrghh, no way! I thought about going for a swim but was worried I'd sink. So I came home and worked out an estimate of calories. I'd thought sausages were about 1,000 calories each but they are way less! Still not something I want to eat every day but a very worthwhile treat. Tomorrow's going to be a light day, that's for sure (don't you hate the term "light day", sounds like a tampon ad). With lots of exercise. But I don't think I did too much damage. *** Just to finish, before I roll my bloated body into bed, I had a thought while walking this morning. I do a fair bit of walking but my walking is mostly random - I'll walk home from work or whatever and try to do it as fast as possible but you can't really time walking through the city - a run of luck, good or bad, with traffic lights can mean up to 15 minutes difference either way. So I was thinking I want to give myself two different walking challenges - one is to walk the same route - I have a route in mind that is around 4 km - and challenge myself to walk it faster each time. The second challenge is to do a longer walk and increase the distance each time. I figure this gives me a lot of flexibility and variety and with daylight savings is something I can do every day. Good idea to set yourself a walking challenge. I am sure the winter walking challenge really started me off on walking and now I love it. It is such a great all over exercise. I have to do a couple of walking challenges myself. When I was visiting Chicago and walking a lot, I realized how out of shape I am for outside walking (do almost all of it on a treadmill). So, starting this month, out the door I go for at least 3 sessions of 30-45 minutes each per week. It's a real battle to keep from slipping into an out-of-shape blob. :)
By
Sounds like a decent walk but walking in the sun is never fun. Cup day sounds like it was fun for you and well done on the food/alcohol front! It could have been much worse. Great to see you giving yourself some walking challenges too. I love walking!
Great idea to time yourself walking the same track.
Hope you've had a good day today - in spite of the searing heat! All I've wanted to do today is eat icecream, thank God there was none in the house!
By
Isn't walking just fab! Go the walking challenge, make sure you record your results it will keep you on track for sure!
This is slightly off topic but you'll probably like my message anyway. You write a great blog!
I Want... I know of people who "put things out into the universe" - believing that if you make your wishes and desires known, some mystic force will look after you. I did this for years - writing lists and plans for losing weight. The "universe" sure knew what I needed, but the universe was like Groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons. Remember that line of this - "Willie hears ya, Willie don't care." Other people, like my cousin, spend a lot of money in those New Age shops buying spells and magical rocks and things so that they make money, or find love or again, lose weight. In the end, wishing and hoping and chanting don't burn many calories. We all know how to lose weight. The universe might give us the tools to assist with this but it isn't Pizza Hut, you know. There is no promise that your heart's desire will be delivered to your door within 30 minutes or it's free. But there are a couple of things that I want to put out into the universe though, because I believe when it comes to shopping, the universe might be able to help. I want:
I don't think that's excessive or greedy.
Good luck with the "want list" Grrrrr sometimes clothes shopping can just be so god damn frustrating! We will look for these items on our shopping trip!
By
I think it is great that you are putting your 'requests' out to the universe but that you are backing it up with a visit to Target because you are right - I don't think that the universe does a DHL door to door delivery - lol !!
LOL. Did you find the sundress? I too am on the hunt for a pair of long shorts, or short longs (whichever I find first) in a lighter material that jeans. I am not game to wear anything on or above the knees so 3/4 definitely is my way to go. I always thought the "put it out there to the universe" types were really attempting to convince themselves of what they wanted. I believe that once you convince yourself (right down to your unconscious resistance), the rest "magically" falls into place. Identifying what you wanted made you very focused when shopping. There's a lesson in there somewhere, and I think it may be: figure out what you really want and then go get it.
By
I am someone who believes in putting things out to the universe but in saying that, it doesn't mean you don't have to work for it LOL. For me it's just something to focus on what I want and then go and bloody do or get it :-)
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stats:current weight: start weight: total loss: goal weight:
measurements:boobs: 100 cm waist: 81 cm hips: 109 cm thighs: 50 cm
Weekly Goal Lifestyle Changing Challenge-A-RamaWeek 1 - Drink more water Week 2 - Cut out sugary treats *
previous:archives
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